Because This Is Your Life

Because This Is Your Life

How Often Are You Taking Your Privates Public?

posted by cweiner

At times it can involve forbidden taboos.

To others it’s no big deal at any time.

And then you have the people who see it both ways depending on the situation.

Now let’s consider what happens when you bring something that magnifies it all…such as a TV.

Well not just any ordinary TV.

Picture this…

If your life were broadcasted on 24 hour TV and the world got to see everything you do…would you care? Would you have a problem with that?

In other words…

If the entire world had the opportunity to see you live your life 24 hours a day…would you be able to love the things about yourself that you would ordinarily want no one else to know…those things you usually do all you can to keep private?

Have you ever thought about this in some way?

Whether you have or haven’t, to some degree you reveal parts of your private self to others in your public life.

So the question is…

How often are you taking your privates public?

1. The Adjusted American- There’s an interesting book I just read called the Adjusted American. It was written back in 1964 and is about the normal neuroses in individuals and society.

Early on in the book it talks about how most people are VERY much concerned with what others think of them…and how this is not a healthy habit. It also goes on to talk about how humans have the need to be recognized.

While the book title may reference Americans, what they talk about applies to humans throughout the world…

And this ties right in with the idea of you being on 24 hour world TV.

Think about it…

How many times have you been in a situation…maybe you were at the store…at work…in a crowded area…or perhaps you were about to stand up in front of a room full of people to give a speech…

And you had thoughts like…

“What if they notice I’m overweight?”

“What if they notice my skin is sagging?”

“What if they think I talk funny?”

“What if they _____________?”

Whatever it was in your situation it still left you feeling very concerned about what others think.

Now here’s the fascinating part of this…

Most people…even those who you’re worried about what they think of you…most of the time are so busy with what others think about them…that they’re actually not thinking about you at all.

Yes, there may be some here and there who don’t fit this mold.

Yet…

The overwhelming majority of people are so concerned about what’s going on in their lives that they’re not even remotely thinking about how you look, sound, or come off.

And even those that do…they forget about it and get back on with their own lives.

Why am I bringing this up?

Because the next time you have false evidence appearing real…FEAR…remember what I just said a moment ago.

As a result…

You would have taken the first step to taking your privates public…

Which leads to the next part

2. Human beings only- After having consulted and coached hundreds of clients that have come through my Breakthrough to Achieve program I still get a shocking response whenever this is brought up…

“Anything anyone says about you is true. However, it may not be in the same exact form…but it’s still true.”

Most people have a tough time realizing this at first.

Why?

Because we as humans have been taught to adopt certain traits…usually the positive ones…while disowning the so called “negative” ones.

And this results in a one sided, pseudo, fantasy persona of who you are. In other words it’s not being authentic.

Remember…

All humans have every human trait… to include those that are the most sacred and most profane. If a trait…negative or positive…didn’t serve a purpose it wouldn’t exist.

And the reason I’m bringing this up goes back to what I said about being on 24 hour TV…along with worrying about what others think about you.

It comes down to this…

When you know with certainty that you have every trait…the so called “positive” and “negative” ones…you won’t worry about what other people say or might even be thinking regarding you…because it’s true anyway.

It’s just a matter of seeing how it serves your life.

And when you do…

You’ll be able to love and appreciate yourself.

It’s interesting…

How many times have you heard someone…especially the personal development and self help gurus speak about being able to “love yourself”…yet you never hear them bring in the so called “negative” parts of themselves along with the positive?”

Because the only way you’re able to love yourself is to be thankful and appreciate all the parts of who you are.

Now what you’ll see most people talk about here is the idea of acceptance…and accepting yourself (and others) for who you (and they) are.

This is not about acceptance.

You’re not here to “accept” yourself or others…because this implies something is still out of order.

“Acceptance is an illusion that I’ve convinced myself that something is right or good. It’s a one way self righteous judgment and is often a resistance to loving someone or something.”

Remember…

You are here to love…yourself and others.

And the way you do is by seeing both sides…not accepting one or the other.

3. Tuning in or out- Obviously when it comes to taking your privates public there is a limit so to speak.

What I mean is…you don’t want to go around announcing to the world everything about yourself, your family, and those you care about…

Because after all there is a trust factor involved…especially when dealing with other people.

Plus…

The idea of going around and telling everyone about yourself…even if it doesn’t bother you in revealing everything about yourself is not the wisest way to be humble and present.

What’s important here is that you’re aware and prepared for moments that come up in your life…that at first may have you feeling uneasy…and then being able to not let them (or others) bother you in what they said or think about you.

Because when you’re not worried about what others think…you’ll be focused and present.

Which in turn allows you to bring out your inner brilliance…and to shine.

It allows you to tune in and be present while tuning out the distractions.

It allows you to be in control of your life versus having others control your life.

And it allows you to get in touch with the magnificence of who you are…what you’re made of…and what you’re here to be, do, and have.

I’ve said this many times…

You never have to get rid of who you are to appreciate and love yourself.

And…

You never have to get rid of any of yourself to be appreciated and loved for who you are.

It’s a matter of embracing and seeing yourself in a way that brings tremendous amounts of value to the world through the uniqueness of who you are.

Does This Apply To You?

posted by cweiner

There are two words that I know you use throughout your life on a regular basis that you feel is how your life has played out…

Success and failure.

There are two other words that I also know you use, most likely not as much. The difference here is that these other two words define your life much more accurately. I’ll come back to these in a minute.

Let’s first take a look at success and failure.

I’ve done this, we’ve all done this–and that is label ourselves as either being a success or failure. And many times we’ll have a tendency to label ourselves as being more of one than the other.

Does this apply to you?

If it does then keep reading because today you’ll discover something you most likely have not heard before.

Just about everyone has experienced moments of success and failure during their lives. And in some cases much more of one than the other.

There are some people who think their life was nothing but a failure. And they think that everything they did was doomed from the start. Whether it’s their finances, their relationships, or just how their life has played out in general.

Then you have the people who feel that everything they’ve done turned out to be successful. That everything they touched turned to gold.

This is at least what you see on the outside.

But guess what?

And here’s the part that’s incredibly important.

The second you think you’re successful, you’re often on your way down…

And the second you feel you’re failing, you’re usually on your way up.

Huh?

Let’s look at that…

And to start here’s a very unusual quote by Don Keough, the former president of Coca-Cola who said that the knowledge of failure can lead to success.

Here’s the quote…

“I have always been afraid of the word success. People, companies, and countries can get into trouble when they start to think they’re successful. They get arrogant.”

What Keough is basically saying is that it’s much wiser to come from a poised state of mind where you see yourself as being a success AND failure.

And this falls right in line with the fact that you’re a two sided person. You may experience moments of perceiving that you’re more of one side (for example, successful) than the other (failure).

But the fact is that you’re both and you need both.

And remember that the more you perceive yourself as being or trying to be more of one side, the more you’ll get the opposite side to come in and try and “balance you out” so to speak.

This is what Keough was also implying.

Therefore it is wise to not get too “up” when things go your way or too “down” when they don’t.

With that said let’s now come back to those other two words I mentioned earlier.

Instead of labeling yourself as a “success” or “failure” it is much wise to use the words “fulfillment” and “achievement..”

Why?

Because “fulfillment” embraces both sides, the success and failure, which you need. This is what helps you become more poised and balanced. By living your life this way you don’t get into the “extreme “ups” and “downs” which over time actually stops you from achieving what you would love to have.

The same is true about “achievement.” This embraces both sides as well. Because throughout your life you’ll achieve both “success” and “failure.”

And to paraphrase what Keough said, “the knowledge of failure can lead to success.”

The only way you can do this is to “achieve” failure because this paves the way for your success. You need both and they both come in pairs.

This is why labeling yourself and striving for one or the other is futile.

Because it’s very easy to get “puffed up” and “cocky” when we become successful. We become distracted, stop doing what we love, and forget what actually got us there. We become ungrateful.

When we perceive ourselves as a failure we get “down”, “beat ourselves up”, and have a tendency to go back to the basics and do high priority things that get us back on track.

This is also why it’s unwise to think in terms of “success” and “failure”…

But rather to think in terms of “fulfillment” and “achievement” because in this way you won’t get into those emotional mood swings…

And in the process you’ll be your true authentic self. You’ll be in a state of gratitude.

The bottom line is this…

If you have the time to be worried and concerned about success and failure, you’re distracting yourself from the tremendous amount of value you provide the world.

And certainly from realizing how unique and amazing of a person you are.

Yes, it’s important to strive for what you’d love to have in any area of your life and be able to know if you’ve achieved that.

But rather than getting hung up on whether you succeeded or failed…

When you realize that you have an equal balance of both, you actually achieve more of that originally perceived “success” you wanted all along…

While at the same time achieved the failure along the way that helped you to live the fulfilled, inspiring, and extraordinary life you wanted all along.

What Does It Take To Be More Focused?

posted by cweiner

There’s something going on right now that is becoming very scarce in most people’s lives.

On one hand it is wreaking havoc in our society…

And on the other hand it is such a valuable commodity that it can completely change any area of your life. It can help you go from where you are now to where you want to be.

In fact, this is something that you’ve both done and not done many times in countless situations during the course of your life.

Some times it helped you and in other times it caused a major problem for you.

What I’m referring to is…paying attention.

But let’s go further than that because this leads to something even bigger that I’m certain you’ve had to deal with on a daily basis…

And that is your ability to stay focused.

We’ve all been in situations where in one moment we were thinking one thing, and then in the next moment forgot what that was while thinking about something entirely different.

These can be some of the most frustrating situations that you’ll ever encounter because they can happen any time of the day, to include when you’re trying to sleep at night.

Regardless of when these situations come up, not being able to stay focused is a major distraction, but the good news is that there are ways to completely turn this (and your life) around.

So the question is…

“What does it take to be more focused?”

1. Focused sleeping- I have a confession to make here. There was a few year time period in my life a number of years ago when I would have a very difficult time sleeping. Even more revealing than that is the way it occurred for me.

I’d either have a very difficult time falling asleep (sometimes taking 3-4 hours), but once I fell asleep I slept through the night…

Or I’d fall right asleep and then a few hours later (usually around 2-3am) would be up and not able to fall back to sleep. In both of these cases I was left feeling very tired and sluggish throughout the day.

At first I couldn’t put my finger on why this was happening, but I knew it came down to having an endless amount of thoughts racing through my mind as soon as I laid down.

I knew something had to be done about this because I couldn’t go on feeling tired and exhausted throughout the day.

This gave birth to two strategies that helped turn this around.

The first is that I started taking about a 1-2 hour nap around two in the afternoon. Due to my lifestyle at the time this worked very well because it allowed me to be refreshed. As my lifestyle changed it didn’t allow me the luxury of taking the mid afternoon nap. This is what gave rise to the next strategy that I use to this day.

I call it focused sleeping.

If you find yourself having a difficult time falling asleep, especially if it is due to negative thoughts and fears racing through your mind, look for the opposite.

Any fear that you have has more negatives than positives in your perception. To break that, look for the positive in whatever the “negative” is that you’re experiencing.

And a really good way to make this even more effective for you is to come up with whatever it is that you’d love to do in your life. Then start strategizing out your plan of how to accomplish it.

This is something else that works very well. Because after all, if you find yourself having a difficult time falling asleep, you may as well use that time to plan out exactly how you want your life. This is what I call focused sleeping.

I’ll be honest, even to this day, I sometimes have nights that I don’t sleep the way I would like. But that is because I find myself planning things out. Yes, it may reduce the quality of sleep that I’d like to have at times, but it doesn’t leave me tired because I’m focusing on doing what I love.

The point here is…

Even if you have a hard time falling asleep, when you use that time to focus on something you love and have a plan and strategies on how to accomplish it, you won’t be as tired as you normally would. In fact, you’ll be energized.

2. Attention all humans- Earlier I mentioned about attention wreaking havoc in our society and also being a valuable commodity. Actually it is the lack of attention that causes the havoc while it is the focused attention that is the valuable commodity.

And guess what?

You have both. Let me explain.

Every human being in the history of man and womankind has both attention deficit and attention surplus. Here’s the proof…

Take a look in your own life at what you absolutely love doing most. I’m sure that’s something you could do all day long and have hours on end go by without you even realizing it. This is what happens when you have attention surplus.

Now take a look at whatever it is that you dislike doing the most. In these situations how often did you find yourself getting bored really fast, becoming fidgety, and easily distracted? This is what happens when you have attention deficit.

In my case, I experience attention surplus whenever I write these articles because it’s based on things I’ve done and love doing. Time flies by and I get a lot done in less time.

On the flip side, any time I find myself dealing with computer tech issues, I have attention deficit. I get bored, disinterested, and rather fidgety to the point where I get someone else to do the tech work for me.

Therefore in certain situation I’m attention surplus and in others I’m attention deficit.

And the same is true for you based on your specific situations of what is and what isn’t most important to you.

Why is this important to bring up?

Because when it comes to your ability to stay more focused, you’ll do so when you have attention surplus…which is the result of doing something you love most.

Things that bore you, you’ll have attention deficit and therefore will have a very difficult time staying focused.

If you find yourself saying, “I have to”, “I’m supposed to”, “I’ve got to” chances are you’ll experience attention deficit and not be focused.

When you find yourself saying, “I love to”, “I’m inspired to”, “This is what I’ve always dreamed of doing”, you’ll experience attention surplus and be more focused.

3. Your emotional rescue- Your ability to be more focused ultimately comes down to being present and having a poised mind. When you are in this state, you won’t have the mind chatter going on. You won’t have a million things going through your mind per second. And you certainly won’t be distracted.

I’m sure this is pretty obvious to you.

What may not be obvious to you is the very thing that helps you become more present and poised (and therefore more focused)…

And it’s being able to manage your emotions.

Any time you get too “up”, “elated”, “puffed up” or “cocky” you get distracted. This will ultimately lead to becoming “down”, “depressed”, and you’ll at some point “beat yourself up” and have a high probability of having regrets. This will also keep you distracted.

Your ability to be more focused (while also maintaining that focus) boils down to you being able to manage your emotions. And a big part of this involves not getting too up or too down.

Whether things go the way you want or not throughout your day, the best way to react to any of these situations is in a poised manner.

And one of the ways you do this is to understand that in every situation there’s always both sides occurring, the positive and negative.

Once you’re able to see that, you won’t get distracted and as a result you’ll be able to stay focused on whatever it is that you’re doing.

Along with this you’ll also realize the tremendous amount of value that you contribute to the world through your uniqueness…

Plus you’ll really see how special and amazing of a person you really are.

How Embarrassing is This?

posted by cweiner

You’ve done this.

I’ve done it.

And the bizarre part…you didn’t plan on it happening.

I’ll come back to this in a minute…

Only because it reminds me of one of those times.

I was 17.

Had just gotten my driver’s license.

And decided to go to the mall with my friend.

While there we each had to go to the bathroom. Nothing unusual…right?

So with my friend leading the way we scurried down the long hallway…hooked a sharp left…and then another quick left into the bathroom.

After taking a few steps in something didn’t look right.

And while my friend was laughing and acting his “crazy self” I said, “Vic there’s something out of place here.”

He was half laughing and half “grunting” as he ran out of the bathroom.

And at that moment I realized what was out of place…

We both ran into the woman’s bathroom.

Then after I walked out…I still remember to this day…there was a guy—who looked like Nelson Mandela— sitting there and laughing at us.

It was embarrassing…only because someone had seen us run into the woman’s bathroom.

This now brings up what I mentioned earlier…about what you and I have done but didn’t plan on happening.

And what I’m referring to are those embarrassing moments you’ve been in.

Along with this…

There’s a hidden “life gem” involved in these moments that can and do change the course of how your life turns out…as long as you’re aware of it.

And it has to do with you taking what seems like “risks” in your life.

Think of a time when you wanted to do something…

It could have been speaking in front of a group of people.

It could have been asking someone you like to go out on a date.

It could have been an idea you came up with that you knew people would laugh at.

It could have been anything that was “stretching” you beyond your normal comfort zone.

It can even be what your life purpose is.

Now let’s say you did follow through on whatever it was for you. Did you notice that it wasn’t as “bad” as you originally thought?

Yet at first you felt embarrassed at the thought of doing it…even to the point of outright fear.

Also think about this…

Let’s take those moments I just mentioned. What if you approached those without any preconceived thoughts. In other words, let’s say you didn’t know any better.

Would you have felt embarrassed at the thought of doing it? Would you have had any feelings of fear by doing it?

And this goes back to what happened with me that day I ran in to the woman’s bathroom at the mall.

I didn’t know any better because I didn’t know it was the woman’s bathroom at first…because if I did there’s no way would I have walked in.

Because in that moment—even though I wasn’t consciously aware of it—I saw a balance of positive and negative…and therefore had no fear of going into the bathroom.

Yet…

After I walked in…realized what happened…then ran out…and saw the Nelson Mandela looking guy laughing…that’s when I felt embarrassed. Plus I was also thinking, “what if other people saw this, would they tell on us?”

This brings up another part of this “life gem”…

Worrying about what other people will say and think of you.

Even though the Nelson Mandela lookalike witnessed this entire episode it was still embarrassing at first. And if I had noticed him sitting out there to begin with I would not have gone into the woman’s bathroom.

But…

After I walked out and saw him laughing I knew what my friend and I did wasn’t that “bad” after all. And if anything that guy sitting out there saw us as having the “guts” enough to do what we did.

So was I worried about what he thought at this point? Of course not…because he was laughing about it.

And that’s the point to realize here…

Because many times you’ll find yourself worrying about what other people will think of you when you do something that is “beyond the ordinary.”

At this point you have two choices…go with the “status quo” or go beyond the norm and stand out.

And this is exactly what’s involved in you going from where you are now to where you want to be.
It’s the difference between staying stuck living a life of “have to’s”, “supposed to’s”, and “got to’s.”

Versus…

Living a life of “I love to’s”, “I’m inspired to”, and “This is what I’ve always dreamed of doing.”

And it’s not a matter of what other people think.

You’ll have people liking and disliking you no matter what you do.

You’ll have people supporting and challenging you no matter what you do.

You’ll have people praising and criticizing you no matter what you do.

And you know what?

You’ll also have those “embarrassing moments” come up along the way. These are necessary to get you to go beyond yourself.

They’re necessary because they help bring out the best in you.

They’re involved in getting you to appreciate who you are and all that you do.

They’re involved in getting you to realize how much value you contribute to the world through your uniqueness.

And they get you to see how special of a person you are.

Previous Posts

How Often Are You Taking Your Privates Public?
At times it can involve forbidden taboos. To others it's no big deal at any time. And then you have the people who see it both ways depending on the situation. Now let's consider what happens when you bring something that magnifies it all...such as a TV. Well not just any ordinary TV.

posted 5:46:16pm Feb. 22, 2015 | read full post »

Does This Apply To You?
There are two words that I know you use throughout your life on a regular basis that you feel is how your life has played out... Success and failure. There are two other words that I also know you use, most likely not as much. The difference here is that these other two words define your life

posted 8:49:20pm Feb. 15, 2015 | read full post »

What Does It Take To Be More Focused?
There's something going on right now that is becoming very scarce in most people's lives. On one hand it is wreaking havoc in our society... And on the other hand it is such a valuable commodity that it can completely change any area of your life. It can help you go from where you are now to w

posted 4:36:42pm Feb. 08, 2015 | read full post »

How Embarrassing is This?
You've done this. I've done it. And the bizarre part...you didn't plan on it happening. I'll come back to this in a minute... Only because it reminds me of one of those times. I was 17. Had just gotten my driver's license. And decided to go to the mall with my friend. While t

posted 1:30:32am Feb. 02, 2015 | read full post »

How Do You Know What Will Work For You?
I've had this happen to me and I'd like to know if the same thing has happened to you. Let me explain... From the time I was a teenager, I thought I knew what I wanted to do. First there was computers, then fitness, psychology, physical therapy, communication, and on and on it went. Then

posted 7:28:00pm Jan. 25, 2015 | read full post »


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