Beliefnet
Because This Is Your Life

What happens when you watch a movie on TV?

You see a story that has a script to it.

It has a beginning, an end, and the events that take place in between.

But sometimes it doesn’t go the way as planned…even though it may seem like it’s supposed to at first.

In many ways this sounds like your life…right?

Now there’s something else you quite often don’t see in the movie that also happens to be in your life as well.

And it has to do with how your life turns out…even though it’s something most people do anything in their power to avoid like cancer.

Not only is this something that can strike the fear of death into you, but it’s also the very thing needed to turn your life around when it seems like all hope is lost.

What I’m talking about is “The unknown”

And more specifically…the Great Unknown.

Let’s face it…

It’s only natural as a human being to want to know how things will work out…the script of how things are to go in your life and having it be predictable.

But as you already know it quite often doesn’t go that way. And with it comes the eventual fear along with the unknown of what today, tomorrow, and the future brings.

What happens as a result…

Feeling paralyzed of what to do which quite often leads to giving up.

Interestingly…

This is the best time to “dive in” and discover this great unknown because it’s where the solutions to the biggest problems in your life are.

So the question is…

“What (and where) exactly is this great unknown in your life”

…and how do you discover it?

1. Navigating the unknown

There are two things that you, I, and every human being will always face in life no matter what and these are right at the backbone of dealing with the unknown…making choices and taking risks.

With that said here’s a quote of mine…

“Life is full of choices. One of these choices is taking risks. And unless you’re willing to sometimes take risks your life will never change.”

Because many of the most important choices you’ll make in life comes with an increasing amount of risk…whether they have to do with your family, your career, the people you choose to associate with, your finances, and even who you are as a person.

And by knowing how to be courageous and brave enough to make these choices is what leads to discovering the greatest reward of all. It’s life’s most treasured payoff you’ll get as a human which is only attainable by navigating through the unknown.

I’ll come back to what this is in a few minutes.

But first the question here is…

How do you effectively navigate through the unknown?

Well, it’s the same way for all human beings…

By embracing life from a two-sided perspective.

Every situation you come across, whether you take risks or not, will have two sides to it.

Meaning…

No matter what you do you’ll have people liking and disliking you, supporting and challenging you, praising and criticizing you, putting you up and putting you down, being nice and mean to you…EQUALLY.

And the same is true of yourself. You’ll have moments of feeling happy and sad…equally. Moments of building yourself up and putting yourself down…equally.

There’s no escaping this.

And the interesting part of this…

Whether you step in to the unknown or go through life “playing it safe” and trying to avoid the unknown…you’ll get it anyway.

This brings up another quote that comes to mind…

“The real risk in life is doing nothing.”

Therefore…

It’s wise to make it a point to take risks because this is what gives you the courage to navigate  through and “step in to”, take on, and go through the great unknown in your life.

And since you’ll get the both sides of life that I just mentioned, then you may as well  “dive in” anyway…right?

Now of course when I say to take risks I don’t mean reckless, out of control, and highly emotional risks…

What I do mean are “healthy risks” that see the different situations involved from a two-sided perspective, along with seeing the equal amount of benefits and drawbacks of each.

When you approach it like this, you dance your way through the unknown and out the other side…which is the greatest reward I spoke about earlier.

In fact, there’s two greatest rewards.

Let’s look at the first one now.

2. Destination…Truth

Naturally there are as many different life journeys as there are people in the world. The nice part of this is the fact that your journey is unique and special. What is the same for everyone however is that all life’s journeys have a destination…

The truth

…And it’s here where the core of the great unknown in your life exists.

In fact…

This is where the first greatest reward of your life lives.

Because it’s here where you discover the truth…the truth of who you are, why you’re here, what you’re made of, and what you’re willing to go through.

It’s also where you discover the other different truths…the truths of the many different events you go through in your life.

If there’s such a thing in life as an ultimate destination in life…this is it.

However…

As much as a life reward this is, far too many people avoid what it takes to get there…stepping in to the great unknown.

Strangely…

Even though all human beings want the truth, most are afraid of it. They avoid it like cancer. And ironically, more often than not it has to do with stepping in to and discover the great unknown in their lives.

This again goes back to what I said earlier about taking risks…along with making the choices to take those risks.

And one of the main reasons for this is because most people are striving for a one-sided fantasy life…seeking more happiness than sadness, more pleasure than pain, more kindness than cruelness.

The world is not…was never…and will never work that way. It was never designed to in the first place.

It’s designed to work in a two-sided manner…and this is where you discover all truths in life…along with the great unknown in your life.

Remember…

No matter how you go about life, there is no getting around making the choices that involve taking risks…which will always include having an equal amount of benefits and drawbacks to whatever is included in that “risky” situation.

And this is something I’ve certainly experienced in my life as well…especially when starting my own business. But it didn’t end there as I still to this day deal with many different types of situations that involve stepping in to the great unknown.

Not only have I dealt with it in my business, but in my personal life as well.

During my life I’ve moved several times, and with each move comes a new unknown in my life to deal with.

There are the unknowns of what the new place I move to will be like…who will I end up meeting and becoming friends with…how will I adjust to a new surrounding.

After many of these moves I ended up moving back to New Jersey. And even with those moves back to a place I’m familiar with came many unknowns as well.

The people who know me wonder why I move so much and see it as a disadvantage…but there are an equal amount of advantages to it as well…such as being conditioned to deal with and navigate through the great unknown in my life.

And the same is true for you as it relates to your life.

In fact…

Once you make it a habit of seeing all events and moments in your life as having an equal amount of benefits and drawbacks (two-sided) you’ll condition yourself in how to anticipate dealing with “future events” before they come up.

Because whether you’re looking at the past, present, or future events in your life you still go about how you see them the same way…from the two-sided perspective I’ve been speaking about.

As a result…

You’ll uncover the different truths in life I mentioned earlier along with the second greatest reward life gives you.

3. The hidden blessings abyss

Now of course there’s the other side of what happens as a result of taking the different risks in your life…the rewards. And what’s fascinating about this is the fact that even if the risks you take don’t go the way you want you still get an equal reward.

This brings us back to the second of those great rewards that you get…

Finding the hidden blessings in your life.

And it’s here where you find the true meaning of your life.

It’s here where the things you may see at first as making no sense start to make sense.

It’s here where you realize why things happen the way they do.

And it’s also here where you discover not only the hidden order in the chaos of life, but what the great unknown is in your life.

This brings up another quote of mine:

“Instead of fearing and avoiding the unknown, look forward to the hidden blessings that the unknown reveals.”

This is what I call the hidden blessings abyss because within the great unknown of your life is an endless supply of hidden blessings that are there waiting for you to find them.

One such example in my life took place back in 2006. That’s when I had the failed business partnership that ended up costing me over $50,000. This resulted in my transitioning out of the fitness industry and into what I do today as a human potential specialist.

As a result…

I discovered who I am, why I’m here, and it conditioned me to effectively deal with the many different unknowns that have occurred in my life since.

Your life is full of hidden blessings…all designed to help you discover what your life is all about.

As scary and risky things may seem at times the rewards that come out of it for you make it all worth it…especially the hidden blessings you discover along the way.

Life is meant to be lived and in a way that is unique to who you are.

You’re here to find out what makes you the unique and special person you are.

Now when I say special I don’t mean feeling “entitled”…

What I do mean is… what it is about you that brings value to the world…and in a way that helps others do the same in their lives.

And doing it in a way that allows you to shine…to be the person you were put in this world to be.

You do matter…

You do make a difference…

And you do deserve to be loved and appreciated for who you are and all you do.

How can something at times be the messiest thing you’ll ever see…

While at the same time is one of the most important and neatest things in your life?

And not just during different moments throughout your life…but all throughout your life?

Along with this…

How can this very thing also be the source of uncovering the truth in every one of these moments you experience?

Not only that…

But once you see how this works you’ll be in total control of your life, regardless of what your situation is right now.

What I’m talking about are the “details.”

That is…getting the specifics…the details about the different situations you deal with throughout your life.

Because this is what’s necessary to live the type of life you want. And even though you usually won’t see or hear anyone talk about it…it’s the driving force behind the success you see people having.

And it’s also one of the main driving forces behind discovering the truth.

So the question is…

“What are the details of your life?”

…and how can they be used to transform your life?

1. Specific is terrific

It’s subtle and seems so innocent at first. Quite often it starts out looking very easy and simple and then over time quietly has people giving up…while having the person attribute the reason to something other than what it really is.

This is what commonly happens when you get information from someone…especially the type of information that you’re looking for to help you in some way.

For example…

How many times have you seen someone make a promise that you can transform your life in some way. They’ll make it seem so easy, fast, and simple. And they’ll even have other people claim that it was that way.

Yet…

You’ll almost never see the “specific details” of what it took them to get there.

I’m quite familiar with this because I see it all the time in the personal development industry…but you’ll see this just about anywhere you look.

You’ll get general information from people but how often do you get the specifics of how they got those results?

Rarely…unless you ask…and you still may not get a straight answer.

Well guess what?

This is the same type of thing that is running your life unless you get down to the “nitty gritty” of it all…getting the specifics…because it’s these “details” that are the driving force of the results you and every other person gets.

And it’s the absence or consistent presence of them that’s necessary if you want to live the type of life you’d love to live…whatever that is for you.

There’s a saying that goes…

“Unless you plan the details of your life, someone else will plan them according to the way they want, and you’ll be living their life instead of your own.”

And unless you make it a daily habit of paying attention to the details, you’ll end up
living the details of someone else’s life.

It’s all about the “details” and it starts by getting the “specifics.” And even though it may seem messy at first, the specifics are terrific because they bring with it the many rewards you seek in your life…with one of these being the truth.

However…

There’s something to be aware of when it comes to this.

2. Truth be told

There’s something fascinating that takes place when it comes to discovering the truth. In fact, it’s actually a paradox. People want the truth but at the same time they don’t want to hear the truth unless it plays into their fantasy.

And the fantasy I’m referring to here is that of a one-sided result…such as wanting more happiness than sadness, more pleasure than pain, more praise than criticism, and so on.

This is not the truth because the truth involves seeing both sides equally…rather than more of one side than the other.

So what does this have to do with knowing the specific details?

It’s in the “specifics”…the “details”… is where you get both sides equally. There’s no escaping this…but most people try by dodging the “details” and craving the “general.”

This is what happens when you have someone marketing and trying to sell you something. They’ll sell you the “hope” (in the form of general information) of what can be achieved rather than the specifics of what it really takes.

Why?

Because it makes it seem “easy”, “fast”, “simple” and therefore dodging the equal amount of both sides you’ll get along the way of what those who succeeded actually went through.

Therefore…

The details won’t be mentioned because most people want the one-sided fantasy rather than embracing the details and the fact that you’ll always get both sides when paying attention to the specifics and details. Because if most people get the details of what it takes they’ll have a high probability of giving up.

This is the thing to be aware of that I spoke about earlier.

So the obvious question here is, “What can you do to change this? What can you do to want to crave the details and specifics so you can take control of your life?”

First, always make it a point to ask what the “specifics” and “details” are that’s involved. This way you get the full picture and the truth of what it takes.

For example…

Let’s say you’re currently struggling financially. Finally after looking around you come across a program you feel can help you. While checking this program out you see all the testimonials of others who got the results they wanted. As a result, you decide to sign up.

Now unless you make it a point to question those results by asking for the specifics…the details…of what else was involved and contributed to how people got those results, you won’t get the full picture and have a high probability of not getting the same type of results.

The second thing to be aware of is…are you willing to go through whatever it takes?

Because again, you’ll get both sides along the way…the praise and criticism, the people liking and disliking you, the pleasures and pains of what’s involved….equally.

And this involves loving whatever it is you’re looking to accomplish.

When you can say “I love” doing this, “I choose” to be doing this, and “I’m inspired” by doing this, instead of saying “I have to”, “I’ve got to”, or “I’m supposed to” be doing this…you’ll then embrace both sides equally and be willing to go through the specifics and details involved.

As a result…

You get to see the neatest part of all…a lifetime of rewards…and two in particular.

3. Ruler of your life

Let’s revisited the quote I shared earlier…“Unless you plan the details of your life, someone else will plan them according to the way they want, and you’ll be living their life instead of your own.”

This brings up what happens as a result of paying attention to the “specifics” and “details”…

The lifetime rewards you get

…and there’s two of them.
The first one I spoke about earlier…discovering the truth.

The second one is secretly contained in the quote you just read. I’ll now reword it for you…

“When you plan the details of your life, you plan them according to the way you want and you’ll be living your life instead of somebody else’s.”

This is what allows you to be the ruler of your life.

And it all starts here…

Because all of the different lifetime rewards you get…whatever those mean for you…centers around you planning out the way you want your life to be. And it all starts by paying attention to the “specifics” and “details.”

Your relationships…your financial destiny…your career…your physical health…your mental state of mind…and even the people you choose to associate with…ALL have to do with planning out the details.

Now I understand this may sound like a lot of “work” at first…

But the most inspiring and fascinating part of it all is…even though at first it may seem like it takes more time and work…that upfront effort you put in actually saves you far more time overall than if you were to try and take the so called “quick”, “fast”, and “easy” way out.

Not only that…but it can and does add more quality time—years—to your life.

Yes, I realize that at first you may be asking, “how”…”How do I know what the details are of the way I want my life to be.”

This goes back to something I’ve said many times…

“When you have enough ‘whys’ of what you’d love to have, the ‘hows’ take care of themselves.”

This is what allows you to steadily and consistently plan the details of your life.

And once you get into the habit of doing this the more natural it becomes for you because when it comes naturally for you…

That’s when it’s heartfelt…that’s when it’s real…and that’s when you know you’re living your truth instead of a lie that is really disguised as someone else’s truth.

And this is the most meaningful of those lifetime rewards I spoke about earlier…

Because it allows you to be real…

It allows your uniqueness to be seen…

It allows you to shine…

And it gets you to show the world how valuable of a person you are…while helping others do the same in their lives.

Have you ever wondered how just a few words can make a big difference in someone’s life?

It could have been something you said that transformed someone else’s life.

It could have also been something that someone said to you which transformed and impacted your life.

Now think for a moment…

What about all of the people out there who you know (and possibly even those you don’t)…what are they saying about you?

Here’s something very interesting which is quite often overlooked.

The people who achieve the most wealth in any area of their lives (spiritual, mindset, career, financial, family/relationships, social, physical) will endure an equal amount of positive and negative, and this is certainty true of what others say about them.

Taken a step further…

If you are looking to make a large impact on the world just know that the larger the impact you make the more you’ll have people both praising and criticizing you.

Take a look in your own life and you’ll see it. For example, let’s say that you want to make the biggest impact in your family, just know that you’ll get an equal amount of support and challenge, pain and pleasure, etc.

This is true in any area and along with it comes people who will take on both sides, the positive and negative.

This ties right in with your vision and how big (or small) you want to play in the world.

How far are you willing to embrace pain and pleasure or support and challenge?

Because the magnitude of support and challenge you can endure will determine the evolution you can handle.

If you can’t handle 1 billion people disliking you then don’t expect 1 billion people liking you. A leader must be able to handle both of those paradoxes. If you want 1 billion people liking you but don’t want anybody disliking you…then if all you can handle is 10 people disliking you, then that’s the size you’ll go.

Now for you it may not be 1 billion people. Again it all depends on the size of your vision. Just know that as long as you are willing to embrace both sides equally, you’ll achieve the level of success to that degree.

So be humble to all of the praise you receive and thank those who praise and support you.

Be thankful for those who criticize you and use that as feedback to grow.

And know that both sides are there to wake you up to your own brilliance.

When you are aware of this you grow and your magnificence will shine.

In fact you are already a special person with so much value to contribute to the world.

There’s something still taking place right now that most people felt has been over with since the 1940’s…a world war.

Even though World War 2 ended in 1945, there’s been a world war going on ever since…

And it’s been cleverly disguised to most people.

No, it’s not World War 3.

It’s an ongoing “tug of war” that can lead into the type of war people think about…while at the same time creates the type of peace people seek.

And naturally it has to do with two opposing sides…

Lying versus Truth.

More specifically…

It involves what happens during the path of going from lies to truth and what people do along the way.

And this very thing occurs whether we’re talking about a world war, your relationships with others, and even the relationship you have with yourself.

At the root of it all is another well-known “F” word…fear.

Because it’s the fear of what happens when the truth is discovered. Even though most people don’t think about this consciously when it comes to the truth this fear is there.

Along with that it is at the very core of who you are.

There’s a quote that says…

“I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I’m not.”

Your ability to live this quote is vital if you’re looking to live a meaningful life where you feel respected, appreciated, and recognized for who you are and all you do.

Most people do not because they fear the truth.

So the question is…

What scares people about the truth

…And what can you do to go beyond this while having the courage to live according to truth?

1. Knee jerk reactions

There’s a well-known quote by Schopenhauer that says, “All truth passes through three stages. First it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.”

When you look closely you”ll see this occurring in every situation that involves people on opposing sides of lying vs. truth.

Now of course it will be more obvious in some situations versus others.

For example…

There was a point in time in the world when people were physically threatened (and some even executed) for believing things such as the world is round. The same was true of people who claimed that the Earth moves around the sun.

Of course what we know as truth today at one time was considered a lie.

And this type of thing occurs in every person’s life to some degree.
In fact, it’s very much involved when it comes to discovering the truth about who you are.

Think about it…

How many times have you found yourself saying, “I don’t know what I want” or “I don’t know what my purpose is?”

Anytime someone says this they’re lying about themselves…because the only way someone can say they don’t know what they want is if they’re comparing it to what they do want.

But they’ll say they don’t know what they want for fear of being ridiculed by others (quite often by family members)…and for fear that some perceived “violent” occurrence will take place (“If I follow through on what I’d love to do people may threaten me in some way”).

At this point one of two things will happen…either the person will “break through” and as a result follow through on what they’d love to do and live their truth…

Or…

They’ll live according to what others say they “should”, “have to” and are “supposed” to be doing…hence living a lie.

Therefore…

Whether you’re talking about someone else or yourself there’s still those different types of “knee jerk” reactions that are experienced when transitioning from lies to truth.

And this is the fear that’s involved and what scares people about the truth.

Furthermore…

This gives rise to something else that you (and anyone for that matter) experiences throughout your life…being accountable and responsible.

And the same thing is true here. First it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed.

Third, it is accepted as truth.

You’ll see this with people who get and expect “handouts” or “freebies” from others…and when the person giving the “handouts” and “freebies” stops giving them they’ll be that “knee jerk” reaction from those who were conditioned to be getting them.

Interestingly, this is what commonly happens when raising your children.

So what it all comes down to is to realize you’ll see this on a regular basis throughout your life…and to understand it’s healthy and a natural part of life.

This is what helps you, I , and every human being effectively grow (and mature).

It’s the driving force behind discovering the truth about who you are and the world around you.

This leads to something else about the truth, especially when dealing with other people.

2. The deception and perception of truth

Another part of those “knee jerk” reactions of fear you’ll see is when someone gives their own interpretation of the truth. This is also known as “distorting” the facts…and of course you’ve seen this numerous times from people (and even yourself) throughout your life.

How may times have you seen someone “make stuff up” about a person and/or a situation? It’s happens regularly throughout your life. And the reason for it…they’re scared of the truth.

As a result they’ll make up what they perceive is the truth.

Now of course there is a fine line here…because after all you can have ten people look at a person and/or a situation and you have a high probability of getting ten different versions of it.

So in this case who is telling the truth?

It can be said that one’s truth is based on their own perception of it…and in many cases this ends up being someone’s “justification” of the truth.

However…

It still comes down to getting the facts straight and knowing that there are Universal Truths that apply to all people.

And what are these Universal Truths…

It’s knowing that we all live in a two-sided world. This is realizing that every situation has equal amounts of “positive” and “negative”, along with equal amounts of “benefits” and “drawbacks” to it.

It is also the knowing that all people are two-sided…they are equally “happy” and “sad”, “nice” and “mean”, “giving” and “taking”, “kind” and “cruel”…and that each of these will be needed in certain situations to help others, even though it may not seem like it in that moment.

Why is this important in your life?

Because it takes you out of the “fantasy” of living a one-sided life that leads to the emotional baggage that weighs you down and holds you back…

And brings you into living a life of truth where you embrace both sides of other people, situations, and especially of who you are.

What happens as a result?

You live your life’s purpose. You be your authentic self. You’re less reactive and more proactive. You feel confident and certain about yourself and the different situations life throws at you…

And you discover the greatest gift of all.

3. Loving me, loving you

The third stage that truth passes through in Schopenhauer’s quote is, “It’s accepted as being self-evident.” Said another way…it’s realizing the truth…and one that was there all along.

Now you may be wondering why someone couldn’t realize the truth of something (or someone) that was staring them in the face all along.

It is because they were living according to the one “F” word—fantasy—that led to living a life of the other “F” word—fear.

So what does this have to do with discovering the greatest gift of all in your life?

Because once you “crack” the fantasy that life isn’t one-sided…and embrace both sides…you discover two things:

One…in every crisis there’s a hidden blessing. This guides you to finding the “order” in the chaos. And it’s these ongoing “wars” you experience throughout your life that are designed to benefit your life.

And two, you discover the truth of who you are and in the process appreciate and love yourself for who you are.

As a result…

People will also appreciate and love you for who you are.

Yes, you’ll get some people that won’t no matter what you do.

But it doesn’t matter because when you’re willing to embrace the truth you’ll bring the people into your life that will in some way embrace it as well…

While at the same time those who don’t will drop out of your life.

This is the natural flow of life and it’s healthy.

Remember…

Anything you try and run away from is something you’ll run into. And it’s the same with those who are scared and run away from the truth…

Because those who do will keep drawing in to their lives the things they don’t want.

Whereas…

Those who face the truth have a high probability of bringing in to their lives what they seek…to include the people that appreciates them for who they are and all they do.

And since you’re reading this you are that person…

The one who is destined to live your truth…

The one that was put on this earth to be loved for who you are…

The one who does matter and makes a difference…

And the one who does it in a way that is truthful while helping others do the same…

By having the courage to be your magnificent self.