Beliefnet
Because This Is Your Life

It’s been said that sometimes big things come in small packages.

It can also be said that at times small things come in big packages.

And this is certainly the case as it relates to your life.

The only thing is…

When can you expect each to come up?

Because as you know life can be unpredictable at times.

However…

It can also be predictable during certain moments as well.

And this is especially the case if your life right now is not where you want it to be.

It becomes a familiar theme…right?

You have those predictable days that you would like to do without…such as the job you may want to get out of…or those bills that keep coming in the same times of the month.

And then you have the unpredictable stuff that comes up…more of the bills you didn’t expect…a relationship that suddenly took a turn in a direction you didn’t want.

In either case it still comes down to situations you don’t want to be in…and those you’d love to change.

Which brings up the question…

What would you give to turn your life around?

1. Round round turn around

For many years I believed in the idea that “what goes around comes around.” This gave way to the idea of what I thought at the time as karma…”good” karma and “bad” karma.

And then I became much wiser and realized the illusion that karma really is.

This led into…not only my current mindset…but the way the world actually functions…and that is in a two sided manner.

So instead of so called “karma” and “what goes around comes around” what’s really going on is this…

“Nothing good ever lasts and nothing bad ever lasts.”

And when you understand what this all means you’ll realize that “good” and “bad” are situational…

Along with the fact that every situation in life has two sides to it…and that they occur at the same time.

Now what does this mean to you?

If you find yourself in a certain life situation that you want to turn around, it comes down to knowing:

One…It won’t last forever…because nothing lasts forever.

And…

Two…seeing both sides of the situation equally allows you to not only avoid getting caught up in the extreme “highs” and “lows” which actually feed each other…

But…

You’ll be able to turn whatever that situation is around faster and more effectively.

How so?

Because you’ll have a higher probability of being less distracted while being more focused on what you’re looking to be, do, and have in your life.

And this in turn paves the way for those sometimes unforeseen breakthroughs that occur when you least expect it.

This sets the stage for turning your life around.

Here’s the next part to it…

2. Risky rewards

It’s obvious as to why you’d love to turn your life around…because you want to be rewarded and enjoy your life. That’s a fair thing to say about every human being…right?

Yet…

It’s in the pursuit of those rewards that most people often forget about the one thing that actually makes those rewards show up in your life…

Taking risks.

And not just any random, out of control, reckless risks.

What I’m talking about are taking “healthy risks.”

The type of risks that push you out of your comfort zone.

And these can range from “breaking the ice” and starting up a conversation with a “stranger”…all the way to contacting someone who is well known and asking if they could help you out in some way…and every thing else in between.

What it comes down to is this…

The bigger the rewards you’re looking to have…the more “healthy” risks that are involved.

The more you embrace this and make it a habit in your life, the higher your probability of turning your life around…and in a faster time.

And a good way to start getting into this habit…start small.

I mentioned before about going up to a complete stranger and starting a conversation.

This is a good example…then take it up a notch.

Of course this will vary depending on what your situation is and what you’re looking to achieve.

The idea here is to do something that at first feels uncomfortable and build your way up.
It’s like when you first start working out in a gym.

You’re not going to lift heavy weights the first day because you’re likely to get injured.

You start out small and build your way up gradually.

Well it’s the same thing here.

Start out with small “healthy” risks…gradually increase them…and certainly make sure that it benefits all involved equally.

3. Saving your soul

Answering the question, “what would you give to turn your life around” without a doubt includes knowing what it is you’d love to do…also known as knowing what it is you want.

Yes, I know it sounds simple…and cliche.

Yet…

It’s still at the forefront of what it takes to turn your life around…

Because when you know what you want…and you’re doing what you love…you’ll do what it takes…travel any distance, and pay whatever price to achieve it.

Living this way is being “soul driven.”

And it includes embracing both sides of life equally…the praise and criticism, support and challenge, people liking and disliking you. And the “bigger” or more successful you get…the more of each side you get.

In fact…

This reminds of the quote…

“I’d rather have the whole world against me instead of my own soul.”

I’m not sure who said this, but it’s meaning is right in line with what you’re willing to do to turn your life around.

There will be times when people are going to question you…and possibly even doubt you.

Yet…

It doesn’t matter.

Because when you’re true to who you are…and you’re following what it is you were put on this earth to do…

Not only will you have saved your soul…

You’ll also rise and shine…and be the magnificent person you are…being YOU!

This in turn allows you to pass the torch to others so they too can be the magnificent person they are.

Remember…

You never have to give up any part of who you are in order to love and appreciate yourself.

And…

You never have to expect others to give up any part of who they are in order to appreciate and love them.

You do owe it to yourself to be the brilliant person you are…through the uniqueness of who you are.

As difficult and challenging as things may appear to be sometimes, it is in most cases something which seems very simple and not obvious which makes all the difference.

This is also true as it relates to your life and how it plays out.

The difference between “success” and “failure”, moving forward and moving backwards, along with living the type of life you want versus living your life in desperation, comes down to what seems like those “little big” things, which aren’t so obvious at first.

Today, I’d like to speak about one of these “little big” things.

In fact I’ll even say that this is something which is a very big thing, but on the surface may not appear to be.

What I’m referring to is,

“Are you motivated or inspired?”

These may seem like a choice of one or two words and on the surface they are.

However there is a big difference between them and it is this difference which can and does shape the way your life and beyond plays out.

1. What language do you speak

Simply stated, people who are motivated need outside influences to get them to do something which isn’t high on their values or important to them. People who are inspired rely on their own inner vision and are living according to their own values or what is important to them.

How can you tell if you’re motivated or inspired?

You can start by listening to your own language. Anytime you’re saying, “I have to”, “I’m supposed to”, “I’ve got to”, “I should”, and other similar phrases, it is a clear sign of doing something that isn’t of high importance to you, even though you may say it is.

As a result you’ll also find yourself saying, “I can’t”, “I’m not”, “I don’t know” most of the time.

This is the language of someone who is “trying” to be motivated.

Conversely, when you’re saying, “I love to”, “I’m inspired to”, “I’m blessed to”, and “This is what I’ve always dreamed of doing”, it is a clear sign of doing something that is most important and true to you.

As a result of this languaging you’ll find yourself saying, “I can”, “I am”, and “I know” most of the time.

This is the language of someone who is inspired and on track to doing what they love.

So which language are you speaking?

2. Action reaction

When you’re motivated you’ll have a tendency to react and when you’re inspired you’ll have a high probability to act. The difference between these two is that one involves taking “any action” (motivation) and the other involves taking “inspired action” or as I like to say, “action that matters.”

Those who are taking inspired action take the time to plan out the details of what they would love to do. Even if they don’t know all of the details at first or the exact “how”, they’ll still have a plan that is driven by inspiration and they’ll refine and fill in more of the specific details along the way.

What counts the most here is that whatever it is that you’re doing, to make sure it is driven by inspiration rather than motivation.

People who are inspired will do whatever it takes to achieve what they would love to be, do, and have. People who are driven by motivation have a high probability of giving up at some point.

3. The two sides of an inspiring life

The people who live the most inspiring lives are the ones who expect and embrace both sides equally. They know that they’ll be equal amounts of support and challenge, pleasure and pain, ease and difficulty, in pursuit of their purpose. This also includes having people who will like and dislike them equally.

The inspired person is also someone who is both happy and sad, nice and mean, giving and taking, while also being a saint and a sinner.

People who are inspired are poised, present, patient, powerful, and are living their true purpose. A big part of this has to do with realizing that each person is two sided and that we all live in a two sided world.

And this of course applies to you as well. There may be days when you “lift” yourself up and then there are days when you’ll tear yourself down. In fact every human being cannot build themselves up without also simultaneously putting themselves down.

Is that a bad thing?

Of course not.

This is yet another aspect of what makes up the magnificence and brilliance of who you are.

It’s also involved in guiding you to realize the tremendous amounts of value you have to offer the world through your uniqueness.

Regardless of where you’re at in your life right now, you can certainly turn it around and go in the positive direction.

It is a matter of living your life from inspiration and as strange as it may sound FEAR, with FEAR meaning…

Feeling Empowered And Ready.

Now is the time for you to be ready and take that next empowering step in your life and fulfill your inspired destiny.

A man left work in the late afternoon on a Tuesday.

He got on the subway train for his usual one hour and ten minute ride home.

On this particular day he thought he would catch up on some work. So he pulled out a proposal he’s been working.

Since the subway train was about 90% full he felt it was a good time to do this, being that the other people on the train were just relaxing after their day.

Well…almost everyone.

No sooner than ten minutes after he gets on the train, he finds himself sitting next to another man and his two children…a seven year old boy and a five year old girl.

While the man was working on his work proposal the two children were going back and forth with each other…fighting and arguing about who knows what and making all kinds of racket.

At first the man ignored it but every time he went back to his thoughts, they were shattered by the screeching and yelling of these two kids.

The man looks over at the father of these two children and he saw nothing but a stoic look on his face…it looked like he was totally oblivious to his own children.

While sitting there the man is thinking, “This guy has some nerve. His children are out of control and in a public place no less. Who does this guy think he is. He’s supposed to be a parent and not only doesn’t he care about his kids, but he doesn’t care about the other people on the train either.

What an inconsiderate person who couldn’t care less about others…who obviously doesn’t respect others…and who only appears to care only about himself.”

Finally after about 15 minutes of this the man turns to the father of the children and says…

“Look buddy, how about showing some consideration for others. I don’t know what it’s like at your house but how about showing a little respect for everyone here. We all have tough days too…but we don’t feel like listening to your screaming kids all the way home while you just sit there.

How about being a responsible parent and teach your kids some manners!”

The father then slowly turns his head to the man and in a soft sincere voice replies…

“I’m sorry. We’re coming from the hospital where their mother (my wife) just died. I’m not sure how to deal with it. I guess they don’t know how either…”

Now I’m sure you’ve found yourself in this type of situation before. Maybe not having it involve the passing away of someone…

But certainly having it where you passed judgment about someone at first, only to find out later that there was more to it than you prematurely thought…and with it the truth.

And what was the cause behind this every time…

Getting all the facts straight.

…Which leads to the question:

“What are the facts of (your) life?”

1. The sacred “C” word

As humans it’s only natural to get caught up in the moment and this of course works both ways…during perceived positive moments as well as during perceived negative moments.

And it’s especially during those so called “negative” moments that premature judgments of others (and even ourselves) shows up.

When this happens two things are taking place…

One, the facts are being ignored (and the truth is distorted). And two, the sacred “C” word has all but been eliminated.

The word I’m referring to is “Caring”…

Think about…

How many times have you been in a situation when someone accused you of doing something that you know you didn’t do. Let’s say they accused you of not caring because they saw you not exerting any effort when they asked you to help them with something.

But let’s also say that you were feeling sick that day and were not up to it…which is why you didn’t put any effort in.

So what ends up happening…the other person labels you unfairly and thinks you don’t give a damn.

And the reason they feel this way…

Because they didn’t take the time to “care” enough to get all of the facts straight.

As a result…

They made a statement about you out of ignorance…which means they “ignored” the facts and didn’t take the time to “care” enough to get all of the facts straight.

This is what took place with the guy on the subway train when he accused the father of being inconsiderate…

This is what takes place when someone erroneously accuses you of something you know is not true….

This is something that takes place on a daily basis throughout the world…

And this is something that comes down to “caring” and taking the time to care enough to get the facts straight.

Therefore…

The next time you’re about to make an assumption be sure to get the facts straight…and I mean to get them straight.

Remember…

This isn’t about your opinion that may be based on a one sided fantasy of how you want the world to go. It’s about seeing both sides while also taking the time to care enough to get the facts straight.

And it works the other way as well.

For example…

What happens when someone accuses you and makes statements out of ignorance because they didn’t get the facts straight…how do you deal with those situations when they come up throughout your life.

Let’s take a look at that now.

2. Hidden agendas, open hearts

No matter how much someone may deny it, every person has some type of agenda…and quite often a hidden agenda. Along with this is the fact that behind every action a person does there’s a reason for doing it…otherwise they wouldn’t be doing it to begin with.

And this is right at the core of when it comes to caring enough to get the facts straight.

Whenever you find yourself in a situation when someone else is accusing you of something that you know isn’t the truth—besides what I’ve already said—they’re doing it because they have a fantasy of how things are “supposed” to be and not what it actually is. This is why they’re angry to begin with. The bigger their fantasy the more angrier they’ll be towards you and anything for that matter

This is when they’ll distort the truth to fit their own fantasy world view…and what happens?

Out comes the insults and unfair labeling…all out of ignorance…all out of not seeing the truth.

So what can you do when you’re on the receiving end of this?

The first thing to do is to “take a step back” and “take it in”…don’t react…especially if someone is attacking who you are as a person and even what you’d love to do in life.

Along with this, the wisest thing is to see the benefits of it all.

Some of these benefits may include…it’s testing your patience, it’s testing you to see if what you say you want is truly what you want, it’s testing you to see if you can deal with challenging situations when they come up, etc.

Remember…

There will be people—that no matter how well you do everything right—who will still give you “crap.”

And like I said earlier, it’s because they haven”t taken the time to care enough to get the facts straight…along with you not placating their childish fantasy.

When this happens it’s time to “shed that branch” in your life and let them go.

Whether this is a family member or not…it doesn’t matter. And also keep in mind that this person can also re enter your life at some point. Some won’t and will permanently stay out.

What’s important is that you “open your heart” to them, wish them well, and move on.

3. The factual truth

Quite often you’ll have people say something like, “Well the truth is according to my perception of what took place.” You’ll also hear people question others and say, “It’s the truth according to who?”

It’s interesting…

Most people will have a tendency to come up with what I’m calling a “convenient truth”…that is, the truth according to whatever appeases their agenda. You can also look at this as being a distortion of the truth.

However you want to look at it, it still involves getting the facts straight.

As a result…

You have what is called the “Factual Truth.”

Not only does this consist of getting the facts straight, but it’s also seeing life from a two-sided perspective. This is known as the Universal Truth. I’m also calling it the Factual Truth.

It’s the real truth…not the truth according to you but the truth according to what the real truth is. Of course these truths can change depending on the situation and certainly the facts that are involved.

Yet…

Every situation in your life and the people involved still consists of what the facts are…and that ALL situations are two sided.

When you realize this and “feel it” you live according to the facts of life…your life…and with it the ability to be the person you were put on the face of this Earth to be.

Not only that…

But other people will pick up on it. And even the ones that will have a tendency to “push” and “test” you…they’ll sense this and have a tendency to back off.

And even if they don’t…you would have mastered how to “dance” your way through these situations, instead of struggling and limping your way through them.

These are the facts of (your) life…

And they’re here to get you to discover how magnificent of a person you are…

A person that does matter…

A person that is an important part of the world…

And a person that makes a difference by just being YOU!

There are two things going on in your life all the time and both are worldwide epidemics.

Not only that but they both feed off each other even though they’re the complete opposite of one another.

And what’s interesting about them is the fact that on the surface they seem like enemies…but many times actually work together while taking control of your life.

What I’m talking about is the “truth” and ‘lying.”

Now at first you would think that these two worldwide epidemics would be enemies of each other…and quite often they are.

When it comes to lying most people believe the truth is its enemy…and it is.

But what about the truth and its enemy?

You would think at first that the enemy of the truth and finding out the truth would be lying.

Yet, it’s not because there’s something else even though lying is a part of it.

So the question is…

“What is the number one enemy of the truth”

…And how can you defeat it and discover the different truths throughout your life?

1. Question me, question you

It can easily be said that the most important thing to have ever occurred in the history of the world since the beginning of time is progress. Because after all, for any civilization to “grow”, “expand”, and exist in a way that helps people…progress is necessary.

However…

There’s a major roadblock to progress just as there is when it comes to the truth. In order for progress to occur the truth needs to be there.

And just like there being an enemy to progress, the same can be said of the truth. They both have a common enemy. So what is this enemy?

The number one enemy of the truth…is…questions.

It’s fascinating…

Humans have always been taught to ask questions. Even as children this is what we’ve been taught and there’s a reason why…because it helps us learn, grow, expand, mature, and discover the truth.

Yet…

It’s still the number one enemy of the truth…even for the people who know well the importance of asking questions.

So, how can this be…and what types of questions are we talking about here?

In general, the types of questions that are the enemy of the truth are those that seek the specifics and details involved, along with getting the facts straight.

Look no further than what takes place in a court of law with attorneys asking questions and you can see why. Now, yes I understand that sometimes attorneys can “stretch things” with their questioning. But it’s still a good general example of how questions are the number enemy of the truth.

Here’s a more “real life” example and it starts with something I call backdoor vagueness…

How many times have you asked someone a question and their response was “shortly”, “In a little while”, “soon”, and so on?

Did their response leave you feeling unsure and having whatever you asked them seem more vague than before you asked them? Did it also leave you feeling like they were hiding something from you? Most likely so.

In these situations did you ever think as to question them further about what they meant by their vague responses? Most people don’t.

Here’s something else…

Have you ever wondered why people give these types of responses?

The reason…

Because it’s their way of avoiding the truth (it also involves worrying about what people will think if they told you the truth).

And what’s really going on is…they feel uncomfortable about the particular question you asked them and rather than be truthful about it, they’ll use an “escape hatch” so to speak in the form of giving these vague and incomplete answers of “shortly”, “In a little while”, and “soon.”

Now of course they’ll be times when someone can’t give you a definite clear answer…such as if you’re calling up a customer service line and they tell you to hold and the recording says that someone will be with you shortly. Legitimate situations like this and others do come up.

However (and even in these types of situations), they can still give you an approximation as to “when” instead of using the typical escape hatch known as “backdoor vagueness.”

The bottom line here is…

Most people don’t like (and feel uncomfortable with) being asked direct questions and will quite often do whatever they can to avoid giving a straight answer…they’ll rely on backdoor vagueness.

To them, questions are the enemy…because if they could have it their way they’d be perfectly happy and content if everyone they spoke with just nodded in agreement, went their merry way, and put on a smile while appearing to be happy.

Even though this is what happens most of the time, it still quite often “dodges” the truth.

This brings up the next part…

2. Shut up be happy

Whenever the thought of someone avoiding the truth comes up certain things come to mind…right? Think of the different situations you’ve been in when you just knew someone was not telling you the truth.

As these moments were going on what did you notice about them?

Did they appear to be “fidgety”, nervous, or was it just a weird vibe you got?

How about this one…

Did they smile and try to make you feel good…did they try and get you to be happy?

At first who would ever think that somebody who is trying to make you happy (and feel good) in some way…would also be the same person that is actually (and intentionally) avoiding telling you the truth?

But guess what?

Far too many times this is what’s going on. And the reason it’s going on is so they avoid you asking them questions…especially the type of probing questions that involve wanting to know the specific details and answers (along with the facts)…which ultimately leads to discovering the truth.

And by getting someone emotional—in the way of making them feel happy (along with quite often giving the illusion of hope)—that’s how people will try and avoid questions…the number one enemy of the truth.

Interestingly…

Most people are completely oblivious to this and never pick up on it at first…if ever at all.

However…

You’ll see examples of this all over the place…especially among big institutions.

Look no further than politicians, the pharmaceutical industry, the fitness and weight loss industry, and certainly the industry I’m in…personal development.

And it’s not limited to just these.

Naturally this is not to “pick” on these groups (and of course not everybody who does try and make you happy is doing this because there are many wonderful people who are sincere and do care). It is however my way of making you aware of what’s going on quite often “under ones awareness” so you can make informed decisions.

In any case…

It’s real. It’s going on most of the time. And it’s the same underlying theme each time…sell you happiness and hope so you become “emotional” enough to be distracted enough so you don’t ask questions.

And even though nothing is said on the surface in their mind they’re basically saying “Shut up be happy and don’t ask me any probing questions.”

Speaking of questions…the question here is…”What can you do about this? What can you do to detect this and then react appropriately?”

Well it goes back to what I’ve begun saying here and also always say…

“Ask questions…and know that you’ll get ‘both sides’ from people no matter what.

Meaning…

Take the time to get the facts—the specifics and details—about whatever it is you’re inquiring about…along with knowing that no matter what you do you’ll have people liking and disliking you, supporting and challenging you, being nice and mean to you equally.

Why is this important?

Because it will give you the courage while not being afraid to be direct enough with people to ask them the types of questions that gets the results you want…the types of questions that ask for the details and specifics so you can get the facts…which leads you to the truth.

Here’s something else to keep in mind with all of this…

Quite often you’ll be in these types of situations when dealing with authority figures. It could be your boss at work, your doctor, a service provider of some type, and possibly even a politician on some level.

And at first you may be thinking, “Well who am I to question these people because they’re an authority figure”, because after all most people are taught to listen to authority and that “They are the authority so they must know better than I do.”

This may be true…

Yet, it is still wise as long as the situation calls for it to question these people. It’s not disrespecting authority at all as long as you’re being sincere and not doing it just to “rebel” so to speak.

The bottom line here is…

When someone is sincere and truly cares—whether they’re an authority figure or not—they’ll be truthful. They won’t have to put up a “smoke screen” of happiness and hope.

Instead…

They’ll answer your questions in a specific and detailed way as long as they have all the facts involved.

Yes, most people seek happiness and for obvious reasons. But at the same time that very thing can and is used to sell fantasies to people in order to avoid answering the questions that leads to the truth.

So, what about the truth?

Let’s take a look at that now.

3. The Truth Manifesto

There’s a worldwide declaration that all human beings live under. It’s called the truth. In other words we all live, have always lived, and will continue to live in a world of truth.

Now at first most people will not believe this and it stands to reason because a day doesn’t go by without you hearing of someone and something taking place that involves lies of some sort. Despite this we still do live in a world of truth.

How do you know?

Because of the fact that every situation, every event, and every person has two sides.

Every situation and event has an equal amount of benefits and drawbacks/positives and negatives to it. And every person is two-sided…meaning that they’re equally happy and sad, nice and mean, kind and cruel, supporting and challenging.

It’s this equal balance of both sides that makes up the world of truth we live in. I call it “The Truth Manifesto.”

Even with this being said they’ll still be many people who won’t agree with it.

The reason why it doesn’t seem that way is because most people are projecting on to the world the fantasy of trying to live one-sided lives…trying to have more happiness than sadness, more support than challenge, more pleasure than pain, more peace than war (turmoil).

And it’s these one-sided projections that distort (and cover up) the world of truth we live in. This is also the exact thing taking place when it comes to the number one enemy of the truth…asking questions.

Because the people who are avoiding the truth do so by trying to sell you these one-sided fantasies—of happiness and hope—as a way of avoiding the type of detailed and specific questions being asked that leads to the truth.

In other words…

Certain people and/or institutions project the type of one-sided fantasies people want to hear so they (the people) get emotional enough to not ask the type of questions that the person and/or institution knows will reveal the truth they’re trying to hide…and quite often they’ll do so with a smile on their face.

It’s strange and rather ironic…

The number one enemy of the truth is also the number one ally of the truth…asking questions.

So, it’s up to you to make a stand.

It’s up to you to ask the types of questions that shows you’re sincere and truly care about helping others, humanity, and certainly yourself.

This is all part of living your truth, which in turn gives others the courage and helps them live their truth.

It’s all part of The Truth Manifesto we all live under.

It’s also part of what makes up the magnificent person you are…

The person that matters and has a tremendous amount of value to offer the world by just being YOU.