It’s something you do every day from the minute you get up until the moment you lay down and go to sleep…
And everywhere else in between.
Not only that but this is something that makes the difference between living a life of what seems like never ending struggle, uncertainty, and doubt…
Having greater peace of mind, greater self confidence, and being able to enjoy your life more—now and a lot more in the future.
This is also something that you’ve heard about thousands of times…
But never spoken about in the true way of how it can work to your advantage in any area of your life.
Do you know what this is?
Be aware that knowing what this is and how you can use it all starts by first asking yourself the question…
“What is the meaning of my life?”
1. Mission not passion- Knowing the meaning of your life starts by realizing if you’re following your passion versus living your mission. And the difference between the two is night and day. In fact, it’s also the difference as to whether you live the type of live you’d love to live or not.
Most people believe that following their passion is the key to achieving the type of life they’d love to live.
But guess what?
The actual meaning of passion is the opposite of what it was originally intended to be.
Therefore it is unwise to follow your passion.
So you’re probably thinking, “what in the world is Chaney talking about?”
Here’s the truth behind it all…
The original meaning or etymology of passion means to suffer…ungoverned out of control suffering.
Of course most people nowadays see passion as what we all have come to know it as. And this came about because somewhere along the line someone changed the definition of it.
But what hasn’t changed is this…
Following your passion is one sided.This involves seeking more pleasure than pain, more support than challenge, more success than failure, more positive than negative, etc.
This is what I like to call trying to live a “fantasy lifestyle.” This is unwise to do and is the source of most people’s suffering.
The wisest way to live your life is to be mission driven.
When you follow your mission you’ll embrace pleasure and pain, support and challenge, success and failure, positive and negative…equally.
You’ll know that no matter what situation you encounter that both sides exist equally. They exist for a purpose. And the more of one you have, the more of the other you’ll have as well.
This is what I like to call living a “fulfillment driven lifestyle.”
What this leads to is living a fulfilled life rather than trying to live a happy life.
So just know that part of the meaning of your life is to be mission driven rather than passion driven.
And that the purpose of your life is not to be happy or successful, but rather to be fulfilled…
Because living a fulfilled life embraces the happy and sad, success and failure, both of which are necessary to live your mission and to do so in a healthy manner.
2. Connecting the dots- Here’s something I used to do that you’re either doing now or have done at some point in your life…and that is thinking, “what if I had done this” or “what if I had done that” my life would be different, I’d be better off.
Well guess what?
What you have done or not done in your life up to this point has served you in your life. Are you aware of that? Are you also aware that if the things you “wished had happened” or “not happened” that you may even be worse off than you are right now?
But here’s a pearl of wisdom that adds more meaning to your life…
No matter what you’ve done or not done still has both the positive and negative attached to it. In either case those situations both served and dis-served you in some way. Therefore you’re no “better” or “worse” off.
Take a look at the different moments in your life and start “connecting the dots” as I like to say. If the very thing you wanted to go your way did go your way, the outcome may not have been what you expected.
In fact there have been many movies, even though fictional, that show this. Back to the Future, Sliding Doors, and Running Against Time are a few that come to mind.
The point here is this…
Even though you can’t go back in time physically, you can perceptually. In other words you can always have those thoughts of “my life would have been different or better if “this” had gone my way.”
But once you connect the dots and see that everything in your life up to this point has served you and your mission…
You’ll have even more evidence as to the meaning of your life.
3. Knowing me knowing you- During the course of our lives we have relationships with thousands of different people. Along with that comes the many different memories we have. And what also comes with it are the so called “good” and “bad” days.
I use “so called” because in actuality each day is “good” and “bad.”
Think about a time when you had a “good” day. Then all of a sudden you had someone you know on that day say that their day was “horrible.”
Now look at it from the other end. Think of a time when you said you had a “bad” day. Then all of a sudden you had someone say they were having a “great” day.
In both cases each person is experiencing the “good” and “bad” of that day.
Well the same is true of memories of all the people and situations you’ve come across in your life.
Here’s something else to keep in mind…
The more you know other people, the more you get to know yourself. And the more you get to know yourself, the more you get to know other people.
This adds a tremendous amount of meaning to your life.
It gets you to see parts of yourself that you may not have been aware of. This is also why whenever you see someone as being mean and dishonest—that the only way you could see them that way is if you’ve seen yourself or others have seen you as also being mean and dishonest.
And it works the other way too.
If you believe that someone is beautiful and a genius–that the only way you could see them as being beautiful and a genius is if you’ve seen yourself or others have seen you as being beautiful and a genius in some way.
“What is the meaning of your life?”
Let’s now come back to what I mentioned earlier about something you do every day from the minute you get up until the moment you lay down and go to sleep.
And how this makes the difference between living a life of what seems like never ending struggle, uncertainty, and doubt…
Having greater peace of mind, greater self confidence, and being able to enjoy your life more—now and a lot more in the future.
In fact what this is, is contained in the word life.
You see LIFE stands for…
…and the word I’m referring to is Love.
But it’s not in the same way as you’ve heard mentioned thousands of times throughout your life…the romantic love.
Instead, love means that you’re surrounded by both sides of life 24 hours a day during your entire life.
This is why it’s with you from the minute you get up until the moment you lay down to go to sleep.
And when you become fully aware of this the meaning of your life suddenly changes and takes on a whole new meaning…
A meaning that gets you to see how spectacular and amazing of a person you are.
A meaning that gets you to realize the tremendous amount of value that you contribute to the world with your uniqueness.
And along with that being able to pass that meaning on to others so they can do the same in their lives as well.
Sometimes it happens when no one is around.
Sometimes it happens when everyone is watching.
It can occur in a place you expect…
Although it has a tendency to occur when you least expect it.
And as strange as it seems…
At times you may not realize it at first.
It’s likely you will know, even though you may not be able to exactly pinpoint it at first.
No matter how you find out about it, it becomes the pivot point from which your life—as you knew it and moving forward—is never the same.
And this has to do with those certain moments you experience in your life.
Now you may think I’m referring to your defining moment. In some ways…yes.
But there’s something else…and it has to do with you in that moment.
Naturally this bring up a question and one that you have the answer to, even though you may say you don’t right now.
And by the time you finish reading this you’ll have that answer.
First the question…
What moment defines who you really are?
1. Giving up or getting up- The moment still stands out for me. While I knew it applied to what I was doing at the time, I wasn’t aware that it would stay with me and be the driving force for the rest of my life.
And this all came about after being hit by a baseball traveling between 80-90 miles per hour.
Back in high school when I was 16 I went out for the baseball team.
I got into fitness and worked out for 4 months in preparation for the tryouts.
The tryouts were for 3 weeks.
You had to make two “cuts” to make the team.
I made the first cut.
When the day came for the final cuts and who made the team, the coach read off the names of the kids who didn’t make the team.
He read all the names…stopped…and since he didn’t read my name I thought I made the team.
Then he read off my name…and cut me.
In that moment he said, “you have more guts than anyone I’ve ever seen. Come out for the team next year and you’ll probably make it.”
I’ve shared this story before.
What I’ve rarely shared was the incident that likely led to him saying that…when I got hit with that 80-90 mile per hour baseball…the moment that defines who I really am.
When I got hit by that baseball…which was thrown by one of the upper class men who was an all county pitcher I was batting against…I went down.
It hit me in the one area that was unprotected…my ribs.
Yes, it did hurt.
Yet, I had no intention of staying down so I got back up and finished batting.
I ended up striking out…which bothered me more than getting hit.
And as simple…and maybe unassuming as this may seem…this moment spurred me on right to this very day to never give up.
It’s become my driving force to get back up instead of giving up…
Not only as it related to sports at that point in time…but to any situation in life where the thought of giving up or being persistent came into play.
I saw it from a “going out for the baseball team” perspective back then.
Since then, it has carried over into any event in my life where that crossroads came up…either keep persisting and be relentless or give up.
Now let’s talk about you.
Think back through your life.
What is the one moment that defines who you are?
It could have taken place yesterday, one week ago, 3 months ago, or 20 years ago.
Where did it take place?
Who was there?
Were you aware of it at the time? Were you partly aware of it at the time? Did you see it as one way when it happened and then saw more of the blessings in it over time?
And look to the different areas of your life…in your family, your social network, in your occupation…or anywhere. It’s going to be unique for you.
When you find it you’ll know…it’ll “click.”
Once you do there’s something else to be aware of.
2. The sounds of silence- After I got hit with the baseball I do remember 4 people that came to my aid…the pitcher who threw the ball, the catcher, and two of the coaches. I told them I was fine and continued to play.
Now even though 30-40 other people were there when this happened it seemed like I was the only one there…because it felt like one of those “silent moments” so to speak.
You know, that moment when things seem to be going in slow motion.
There were sounds of silence…even as I had those 4 people come to see if I was ok.
The reason for this…and why it didn’t hurt as much after I got hit with the baseball…is because I was so focused on my mission at the time…making the baseball team…that nothing was going to get in the way of it.
So I got back up and continued to play on…not just that day but every day since then.
When you look back on the moment that defines who you are, what was going on around you at the time?
Did it seem like the sounds of silence?
Was that moment frozen in time?
If other people were present…did you know who they were…were they cheering you on…were they cheering you on but you didn’t hear anyone?
Because whatever that moment is which defines who you really are, something magical takes place.
Now I can’t tell you what that is because it’s unique to you.
What I can tell you is that you’ll know when it occurs.
And even though the moment may seem like it’s in slow motion…or that you may not hear the people who are there…you’ll know all the details of what happened in that moment.
Then comes the next part…
3. Beyond the realms of reality- After you realize the moment that defines who you really are, what happened moving forward from that day onward?
What other areas of your life did it carry over into?
Because after I got cut from the baseball team I never played baseball again.
That entire experience…the coach cutting me and then saying what he did…and getting hit with that baseball…gave me the will to never give up in the other areas of my life.
This included challenging moments getting my business off the ground, when things seemed hopeless.
It carried over into my finances after I had my credit wiped out and most of my savings drained.
It helped me persevere during challenging situations in various relationships with others…to include my past marriage.
And it gave rise to another…often overlooked gift…dealing with people who don’t believe in you or what you want to accomplish.
I’m sure you know what I mean.
It’s when you hear people—sometimes family members and those closest to you—say, “oh that’s just the way it is, this is reality.”
This is what happened with me.
And having that one moment—getting hit by a baseball and then getting back up—define who I really am also allowed me to go “beyond the realms of reality” (which I call actuality).
What happened as a result?
It gave me the will to follow my vision and embrace both sides of life equally along the way…the joys and sorrows, the happiness and sadness, the pleasures and pains, the supports and challenges, the praise and criticism.
As you go through your life you’ll come across these moments as well. How you handle them determines what level of success you end up having.
When you realize what moment in your life defines who you really are, you’ll in some way gain this all important life skill and dictate your own destiny.
Involved in your destiny is realizing your magnificence and how special of a person you are.
And the more you understand the moment that defines who you really are, the more you’ll see it repeat in your life over time during different situations.
Along with that…
Others will see it as well.
They’ll see who you really are.
And they’ll also see what you’ve already realized about yourself…
How much of an important person you are and the tremendous amount of value you contribute to the world through the uniqueness of who you are.
It’s something that can leave you feeling lost in a bad dream…even though you’re not dreaming.
It’s something that can leave your body aching for days, weeks, or months…even though it’s one of the biggest blessings you’ll ever get in your life.
It’s something that is likely to leave you second guessing yourself and the decisions you’ve made…even though those decisions ultimately lead to another blessing in your life.
And it’s also something that has you thinking…
”How could this be happening to me”…
“What did I ever do to deserve this”…
“Why am I in this situation and what can I do to change it?”
“I can’t believe this is true.”
Now even though it may seem this way at first there’s another side to it.
Because at the same time…
It’s one of the best feelings you’ll ever experience…
Where you’ll feel like it’s a dream come true…
Where you’ll feel that warm “fuzzy” feeling inside that makes your heart sing…
Where you’ll have tears of gratitude.
And this is all because of one word…Trust.
The trust you have for another person.
And not just some casual, “yeah I trust this person” type of feeling.
I’m talking about a “deep trust” you would have for someone who ends up being a close friend, relationship partner, and even a family member.
Whatever the case is for you it still comes down to the same question…
“How do you know who you can trust”
1. Here today gone today- There are very few things in life—to the point where all the money in the world wouldn’t be enough— that you can’t put a price tag on. So few in fact that you can count them on one hand.
One of these is trust.
And more specifically…
Trusting someone to the point where you could literally put your life in their hands. Or said another way…the type of trust you’ve always dreamed of having with another person where they are true to you and their word day in and day out.
And most importantly it’s the “day in and day out” part that comes to mind.
In fact this brings up a quote:
“One lie in a matter of seconds can undo 25 years of telling the truth and with it the trust you have for someone. Be upfront and truthful because it’s much wiser to maintain your integrity.”
This is a quote that’s near and dear to my heart and one that I’m always thinking of whenever I deal with people…especially those closest to me.
With this also comes something that at first I never understood but now I do…why would someone ever compromise the trust someone put in them by lying and deceiving them?
Obviously there are as many different reasons for this as there are people. And of course you, I, and just about anyone you know has been on the receiving end of having someone that violated your trust.
There’s no avoiding this…at least at first.
So the question here (actually there’s two questions) is:
One…do you give someone who violated your trust a second chance?
And two…how can you tell early on after meeting someone if they’ll be someone who you can trust in the way you always dreamed of?
To answer the first question (and this goes back to the quote you read earlier) the bottom line is…when someone violates your trust the first time there’s a very high probability that they’ll do so again.
Of course there’s always exceptions but truthfully they’re far and few between.
This also goes back to something else you read earlier…about the fact you can’t put a price tag on how much having someone’s trust is worth. It’s one of those things that can be here today and gone today…and literally in a matter of seconds.
If you’re like me then you know it’s just not worth compromising. Instead, just be upfront with people and tell them the truth instead of going behind their back.
I know it sounds simple and really it is.
But the fact is that for most people it isn’t simple and even though they may know this…they’ll still violate your trust anyway.
When this happens, do you give them another chance? When it happened to you in your life did you give them a second chance?
I’m sure at some point in your life (and the same with me) you did give that second…or even third and fourth chance. And in every case I’m sure it turned out the same way.
And even though it most likely left you second guessing yourself and the decisions you made, even to the point where it left your body aching for days, weeks, or months…it still leads to two of the biggest blessings you’ll ever get in your life.
Before getting to that let’s take a look at the second question I mentioned earlier…about whether you can tell early on after meeting someone if they’ll be someone who you’ll be able to trust in the way you always dreamed of?
2. Sacred trust- There’s a certain magic—a mystical type of feeling—that you experience when you realize you’ve met someone that you know you can trust. It’s not one you’ll be able to plan out in advance. It’s also one that you most likely won’t be able to put into words at first. Instead it’s a feeling you’ll have…especially the first time you feel it.
This is what I call having a Sacred Trust with someone…
And it can only occur at a deep level. It’s a heart to heart connection you have with someone that is driven by a “deep feeling” where there is an inner knowing of “I can truly trust this person.”
Now the question is…
“How can you tell early on after meeting someone if they’ll be the person that you can have (and maintain) this Sacred Trust with over time…and in the way you always dreamed of having?”
To be truthful about it, there is no definite time frame in which you’ll know. In other words, you may meet someone and you’ll know within a month. With someone else you may have that feeling about them in six months, a year, or possibly longer It’s going to be different for you than it is for someone else.
Whatever the time it takes it’s still something that is earned…it’s still something that is a day in and day out habit over the lifetime of the relationship.
The deeper your connection is with someone…the more of that heart to heart connection you have with them…and the more you truly are “feeling it”…the sooner you develop that Sacred Trust.
This also brings up the question…
How do you know if you truly have that deep heart to heart connection with someone to the point where you can have that Sacred Trust with them…instead of that “Yeah I felt that at first with someone before but then they betrayed me anyway” feeling. I’ll discuss this in a minute.
But just know that even when you do have this deep heart to heart connection with them (like you read earlier) there’s still the day in and day out habit of proving that trust…and continually earning it.
This brings up something I’ve always felt for as long as I can remember…which is pretty much my entire life.
And it’s the thought of trusting someone, having someone trust you, why people violate someone’s trust to being with, along with what you read about earlier…Sacred Trust.
Over the course of my life I’ve spoken with and been around many people—to include those I was in relationships with—who had relationships that ended because they couldn’t trust the person based on events that took place.
And whenever they spoke about the details of what happened I would have visions of what they experienced…of what they went through when they put their trust in someone and that trust was violated.
I would see visions of someone who “gave it their all” to the person they felt they could trust. I would see visions of how they were true to this person.
There were visions of how they did all the “little big things” for this person. I had other visions of how they took the time to care enough about this other person and to be there for them.
After hearing these stories I could just “feel” how they felt when the person they were in a relationship with violated their trust. And the people I care about most…after hearing their stories I had visions of the sadness in their face, the tears in their eyes, and the immediate pain in their heart.
And hearing enough of these stories both early on and over time while continuing to have thoughts of what these people went through…somehow it has always driven me to make that day in and day out habit of proving that trust to those who put their trust in me.
And let’s face it…
I know for some people it may be difficult. I understand where people are coming from and what they’ve experienced in their lives. I realize that some people reach the point where they just lose all faith and trust in someone.
But I also know that all I can do is to just stay true to my word and live that promise I’ve made to both myself and the person I’m with.
What’s also fascinating here is that this also got me to understand why far too many people violate the trust someone put in them. And simple as it sounds it’s because they flat out don’t care.
Because when someone truly cares about someone else (along with having that deep heart to heart and soul connection) they’ll do whatever it takes on a day by day basis to be trustworthy. They’ll be mindful enough to put in the effort because the person they’re with is that important to them.
This is when there’s Sacred Trust.
And regardless of whatever has happened in your life…just know that there is ALWAYS somewhere out there who is the person you’ll be able to have this Sacred Trust with.
It’s just a matter of having them come in to your life. It’s having the right person…at the right time…with the right connection…along with it being a “deep feeling”.
Let’s take a look at that now along with those two blessings I mentioned earlier.
3. The heart and soul of trust- Back in June 2014 I was chatting with a guy in my gym who I would see on a somewhat regular basis. On this particular day he was telling me about his girlfriend and how he was texting her every four minutes.
He went on to say that the reason for doing this was because he wanted to know what she was always up to. I was able to tell by the way he was speaking that it had some awkwardness to it.
Being that I knew him I said, “If you’re having to text her every four minutes that tells you she isn’t the one.”
He paused for a moment and said, “I’ll think about what you said…and you know…we’ve kind of not been getting along lately and I’m not sure about where the relationship is going.”
The next time I saw him …four days later…he said the relationship was over.
I’m bringing this up because it has everything to do with trusting someone…especially in a relationship.
And it goes back to what it takes in having that Sacred Trust with someone…a heart to heart and soul connection with someone.
Because when you do you’ll be so connected that you’ll “feel” them to the point where you’ll just know you can trust them…and you won’t be “looking over your shoulder” wondering where they are, what they’re doing, or who they may be with.
Along with this…
You’ll feel at ease…you’ll feel a sense of peace.
This is the heart and soul of trust.
Now of course this isn’t something that will happen after a day or two of meeting someone. As you read earlier it’s something that you can “feel” early on with someone but is still something that is continually earned on a day in and day out basis.
To answer the question of, “How do you know that you have this heart to heart and soul connection with someone”…
There is no definite answer because it’s a “deep connection type of feeling” you’ll have with them. It’s not something you can “think” or try to intellectualize.
And especially, it’s not an infatuation type of feeling where you find yourself “hooked” on a certain trait(s) and things you like about them. It’s also not the type of feeling where you find yourself thinking about them 24/7 even to the point where you can’t sleep at night.
You’ll see (and feel) all of who you are in them while at the same time realize your own uniqueness. In a sense you’ll see the version of you in them…your mannerisms, the things you both like and dislike, along with that “feeling” I mentioned earlier.
It’s the type of feeling where you can “feel” them…to include feeling them being trustworthy.
When you know that you’re a trustworthy person to the point where you wouldn’t violate anyone’s trust in you…the person you have this heart to heart and soul connection with…they’ll be that person who won’t violate your trust.
After reading this you may be thinking, “Well I’ve trusted one person after another in the past and each time they let me down. I don’t trust anyone.”
This is a natural feeling to have and something I’ve had thoughts about as well when I sensed a possible relationship with someone I just met.
At first it left me feeling cautious and just not wanting to go through what seemed like “the crap” of past relationships…so I would take the “safe way” out and not get involved.
But after going through this enough times I came to realize one of the most valuable life lessons there is…
And it has to do with the two blessings I mentioned earlier.
4. The blessings of trust- If you’ve ever had a relationship end because someone violated your trust and it left your body (and your heart) aching for days, weeks, or months…this is the beginning of where blessing number one is.
What it means is that this person who violated your trust was not “the one” for you…even if this has occurred with twenty different people over the course of your life.
Yes, it may leave you wanting to not trust anyone. However, the true blessing in it all is the fact that it’s “weeding out” the people who aren’t right for you while at the same time leading to the person who is right for you…the person you’ll meet that you will have that heart to heart and deep soul connection with.
And like you read earlier…no matter what has happened in your life this person is ALWAYS out there…the person you can have that Sacred Trust with.
This is one of the biggest things that has helped me to knowing who I can put more of my trust in. Not only that but it has also helped me to easily detect those I’m not able to trust.
This leads to the second blessing…
Being able to make the right decisions without second guessing yourself.
I’m sure you already know and have experienced in some way…it can be easy at first to second guess yourself about someone…especially when it comes to meeting someone new…to revert back to past experiences and just not want to go through it all again.
But once you realize the first blessing I just mentioned it makes your decision making that much easier. Not only won’t you second guess yourself but you’ll have a much stronger “gut feeling” about someone new you do meet.
And as you already know, when you’re truly trusting your gut you’ll always make the right decisions…
The decisions that lead to having some of the best feelings you’ll ever experience…
The decisions that leave you feeling in many ways like it’s a dream come true…
The decisions that put you in situations where you have that warm “fuzzy” feeling inside that makes your heart sing…
Along with the decisions that lead to you having tears of gratitude.
And it all involves finding the people in your life who you can trust.
At first it may seem like these people aren’t in your life…but they are. And it’s likely you’ll meet these people when you least expect it.
However it plays out for you always remember…
No matter what has happened to you…no matter where you’ve been…no matter what anyone has ever done or not done to you…and no matter what you’ve done or not done…you’re worthy of love.
You deserve to be loved for who you are and all you do…
And by the people who sincerely care enough about you to be the ones you’re able to have that lifelong trust with.
You may have heard the saying that there are 3 guarantees in this world…Life, death, and taxes.
Now there are some people out there who may question the truth to that and say there aren’t any guarantees in life.
Today I’ll be sharing with you the one absolute guarantee that is in everyone’s life…
What I am referring to is that everyone has a journey. No matter how you look at it, your life is a journey.
The question is:
“How far have you come on your journey?”
One of the ways that you can know is to see how much change and transformation has occurred during the course of your life.
Along with this is embracing that change and transformation.
Many times people are afraid of change whether they admit it or not.
When you hear people say things like, “I wish it was like it was before” or “Those were the good old days and I miss those good old days” and other similar phrases, these are signs of fearing change. It is also a sign of having a fear of the future.
There’s nothing wrong in looking back at what has gone on in your past. The important thing to keep in mind is to be grateful for what has taken place and use that to move forward.
Here’s something else to keep in mind as it relates to your journey…
Your journey never ends and will always consist of experiencing both sides.
Many people feel that their journey only consists of what happens during their lifetime but the fact is that it continues even after you pass on.
This is what having a legacy is all about.
In actuality your legacy is involved in your journey and occurs both during and after your “physical” lifetime.
So when you look at how far you’ve come on your journey, be sure to take what occurs in your lifetime into consideration, along with how you want to be remembered.
People like Albert Einstein, Michael Jackson, Steve Jobs, and every other human being that has passed on are still on their journeys.
Even though your journey never ends, you can still evolve and grow further. So whether you are alive or have passed on, you can still realize how far you have come on your journey.
The other important factor involved in how far you have come on your journey has to do with your ability to embrace both sides.
We live in a two sided world. There’s peace and war, building and destroying, happy and sad, giving and taking, and all the other thousands of equal pairs of opposites.
The best way to have the most fulfilling journey possible is to understand that you’ll experience both sides equally during the course of your life.
The people who live the most fulfilling lives and enjoy their journeys most are the ones who embrace and are grateful for this duality in life.
These are also the people who realize the magnificence, brilliance, and genius of who they are.
Well the same is true for you.
Take the time to look at your journey and all that you’ve done, how far you’ve come, and how you can evolve and grow further from this point on.
This is worth doing because you’ll see how much you do matter in this world. You’ll see how you have served others and the world with all that you do.
As you bring this into your awareness and realize it, others will see it in you and you’ll be acknowledged for how amazing of a person you have become.