Beliefnet
Because This Is Your Life

Here’s something that shouldn’t come as a surprise to you…

And that is the daily stress that occurs in your life.

Whether it’s going to your job you don’t like, your current financial situation which has you in survival mode, people you come across who push your buttons, or as some would say the “daily grind”, it is pretty much a guarantee that your day has stress in it.

Here’s something that may come as a surprise to you…

Even though you do deal with stress on an everyday basis, the fact is that stress in your life won’t go away…

That’s the “bad” news.

Now here’s the “good” news.

You can change the type of stress you come across. In other words, the most stressful events that you have in your life can be eliminated…

And along with that, you can have a new form of stress that comes into your life that can actually help you achieve whatever it is that you want.

So how can you do this?

Before I get to that just know that it comes down to answering the question…

“How well do you deal with stressful situations?”

1. The pressure cooker

Whenever we encounter stress there is almost always some type of pressure that comes along with it. Of course this occurs in varying degrees. Typically a very stressful situation also involves being in a high pressure situation.

Here’s something else that may sound very surprising and shocking at first…

Former baseball manager Tommy Lasorda has been quoted as saying, “Pressure is a word that is misused in our vocabulary. When you start thinking of pressure, it’s because you’ve started to think of failure.”

Therefore, whenever you are stressed out over something there is a sub conscious thought of failure in your mind…and this failure can range from the slightest of things all the way up to the extreme and everything else in between.

This is not a bad thing.

But rather it’s a feedback mechanism that is trying to give you guidance. This is what I was referring to earlier about that new form of stress that is there to help you achieve what you want.

Before I share that with you, there’s one more thing I want to discuss

2. The King of Cool

There’s a movie called the “Tao of Steve” which came out in 2000. The inspiration and name of this movie was derived from three guys named Steve who represent all the coolness and social poise that the character Dex seeks in the movie.

The three Steve’s are actor Steve McQueen (The so called King of Cool), Steve Austin (The fictional character who was the bionic man in the 1970’s series, 6 Million Dollar man), and Steve McGarrett (Who was the detective in the popular 1960’s show Hawaii Five-O).

All three of these Steve’s had one thing in common. They were known for being cool without even trying, effortless as some might say. In other words, the roles they played conveyed a feeling of maintaining poise in pressure packed situations.

They never got flustered or panicked even when the enemy was closing in on them. And as a result they attracted people who admired them because of how they handled very difficult and high pressure situations.

Ok, so what does this have to do with you?

It comes down to this…

It’s not the situation that you perceive as being stressful that counts, it’s how you deal with and react to that situation which does count.

Your ability to know how to deal with and handle what you perceive as stressful situations in a poised, present, and graceful manner will determine the level of success you achieve in any area of your life!

This is where you would eliminate that so called “bad” stress and bring in that “new” stress which can help you achieve what you want.

Let’s talk about that right now.

3. Stressings and blessings

Anytime you have a stressful situation in your life, just know that there are two sides to that situation. There’s a positive side and a negative side. If you see it as being stressful, you’ll see more negatives than positives in that situation. This is nether right nor wrong. it’s based on how you perceive it.

Your ability to know how to deal with stressful situations comes down to knowing this. When you find yourself in a stressful situation, look for the positive in that situation. At first you may not see it, but keep looking and you’ll find it.

Let’s now come back to that new form of stress which can help you achieve what you want.

Since you’re always dealing with stress in some way, when you are able to anticipate that stress in advance, you’ll be able to use it to your advantage.

Just know that no matter how a certain situation appears to be, they’ll always be some type of stress involved.

Whatever the situation is for you, look for that stress and see how it can help you.

For example, let’s say that you inherited a large sum of money. Now at first you may think that there’s no stress involved..but there is. You’ll have people asking to borrow money from you. You’ll have to pay taxes on that money. You’ll also be tempted to spend that money at will.

Even though these are new stresses you’ll now have, they are good ones. Why? Because it’ll get you to become more aware of how to deal with people “coming at you.” It will help you become more organized in how to manage your money. And the list goes on and on.

Once you know that in every stressing there’s a hidden blessing, and in every blessing there’s a hidden stressing, you are well on your way to actually reducing the amount of stress you encounter.

Remember the Tao of Steve…

Maintain your poise and coolness in difficult situations when they come up. And ideally prepare for them in advance before they come up.

The result…

You’ll be the King (or Queen) of cool and live the type of amazing life you deserve to live.

It’s one of the most frustrating feelings you can ever have…

You’ve done everything in your power to do the right things. You listened to what other people said you were supposed to do.

You even did what other very successful people claimed to have done…

But for some reason what you set out to accomplish didn’t go as planned…

On top of that you find yourself watching other people have the type of freedom based lifestyle you’d love to have.

And now you find yourself in a situation opposite of what you would have hoped for.

Then as the days, weeks, months, and years go by you wonder, How did this happen to me?” “How did I end up in this situation that I never planned for?”

Now you have the feeling that you’re trapped in what seems like a never ending cycle with no way out.

Not only is this one of the most frustrating feelings you can ever have…

But it also leaves you so flooded with overwhelm, it’s like you’re trying to bail out the Titanic with a shot glass.

So what can you do when it seems like there’s no way out?

1. Beware of trying to live a fantasy lifestyle. This is what actually puts people in the very situations they want to avoid. What do I mean by this?

Many people are promoting the idea that the purpose in life is to be happy. You’ll also hear people, especially the self help “gurus”, say that happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.

This is half true and is also the source of most people’s “suffering.”

We live in a two sided world.

Not only is seeking a one sided life (more happy than sad) draining and disempowering (and not possible), but it also stops you from living the type of life you’d love to life…

While at the same time leaving you in situations where you feel there’s no way out.

Anytime you try and live a one sided life (more positive than negative, more happy than sad, more joy than sorrow, more support than challenge) you’re living a fantasy lifestyle…

And this is the very thing that keeps people stuck without even realizing it.

By continuing to live this fantasy lifestyle you have a very high probability of finding yourself in those situations where you feel there’s no way out.

Therefore the wisest thing you can do is to realize that you need both sides of life.

And that in certain situations what appears to be negative is the very thing you need to break out of your current situation.

If right now you are in a situation where you feel there’s no way out, look for both sides of that situation.

For example, if you perceive that someone has betrayed you and this has left you in a very challenging situation, look to see who is supporting you both now and in the past.

2. What is your vision? Whenever you have a situation where you feel there’s no way out, another wise thing to do is to realize what your vision is.

Now I understand that when you’re in the “heat of the battle” and there’s millions of thoughts going through your mind, and you feel stressed, that the last thing you may be thinking of is, “”What’s my vision?”

This is actually one of the best times that you could go about creating your vision.

Why?

Because it gives you an opportunity to use your current situation to get in touch with the needs of others. After all, any vision of success you have is going to center around having a product, service, or ideas that serves ever greater numbers of people.

As a result you can use the experiences of what you’re currently going through to come up with that product, service, or idea that can help people.

And this is something you can also do when it seems like there’s no way out.

3. Of course one of the most popular questions is, “How long will it take?” We all want that magic answer of how long it will take to go from where you are now to where you want to be.

To answer this question I have good news and bad news.

The “bad news” is that no one really knows how long it will take. It varies depending on an unlimited amount of factors and is certainly different for each person’s situation.

The good news is that you can increase the probability of it being sooner than later.

The way you do this is to get clear on what is truly most important to you.

Because then you’ll put in more time and effort to something that is inspiring to you.

This in turn will decrease the amount of time it will take.

At first it may seem like things are going slower than you like.

But as strange as it sounds, the more time you put in initially, the faster you get to whatever your goals are.

No matter what is going on in your life right now there’s always a way out.

You can look for the quick, fast, and one sided way of doing things…and remain stuck and have no idea why.

Or you can take what seems like the “slow” approach by seeing the world from both sides and in the process get clear on what your vision is.

Not only is this the faster approach but it gives you a very high probability of getting out of any situation you may currently be in.

And along the way you’ll discover how brilliant of a person you are…and the tremendous amount of value you contribute to the world with your uniqueness.

It kept happening over and over again and at first it made no sense at all.

But once the harsh reality started to set in, the question of “why” kept coming up.

Perhaps you’ve had the same thing happen to you.

Each and every day you see other people succeeding…increasing their wealth year after year, having more time to do what they love most, living a freedom based lifestyle—while you’re still working at your same job, living in the same house, having the same bills you can’t pay keep coming in…and telling yourself that, “next year will be different…things will get better.”

But it’s not getting better.

And the most frustrating part is why.

Because after all, you see everyone claiming how quick, fast, and easy it is to live what they call “the life of your dreams.”

And while you see them apparently living that way, you feel like giving up.

But there’s two things you aren’t seeing that is going on…

First, they didn’t achieve all of their success in a quick, fast, and easy way. And second, the reason for all of their success had mostly everything to do with having incredible willpower.

Now if you’re looking to change your current situation around and go from where you are now to where you want to be, the question to ask yourself is…

“How much willpower do you have?”

1. The easy rider

I’m sure you’ve seen this before in some way or another…”How to build your business fast”, “Here’s an easy way to go from zero to 6 figures in one year”, “Manifest what you want with ease.” It’s quick, it’s fast, it’s easy. And the list goes on and on.

If you’ve been in a situation where you bought a product, joined a coaching program, or even heard someone claim how “easy” it would be…

Let me ask you…

Did you get the results “quick”, “fast”…and was it “easy?”

Perhaps to some degree you did—or it may have seemed that way at first—but once you started applying it into your life, it was anything but “easy”…right?

And once you saw that it was more difficult than it was made out to be, what did you do?

Did you stay with it and persevere…or did you give up?

As strange as it may sound the so called “easy” solutions that are out there actually end up being more difficult…

And even stranger than this is that it’s no more difficult than it is easy.

Huh?

Ok, so what does this have to do with how much willpower you have?

Simply put…

When you look for things to be more easy you’ll end up having less willpower because when the difficult part comes up you’ll be more likely to give up.

Versus…

When you look for an equal balance of ease and difficulty you’ll end up having more willpower which results in you being more likely to be more persistent and perseverant.

But wait there’s also something else.

2. Giving up giving down

Now of course I’m not telling you to go out and just look for everything to be difficult. I’m also not telling you to go out and be negative and pessimistic. What I am telling you is that no matter what you do, that they’ll be both ease and difficulty along the way…

And this is a good thing. Because it is through the difficult challenging moments that you get your greatest breakthroughs…

But only on one condition…well maybe two:

That you don’t give up AND that whatever it is that you’re doing is highest on your values.
In other words, when you’re doing something you love that is most important to you, you won’t give up, you’ll have more willpower. This is the difference between giving up and giving down.

When you give up, you’ll quit and say, “It’s not meant to be” or “I’m not lucky.”

But when you give down, you’ll go deep down within and say, “I’m staying with it no matter what”, “I’ll take on both the positive and negative in pursuit of my purpose”..
.
And in the process you’ll be more inspired.

And this is when you get that breakthrough. This is when you realize that the positives and negatives in your life serve a purpose and are there to guide you.

It’s also when you discover (and rediscover) your genius and magnificence.

3. A force of one

I’ve said many times that everything that shows up in the world consists of what you see and don’t see. And most of what you do see is caused by what you don’t see.

Now to some people this may seem “phoo phoo’ish” or “really out there” but it’s not. And the proof of this goes back to what I said earlier…

And that is, anyone you see as having a tremendous amount of success while increasing their financial wealth year after year…while living what seems like a dream life, not only put in a tremendous amount of time and effort to get there…

But they also had incredible willpower.

They went through the “ups” and “downs”, the increasing amount of support and challenge, people liking and disliking them, having happy moments and sad moments.

Now it may not appear this way to most people on the surface because most of the time you’ll only see the so called “positive” side…

But the reality is that behind closed doors, that which you didn’t see—the challenge, the people disliking them, the sad moments—was taking place AND was necessary AND was testing them to see how much willpower it would take for the success that you do see.

Because in order for you to have unstoppable willpower, it is incredibly important that you not only read what I say here but to apply it into your life.

Yes, we all want things to be easy, quick, and fast. That stands to reason.

Now I want you to think about this…

“The word easy would lose its meaning if not balanced by difficulty.”

And this…

“The word fast would lose its meaning if not balanced by slow.”

Now does this mean that getting the results you want should be a slow process to the point where it takes forever to achieve?

Of course not.

But just understand that sometimes by doing things “slowly” you get “faster” results.

Do you remember the old story about the tortoise and the hare?

It’s a story about how the fast moving hare (rabbit) ridiculed the slow moving tortoise.

The tortoise challenges the hare to a race. The hare starts off fast and leaves the tortoise in the dust while appearing to having an easy time winning the race.

But what happens along the way is that the hare was so overly confident he decided to take a nap during the race.

And by the time he awakes and races to the finish line he found out that the tortoise had passed him by and beat him.

Well, the tortoise in a sense had more willpower and was perseverant in the process even though he appeared to be slower than the hare.

So what seems like “slow” or a slow moving process on the outside, in many cases, is actually the fastest and quickest way.

That’s the point here…

Along with the fact that when you’re fulfillment driven and prepared for the ease and difficulty, you find out that achieving what you want does turn out to be easier than you originally thought. But only if you’re prepared and know how to handle both sides of the situation when they come up.

And this is the secret to having unstoppable willpower…

Along with realizing the tremendous amount of value you contribute to the world through the magnificence and uniqueness of who you are.

You see it with friends.

You see it with family.

It’s also there with your co workers.

You most certainly see it with personal development and self help “gurus.”

It’s on TV…

In your neighborhood…

Plus…

You see it all the time in the people you admire.

And strange as it seems…

You have it as well.

The most surprising part of all…

It’s the thing to look for that can work for you and turn your life around…or “blow up” in your face and turn your world upside down.

And it involves believing people.

Because no matter how you look at it, you’re in situations on a daily basis throughout your life that involve coming across people where you’re faced with whether to believe them or not.

So how can you tell?

How do you know who to believe?

1. Smiles, energy, and then what

Like it or not, the fact is that we all live in a world where someone is trying to sell something to someone else. And I don’t just mean when it comes to someone that wants you to give them money for something.

When you want to get your spouse or children to listen to you…and to do what you want..you’re in a selling situation.

When you ask your boss at work for the day off…you’re in a selling situation.

And even when you get yourself to do something you may not want to do…you’re in a selling situation to yourself.

You get the idea.

Now when it comes to other people trying to get you to do something…buy something…and to do what they want…of course they’ll use certain tactics to do so…especially during your first interaction with them.

And this is where that “it” I mentioned earlier comes into play…

The “smiles” and “energy.”

Think about it…

How many times did you (and I have as well) like someone and were compelled to listen to them more because you liked their smile and their “energy?”

And whether you’re aware of it…or want to openly admit it…the bottom line is that their “smile” and “energy” has a high probability of working.

Because after all this is a common occurrence with people you see on TV…with personal development and self help “gurus”…potential relationship partners…and anyone who tries to get you to buy from them.

And this is all cool…understandable…and certainly important because it shows (at least on the outside) that someone is sincere.

However…

This is only a small piece of the picture and there is another side to it.

And that other side is…”then what?”

What I mean here is…

Just because someone puts up a good smile and has what seems like “great energy” does that mean they are to be believed?

Sometimes “yes” and many times “no.”

So what else can you go by besides their smile and energy?

Enter “then what” and the pseudotruisms.

2. Pseudo truisms

As you already know there are two sides to every person, situation, and event…and the same is true for someone’s smile and energy.

Fact is…in order to know that you can believe someone you need something else to look for.

There’s actually two things here….it’s the “then what” and pseudo truisms.

And what I mean here is…

One, is the person “walking their talk?”

And two, are they trying to sell you a pseudo truisms…also known as a false construct…which typically involves an unrealistic fantasy.

For example…

Let’s take a personal development and self help guru that’s selling you on the idea that you can live a positive and happy life.

They’ll smile and give off great energy and will be believed…right?

However, are they living that positive and happy life? Of course not.

Because they…just like you and I…experience both sides of life…the happy and sad moments…the pleasures and pains…the supports and challenges.

Therefore…

The truth here is…they’re not walking their talk…but their smile and energy may have you think otherwise.

And when you look at any other situation when someone is trying to sell you something you’ll see this in some way.

So just know that no matter who it is and whatever “selling” situation is involved…that there’s always those both sides.

Yes, the smile and great energy is appealing and in many cases is seductive.

Yet…

It’s also quite often used to mask the “sellers” deficiencies in what they’re talking about and trying to sell you.

Now what this comes down to is…

What can you do so you know who you can believe?

3. Your world of make beliefs

Answering this question comes down to something I say repeatedly…and mention every week on my radio show…to even include the other hundreds of radio shows I’ve been on…and it’s this:

“It’s one thing to listen to and read what I’m saying…yet it’s another thing to take what you hear me speak about into your own life and have it work for you.”

In other words…

Don’t take my word for it…see for yourself.

Because the only way you can know for sure if what I’m saying (and this goes for what anybody else is saying and “promising”) is true and to be believed…is for you to find out for yourself.

Now of course there’s another part of this that is needed.

And it involves what I’m calling “your world of make beliefs.”

Meaning…

What you believe in…what it is that’s most important to you…that inspires you…that you “love” doing…are “inspired” to be doing…will involve embracing both sides.

This goes back to what I said earlier.

And also ties in with “how to know who you can believe.”

Because it all comes down to your beliefs…in who you are…what you want to do…what you’re willing to go through to achieve it…and who you’ll believe and not believe along the way.

Remember…

You’ll come across people in your life that will have your best interests at heart…and you’ll come across people who won’t.

And when you’re clear on who you are and what you’d love to be, do, and have…while embracing the “positive” and so called “negative”…even if you come across people that may have “fooled” you with their “smile” and “energy”…

Just know that these people were put in your life as feedback to get you to be true to who you are.

Yes, they’ll be times when you’ll believe someone and you’ll feel they “lied” to you…

And they’ll be other times when you believed someone and what was promised they delivered on.

However…

In both cases it still depends on you…

It depends on you being aware of your uniqueness…

It depends on you being true to yourself…

Because when you do…and you realize how valuable and important of a person you are in this world…you see the blessings in every crisis…along with the crisis in every blessing.

These are gifts that get you to realize how needed you are in the world…

By just being the magnificent you.