Beliefnet
Because This Is Your Life

It’s a moment I’ll always remember…

Even though I was 6 at the time it still stands out very clearly.

I was sitting at a small dinner table in the kitchen when my mom walked in. With her was a 32 year old man that had a smile which could light up a room.

And as innocent as this moment was I knew something was different.

Yes, there was one other attempt that didn’t turn out so well…

However this time was about to change all of that.

It was as though a new lease on life had just begun.

This was the first time I met Carl. And as fate (and destiny) would have it he ended up marrying my mom…and became my step father.

As a result I got to live the next 13 years under the same roof with Carl.

But it was that first time I met Carl is what gave birth to what would become an initial 13 year run of “first times.” Not only that but it paved the way for me ever since when it came to breaking new ground in my life.

What this did was make me more aware of those “first time” moments.

Along with this it also gave rise to the idea of being able to see each moment as having that “first time” and “new” feeling.

And with that comes the question…

“Do you remember what your first time was like?”

1. New kid in town- As strange as it sounds after my mom married Carl we moved around quite often. In the first 3 years alone we lived in six different places, including five within one year. Obviously this involved being in five different schools within one year. And with each new school, it was becoming a habit that I was the new kid in town.

At the time it seemed like this was an unwise thing for a child to go through.

However, there were two sides to it.

Yes, there was the moving around a lot. And for a child of 8 or 9 it doesn’t help establish a stable place to live, to have friends, and to certainly be in the same school.

On the other hand, it allowed for more of that “first time”, and “new” feeling.

Let’s take a look at you…

Think about the many different situations you’ve been in. How many of those had that “first time” and “new” feeling?

Of course the first time for anything will have that “first time” and “new” feeling.

Let’s take this a step further…

Look at the critical moments in your life. This can involve meeting someone for the first time. It can be a career change. It can relate to your finances. And it can be any “new” chapter about to unfold in your life.

And then ask yourself, “what was it about the situation that gave it that first time and new feeling?”

Along with that ask…

“Is there a way I can experience this first time and new feeling more often?” And an even more profound question is…

“Would I want to continuously experience that first time and new feeling in every moment?” Another way to put this is, “Would I want to feel good all the time”…

I’ll be coming back to this in a minute.

2. First time over time- Carl came into my life at a very critical time. My mother and father had just recently divorced. I went to live with my mom but still spent time with my father on the weekends. But now all of a sudden there was this new male figure in my life. And with this came that 13 year run of “first times”, which seemed to be consistent over time…

There was the first time celebrating Christmas…the first time being a brother to my sister and then brother…the first time living in a house…the first time living in a neighborhood for more than 1 year…

And then there was the first time Carl took me to see the first two Star Wars movies (which has had a major impact on what I teach and speak about)…along with this was Carl also getting me my first car.

What was interesting in all of these is that the “first time” and “new” feeling would carry over into the other areas of life. This involved meeting and becoming long time friends with people. It involved getting into working out and making a lifetime habit of maintaining optimal physical health.

Now let’s come back to what I mentioned earlier…

“Is there a way I can experience this first time and new feeling more often?”

And…

“Would I want to continuously experience that first time and new feeling in every moment?”

To answer the first question…

You do experience the “first time” and “new” feeling every day. The way you know this to be true is that no two days are exactly the same. Go and try to duplicate every single detail the same exact way every time. Of course you won’t.

Now from a general perspective things may seem like the same every day. The same commute to the same job. The same time getting up and going to sleep. The same time of the day eating dinner…you get the idea.

But within each of those moments are an opportunity for a first time and new experience. It’s just a matter of you being aware and making them happen.

As for the second question…

Answering this question is another way of answering, “do I want to feel good all the time?”

And while “yes” may seem like the obvious answer…it’s much wiser to look at it from a different perspective.

Because no matter how much others will try and sell you on the idea that you can “feel good” all the time—or that it’s better to “feel good” more often—the fact is that you’ll have moments of so called “feeling good” and so called “feeling bad.”

It is much wiser to live life from a two sided perspective…knowing that you’ll have “up” moments and “down” moments. Every human being in the history of man and womankind lives this way.

This is why there’s no such thing as living a happy life…but there is such a thing as living a fulfilled life.

Every moment has the “new” and “old” attached to it. This also includes your age and as I like to say, “you grow older in wisdom and younger in vitality.”

Let’s now take a look at your world of wisdom…

3. The world of wisdom- Even though I lived with my mom and still saw my father on a regular basis, I still consider Carl my first mentor. The reason is because he was the first person outside of family that I learned the lessons of life from.

And the wisdom I learned from Carl, to this day, has very much to do with what I do as a human potential specialist…it has everything to do with the type of topics you read from me. This is my way of carrying on the wisdom I learned from him—both directly and indirectly—as well as being my true self in the process.

I can still remember his words, “you’ve got to hustle, you’ve got to be a go getter.”

This was his way of saying to be persistent and relentless in the pursuit of what you love doing.

Along with this comes something else…

The lifetime journey of learning from others. The ability to tap into the wisdom of other people.

We live in a world of wisdom. There’s no question about that. The question is, “are you tapping into that world wisdom?”

Are you realizing that every person is a genius in their own way?

Are you realizing that the genius of others contributes to your life?

Are you realizing that when you say other people have amazing talent, or are gifted, or are beautiful…that you’re saying the same thing about yourself?

You may not be aware of it at first because what you see in others may appear in a different way…

But in your own unique way you have that talent…that gift…that beauty. It’s up to you to ask where you have it and to keep looking until you find it.

At this point you’ll experience the “first time” and “new” feeling.

Then it’s just a matter of you being grateful for all that you have.

To cherish those “new” and “old” moments

To be thankful for those “first”, “second”, and “third” moments.

And to be blessed for all of the people, places, and ideas that have come into your life…

Because they all make up the magnificence and brilliance of who you are.

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