Because This Is Your Life

Because This Is Your Life

Are You Living The Brady Bunch Life?

posted by cweiner

One set of parents.

Six children…three boys and three girls.

One housekeeper.

One dog.

And a misunderstood illusion.

You most likely have figured out who I’m talking about…the Brady Bunch.

But the misunderstood illusion…I’ll be coming back to that in a minute.

First the Brady Bunch.

Of course this was a TV show that originally aired back in 1969 and was based around a fictional family.

And most people who have watched it looked at the Brady Bunch as the “perfect” family…

The nice house…stable family…the children who seemed “well off”…you get the idea.

As a result, some people would compare their own family to the Brady Bunch…

Meaning that their own family wasn’t perfect and that they wish theirs was “perfect” like the Brady Bunch seemed to be.

Now if you’ve ever seen the Brady Bunch have you ever compared your family to either theirs?

And even if you never saw the Brady Bunch have you ever compared your family to someone else’s “perfect” family and wish yours was like there’s?

The same is true about your life.

And brings up the thought of…

Are you living the Brady Bunch life?

1. Using the illusion- It’s rather ironic that humans have a tendency to say one thing…which they think means the opposite…yet turns out to mean what they intended in the first place.

And the Brady Bunch is a perfect example of this.

Why?

Because most people saw the Brady Bunch as the perfect family…one that seemed completely unrealistic…then compared their own family to it…and then realized theirs was no different…

And then realized theirs was perfect after all.

It comes down to this…

Even though the Brady Bunch was based on a fictional family that seemed like the perfect All American family…it is actually based on every family.

How do you know?

Because when you watch each episode of the Brady Bunch…and pay attention…you’ll see moments of support and challenge, pleasure and pain…agreement and disagreement…and other pairs of opposites occurring…equally.

Look and sound familiar?

It does because it’s in every family…mine…yours…all of them.

That right there is what a “perfect” family is.

And this is the misunderstood illusion I mentioned earlier…the notion that the Brady Bunch is a perfect family…and that yours isn’t.

Yet…

As long as you embrace both sides equally…it is perfect.

This not only relates to families, but to your life as well.

Which brings up the next part which also makes up the misunderstood illusion.

2. The peaceful war- Many people saw this in the Brady Bunch…and many…to include well known transformational leaders…are promoting this misunderstood illusion as well…

The idea of trying to live a happy and peaceful life.

In the Brady Bunch some would see this illusion within the family…

As it relates to you…it’s your life along with your family.

Think about this for a moment.

Scan back through your own life up until today. Look in your family as well.

When you do can you see that there’s been happy and sad moments? Can you also see that there’s been peace and war?

With that being said…

Who in the world came up with the idea that you’re going to live a happy and peaceful life?

And the same is true with your family. Who came up with the idea of having a happy and peaceful family?

Now of course this isn’t being negative.

Instead…

It’s the way to see how the “peace” and “war” aspect…the “happy” and “sad” moments are vital for a loving family to exist…and the same is true when it comes to living a fulfilled life.

In fact…

You want to know the only way that you’ll ever have a “peaceful” family?

Look for a family in your neighborhood that you may see as being “jerks” and get into a huge argument with them. In other words start a “war” with them and watch what happens.

Your own family will unite with each other and then you’ll have a peaceful family.

It sounds funny…yet it’s true…and I’ve been on both sides of it.

This type of thing was also seen in some of the episodes in the Brady Bunch.

3. Fun for all- My two favorite characters in the Brady Bunch were Jan and Peter, who happened to be the middle children in the family.

It’s interesting…

Because even back then when I was 10..11…I was actually seeing life from a two sided perspective and didn’t fully realize it.

Case in point here…

The middle children in the Brady Bunch being my favorite characters…along the story lines of the Brady Bunch episodes which obviously had a two sided perspective.

Yet…

There was another part that was also involved…

I call it the fun for all factor.

And what I mean by this is that there was always a “fun” part in the Brady Bunch episodes.

Whether it was the boys playing sports…or the girls having a slumber party…or the entire family going on a vacation to Hawaii…there was that “fun factor” coming into play.

The same is true for you.

Where is the fun factor in your life?

Is it among your family…friends…co workers?

Does it involve…going to a movie…going on vacation…laughing among each other…what is it for you?

Because even when you see life from a two sided perspective, it’s that “fun for all” factor which adds an extra touch of fulfillment.

It’s what makes your life…and the lives of others…that much more inspiring.

And this is what drew me to watch the Brady Bunch to begin with.

In fact…this is what draws me to just about everything I love doing…to include people as well.

Obviously…

Each person has a different way of showing it. Some people just come right out and are blatant about it.

Others are fun in a quiet and “non obvious” way.

In either case it’s this “fun” side of you that also makes up the uniqueness of who you are.

It’s yet another way of how you provide tremendous value to the world by just being you.

And…

It’s also a way of getting others and the world to see how special of a person you are.

How Do You Know Who To Believe?

posted by cweiner

You see it with friends.

You see it with family.

It’s also there with your co workers.

You most certainly see it with personal development and self help “gurus.”
It’s on TV…

In your neighborhood…

Plus…
You see it all the time in the people you admire.

And strange as it seems…

You have it as well.

The most surprising part of all…

It’s the thing to look for that can work for you and turn your life around…or “blow up” in your face and turn your world upside down.

And it involves believing people.

Because no matter how you look at it, you’re in situations on a daily basis throughout your life that involve coming across people where you’re faced with whether to believe them or not.

So how can you tell?

How do you know who to believe?

1. Smiles, energy, and then what- Like it or not, the fact is that we all live in a world where someone is trying to sell something to someone else. And I don’t just mean when it comes to someone that wants you to give them money for something.

When you want to get your spouse or children to listen to you…and to do what you want..you’re in a selling situation

When you ask your boss at work for the day off…you’re in a selling situation.

And even when you get yourself to do something you may not want to do…you’re in a selling situation to yourself.

You get the idea.

Now when it comes to other people trying to get you to do something…buy something…and to do what they want…of course they’ll use certain tactics to do so…especially during your first interaction with them.

And this is where that “it” I mentioned earlier comes into play…

The “smiles” and “energy.”

Think about it…

How many times did you (and I have as well) like someone and were compelled to listen to them more because you liked their smile and their “energy?”

And whether you’re aware of it…or want to openly admit it…the bottom line is that their “smile” and “energy” has a high probability of working.

Because after all this is a common occurrence with people you see on TV…with personal development and self help “gurus”…potential relationship partners…and anyone who tries to get you to buy from them.

And this is all cool…understandable…and certainly important because it shows (at least on the outside) that someone is sincere.

However…

This is only a small piece of the picture and there is another side to it.

And that other side is…”then what?”

What I mean here is…

Just because someone puts up a good smile and has what seems like “great energy” does that mean they are to be believed?

Sometimes “yes” and many times “no.”

So what else can you go by besides their smile and energy?

Enter “then what” and the pseudotruisms.

2. Pseudo truisms- As you already know there are two sides to every person, situation, and event…and the same is true for someone’s smile and energy.

Fact is…in order to know that you can believe someone you need something else to look for.

There’s actually two things here….it’s the “then what” and pseudo truisms.

And what I mean here is…

One, is the person “walking their talk?”

And two, are they trying to sell you a pseudo truisms…also known as a false construct…which typically involves an unrealistic fantasy.

For example…

Let’s take a personal development and self help guru that’s selling you on the idea that you can live a positive and happy life.

They’ll smile and give off great energy and will be believed…right?

However, are they living that positive and happy life? Of course not.

Because they…just like you and I…experience both sides of life…the happy and sad moments…the pleasures and pains…the supports and challenges.

Therefore…

The truth here is…they’re not walking their talk…but their smile and energy may have you think otherwise.

And when you look at any other situation when someone is trying to sell you something you’ll see this in some way.

So just know that no matter who it is and whatever “selling” situation is involved…that there’s always those both sides.

Yes, the smile and great energy is appealing and in many cases is seductive.

Yet…

It’s also quite often used to mask the “sellers” deficiencies in what they’re talking about and trying to sell you.
Now what this comes down to is…

What can you do so you know who you can believe?

3. Your world of make beliefs- Answering this question comes down to something I say repeatedly…and mention every week on my radio show…to even include the other hundreds of radio shows I’ve been on…and it’s this:

“It’s one thing to listen to and read what I’m saying…yet it’s another thing to take what you hear me speak about into your own life and have it work for you.”

In other words…

Don’t take my word for it…see for yourself.

Because the only way you can know for sure if what I’m saying (and this goes for what anybody else is saying and “promising”) is true and to be believed…is for you to find out for yourself.

Now of course there’s another part of this that is needed.

And it involves what I’m calling “your world of make beliefs.”

Meaning…

What you believe in…what it is that’s most important to you…that inspires you…that you “love” doing…are “inspired” to be doing…will involve embracing both sides.

This goes back to what I said earlier.

And also ties in with “how to know who you can believe.”

Because it all comes down to your beliefs…in who you are…what you want to do…what you’re willing to go through to achieve it…and who you’ll believe and not believe along the way.

Remember…

You’ll come across people in your life that will have your best interests at heart…and you’ll come across people who won’t.

And when you’re clear on who you are and what you’d love to be, do, and have…while embracing the “positive” and so called “negative”…even if you come across people that may have “fooled” you with their “smile” and “energy”…

Just know that these people were put in your life as feedback to get you to be true to who you are.

Yes, they’ll be times when you’ll believe someone and you’ll feel they “lied” to you…

And they’ll be other times when you believed someone and what was promised they delivered on.
However…

In both cases it still depends on you…

It depends on you being aware of your uniqueness…

It depends on you being true to yourself…

Because when you do…and you realize how valuable and important of a person you are in this world…you see the blessings in every crisis…along with the crisis in every blessing.

These are gifts that get you to realize how needed you are in the world…

By just being the magnificent you.

What Person Has Made The Biggest Impact In Your Life?

posted by cweiner

What goes through the mind of a 6 year old when it happens?

Furthermore…

What goes through your mind when it happens to you?

At first it may seem like no big deal…

Then over time it turns out to be something more than you ever expected.

It’s funny…

Because even as you go through your life, you’ll still have that daily reminder of what took place, where you were, and what happened…whether you were six, sixteen, twenty six…or any age for that matter.

For me it was the six year old because that’s when I met the person who has made the biggest impact in my life.

And I still remember that moment to this day.

I was sitting at a small white kitchen table when he walked in with my mom…he being my step father Carl.

He had the smile…the charm…and something else about him that I couldn’t pinpoint at the time.

Yet I knew in some way that my life was about to change.

And even though I was still visiting my real father on the weekends, Carl brought a different element into my life…one that was about to change the path of my life.

What’s interesting about all of this?

The same applies to you in your life.

Because there’s that one person who has come in to your life and impacted your life in some way.

Who is this person for you?

What person has made the biggest impact in your life?

1. The moving carousel- As much as Carl impacted my life in a positive way, it didn’t start off that way…or so it seemed.

Let me explain.

Within the first two years of living with my mother and Carl we moved a lot…5 times to be exact.

During that time it did bother me because every time I made new friends…we ended up moving.

Then there were times when I was glad that we moved…because some of the places we did move to I didn’t like.

We eventually did settle in a town in central New Jersey….Old Bridge…and we lived there for 9 years.

Over time I began to see more and more the value of all the moving around.

And the same applies to you.

Now you may be sitting there right now saying, “I’ve lived in the same place for most of my life and haven’t moved around that much.”

However…

When it comes to moving, also think in terms of how you move around in the different areas of your life.

For example…

You may love being around your family and value them more than anything else. As a result you may want to “move around” a lot by taking them on vacations to different places.

Let’s say you value your friends and social network. You may find yourself frequently traveling and going to different events with them as your “hang outs.”

No matter how you look at it you’ll find yourself moving around often.

Take a look at the person who has impacted your life most. In what ways did they get you to “move?”

Here’s another one of the ways to “move” that certainly plays a major role in your life…

2. Hustlers and “go getters”- Carl’s occupation was referred to back then (the 70’s and 80’s) as being a “head hunter.” In other words, he placed people in jobs. And he did so by getting on the phone and in some ways “wheeling and dealing.”

One of his most famous lines was, “you’ve got to hustle” …”you’ve got to be a go getter.”

This was his way of saying to take the initiative and be persistent…to not just sit around and wait for things to come to you.

And this is certainly the one area where Carl impacted my life most…because it taught me on how to get on the phone with people…to take the initiative…to ask questions…to be more outgoing…to help people figure out what they love doing.

What happened as a result…

I’m doing what I love today…as a human potential specialist…helping people realize their own magnificence and brilliance so they can live inspiring and fulfilled lives.

And every one of those skills I learned form Carl has been a driving force behind this.

Obviously…

This applies to you and how your life turns out.

Because in order to live the type of life you’d love to live, it involves being a “go getter”…it involves being persistent…it involves being a “hustler” (in a good way).

Along with this…

It involves doing what you “love” most…doing what you’ve always “dreamed” of doing…doing what “inspires” you most…also known as living according to your highest values.

And when you live according to what is most important to you…you’ll be a “go getter”…you’ll be a “hustler.”

Now when you look through your life…and realize who the person is that has impacted your life most…what did they do that inspired you enough to “hustle” and to be a “go getter?”

What did they say and do to help you?

Also…

How did they support and challenge you…praise and criticize you?

In fact…

This was another driving force in how Carl impacted my life. He wasn’t about all support and praise…he would also challenge and criticize me in a healthy way.

So look for this in your own life.

Because this is how you grow and become independent vs. becoming dependent on others

Simply put…

The person who impacts your life most is the one that provides the “healthy” balance of both sides of life.

And with this comes something else worth bringing up.

3. Keeping the spirit alive- Whether the person who has made the biggest impact in your life is still alive or has passed on, it is wise to think in terms of keeping their spirit alive in some way…or as I like to say “passing the torch.”

Whoever that person is for you and whatever it is they did which had a big impact in your life, make sure and pass on what they gave you to others.

When you do this, you keep that “flame burning”…you keep their spirit alive (as well as your own). This is one of the ways you would go about leaving a legacy.

Carl passed away in October 1992.

And I’ve made it a point since to keep his spirit alive.

This has and continues to be a lifelong commitment because it allows me to give to you what this man gave to me.

And this has already been accomplished in many ways…ranging from “taking his place” and walking my sister down the aisle at her wedding in 2002…to everything I do as a human potential specialist…which includes the different programs I teach, the people I coach, and everything I write and speak about to you.

It’s just another way of me saying “thank you” to someone who took a 6 year old “under his wing”…when he didn’t have to…and at a pivotal time in a young boy’s life.

Think about this in your own life.

How can you “pass the torch” of the person who made the biggest impact in your life…and how can you keep their spirit alive?

What are the ways you can keep that “flame burning”…and give to others what someone unconditionally gave to you from their life?

If this person is still alive…tell them.
If this person has passed on…pass on their spirit to others.

When you think about it…

In either case you’re passing on their spirit anyway through the magnificence and brilliance of who you are.

You’re passing on to others…in your own unique and special way…what a special person passed on to you.

And remember…

Thank yourself for all you do because it really does make a big difference to the people around you as well as the world.

How To Realize Your Defining Moment And Have A Breakthrough In Your Life

posted by cweiner

They laughed at you.

They ignored you.

In some cases they even bullied you.

Then one of two things happen….possibly even both.

Yet…

The strangest part of all is that at first you may not even be aware of it.

And you have a high probability of it coming from an unlikely source…out of the blue…even to the point where you may doubt it in the beginning.

Then when this happens…

They’ll start noticing you.

They’ll start listening to you.

And they’ll respect you.

What am I talking about?

Realizing your defining moment and having a breakthrough in your life.

At first this may seem like a random event…”luck”…being in the right place at the right time…and something you may “think” you have no control over.

However…

You do have control over it.

Although it may not be in the way you originally thought.

So…

How do you realize your defining moment and have a breakthrough in your life?

1. The two Rocky’s- It can and frequently does start off simple. In my case it began when I was 14 going on 15. A friend talked me into going to see a movie with him…Rocky 2. And within the first five minutes of the movie my life changed…and my eventual defining moment and first breakthrough in life was under way.

Although it didn’t happen until a year and four months later when I was 16.

It was because of that movie is when I decided to take on the role of the Rocky character. Except in my case it was going out for the baseball team in high school.

Leading up to this I got into working out.

So I worked out for 4 months to get ready for the baseball tryouts.

The tryouts were for 3 weeks.

And in order to make the team you had to make two “cuts.” If you made the first “cut” you were still eligible to make the team. If you made the second “cut”…you made the team.

I made the first cut.

I was doing well. We had certain baseball drills we did. I out performed most of the kids.

The coach had us do a mile and a half run. I was finishing ahead of everyone.

We also had a simulated game against the upper class men. In one of these simulated games I batted against an all county pitcher. He threw about 80-90 miles per hour…and one of his pitches hit me square in the ribs.

Down I went.

And then back up.

Even though I struck out there was a sense that something had taken place… although I didn’t know it yet.

Then finally the day came for the final cuts and who was to make the team.

The coach was reading off the names of the kids who didn’t make the team. One after another. He didn’t read my name. Then he stopped.

“I made the team was going through my mind”…

And then he read off my name. I didn’t make the team.

My heart sank…because making that team at the time was the most important thing to me.

Seconds after he cut me (and in front of approximately 25 kids…most of whom I grew up with…and some who would pick on me) he said…

“You have more guts than anyone I’ve ever seen. Come out for the team next year and you’ll probably make it.”

At the moment he said this I was thinking, “great well why didn’t I make it this year.”

However…

Something else happened in that moment. I just wasn’t sure exactly what it was.

What I did realize though was…what he said was a similar line in the Rocky movie where the announcer said, “You have just witnessed the greatest exhibition of guts and stamina in the history of the ring.”

And…

The same baseball coach who said that to me…and cut me from the team…his name was Rocky.

As a result of this came my defining moment and (first) major breakthrough…even though I wasn’t completely aware of it at that moment.

Think about the different situations in your life.

Think about the moments that did and didn’t go your way…

Because somewhere in there is your defining moment that leads to the breakthrough in your life.

I’ll be coming back to this in a minute.

2. Your recurring breakthroughs- That day I got cut from the team was the last time I played baseball. Even though I knew I would make the team the following year I never went out for the team. At the time this was out of character for me because I loved playing baseball.

For some reason when Rocky (the baseball coach) made that comment to me my life as I knew it was about to change…fast.

At the time I was a shy and quiet person…I became more outgoing.

At the time I was getting somewhat bullied by other kids…that stopped because I was now standing up for myself.

Leading up to that point in time I was “conservative”…I now started taking more risks.

I went from being unknown to being more popular.

I was more respected.

It also paved the way for me to make a lifetime commitment to working out…which I still do to this very day.

And just moving forward from the day Rocky made that comment I could tell it was my defining moment. Not only that but it led to all of these other little breakthroughs I experienced…and still do in many ways to this day.

The most fascinating part of all…

When Rocky cut me from the team…in that same moment he “rejected” me (cutting me from the team)…he “accepted” me (by making a simple comment that changed the course of my life)

This is the major takeaway for you in your life.

And it goes back to what I said a few minutes ago.

When looking to realize your defining moment and having those breakthroughs in your life…

Look at the different moments that did and didn’t go your way. In the process of doing so look for the equal amounts of positives and negatives, praise and criticism, support and challenge, pleasure and pain, acceptance and rejection.

Because when you do and are able to see both sides occurring equally…and simultaneously…you’ll find your defining moment.

Along with that you’ll have a high probability of experiencing a major breakthrough in your life.

And…

You’ll also get into the habit of having recurring breakthroughs.

This is why—like I said earlier—you do have control of this. It’s not some “random” thing…or “luck”…or some type of so called “karma.”

You do control your destiny…and those defining moments that make up the breakthroughs in your life.

3. Thank you to all- I never would have thought (back then) that something which turned out to not go the way I wanted…actually ended up in many ways saving my life…

Because after all, who thinks about not accomplishing what they want…but then having that turn out to be a ‘blessing?”

In fact this gives rise to something I’ve said many times…

“In every crisis there’s a blessing…and in every blessing there’s a crisis.”

This is the true essence…the “root” if you will…to having those defining moments and breakthroughs occur throughout your life.

It also gives rise to 2 of the 5 most important words you’ll ever say in your life…

“Thank you.”

In my case…

“Thank you” to Rocky (the baseball coach) who made a little comment that changed the course a 16 yr. old kid’s life.

“Thank you” to the other Rocky (Sylvester Stallone) for creating a character that inspired me to emulate in my own unique way.

“Thank you” to every other person in my life…family, friends, acquaintances, fellow colleagues, so called “enemies”, and even those I’ve never met who have contributed in some way to my life.

And certainly “Thank you” to you for reading what I write…and for listening to what I speak about.

When it comes to you…

Who can you say “thank you” to?

Who has contributed the most to your life?

Who has been there with you and helped you up when you were “down?”

Who said something…who did something…that helped you in some way in your life?

Who contributed to you having your own defining moments and breakthroughs in your life?

If you haven’t taken the time to thank all of these people…now is the time to do so.

And most of all…

“Thank yourself” for all that you do.

Because whether you know it or not…

You do contribute a tremendous amount of value to the world in your own unique and special way.

Previous Posts

Are You Living The Brady Bunch Life?
One set of parents. Six children...three boys and three girls. One housekeeper. One dog. And a misunderstood illusion. You most likely have figured out who I'm talking about...the Brady Bunch. But the misunderstood illusion...I'll be coming back to that in a minute. First the Br

posted 6:46:20pm Dec. 14, 2014 | read full post »

How Do You Know Who To Believe?
You see it with friends. You see it with family. It's also there with your co workers. You most certainly see it with personal development and self help "gurus." It's on TV... In your neighborhood... Plus... You see it all the time in the people you admire. And strange as it seem

posted 9:41:39pm Dec. 07, 2014 | read full post »

What Person Has Made The Biggest Impact In Your Life?
What goes through the mind of a 6 year old when it happens? Furthermore... What goes through your mind when it happens to you? At first it may seem like no big deal... Then over time it turns out to be something more than you ever expected. It's funny... Because even as you go thro

posted 11:10:16pm Nov. 30, 2014 | read full post »

How To Realize Your Defining Moment And Have A Breakthrough In Your Life
They laughed at you. They ignored you. In some cases they even bullied you. Then one of two things happen....possibly even both. Yet... The strangest part of all is that at first you may not even be aware of it. And you have a high probability of it coming from an unlikely source..

posted 5:47:40pm Nov. 23, 2014 | read full post »

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posted 12:47:55am Nov. 17, 2014 | read full post »


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