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Because This Is Your Life

Because This Is Your Life

The 2 Most Important Relationships You’ll Ever Have…

posted by cweiner

This may sound shocking to some people, and at the same time will be amazing and surprising to others…

But no matter how you look at it this is truly a gift in your life.

In fact, what I’m referring to is something that the entire human race was built on and continues to live by.

If you haven’t guessed by now, here’s what I’m talking about…

Relationships.

As each of us goes through our life’s journey we become involved in many relationships with others. While I don’t know the average exact number, I’d be willing to say it is easily in the thousands and most likely much more than that.

Look over the course of your life, to include present time and you’ll see that your life has contained nothing but one relationship after another.

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Now of course some of these relationships may have been seen as “good” while others may have been seen as “bad.” No matter how you look at each of them, the fact remains that your life is filled with relationships.

Now here’s the question…

“What are the most important relationships you’ve had?”

Out of all the relationships you’ve ever had there are two that are the most important.

The two most important relationships you’ve ever had is what I’ll be discussing in your weekly wealth tips.

1. You, yourself, yours truly- The first most important relationship you can ever have is with yourself. Most people when they first hear this may have a tendency to think that this means that all you care about is yourself. In other words, some people may think that this means you are “stuck up”, “conceited”, “all into yourself”, or any other related phrase.

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Growing up these were just some of the phrases I would hear people mention whenever they saw someone else appear to be “in love” with themselves.

I heard this quite often when I was growing. However these comments were not directed towards me but to a friend of mine who I used to live next door to. I never bought into what other people were saying about him because I had a sense back then that there was a “higher order” to it.

I can see now that the higher order in it was the fact that this person valued the relationship he had with himself as the most important.

Why is this important and how can it help you?

Because when you put a higher value on yourself people will value you. Loving and caring about yourself first means just that…putting a high value on you and who you are.

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The only people who will criticize you for this are the very same people who have a low self worth towards themselves. I’m bringing this up so you can be aware of what is actually going on should someone try to bring you down to their level.

If that should happen there’s no need in defending yourself over it.

Just be aware of it because in many ways it is someone else trying to control you.

It should also be obvious that loving yourself has nothing to do with being “stuck up” or “conceited” or having a big “ego.”

Loving yourself does have everything to do with caring about yourself first so you can help those care about most.

Remember this quote…

“When you love yourself for who you are, you turn into the one you love.”

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This in turn will allow you to love and care for the people who matter most to you.

2. The inner circle- The second most important relationship you’ll ever have is with those people in your inner circle. What do I mean by this? Your inner circle could range anywhere from your family to your friends to your professional colleagues and anywhere in between.

These will be the people in your life that are most important to you. These are the people we typically think about as us being in a “relationship” with. Of course this is going to be different for each person.

I’m sure you’ve known people who have closer and more loving relationships with others outside their own family. You may even know people who have these types of relationships among their friends and family.

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No matter how you look at it, we all have our own “inner circle” and in many cases have the most caring and loving relationships with people within that circle.

Whether it’s family and/or friends, what matters most in these relationships is that you understand that every person has two sides.

This is the most important thing you can ever realize about any relationship.

Every human being has two sides to them. At times we’re nice and at times we’re mean, We’re happy and sad, giving and taking, supporting and challenging, generous and stingy, and so on.

Why is this important?

Because the most loving and long lasting relationships will be those where you’ll embrace both sides of the person equally.

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Trying to be in a one sided relationship with someone and thinking they’ll be more “positive” and “happy” is futile and is the very reason why relationships end.

There is no such thing as a “happy” relationship but there is such a thing as a loving and fulfilling relationship…and these are the ones where the people involved embrace both sides.

Take a look in your own relationships and those of others and you’ll see this to be true.

3. Soul connection- No matter what type of relationships we have with others, the fact is that we’re all connected in some way. Of course this is going to vary from relationship to relationship. You may not see it at first but it’s certainly there.

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Every relationship in your life serves you, your mission, and your purpose. Some of your relationships will involve a deeper soul connection than others.

Quite often we throw around the term “soulmate” and this is usually referred to as the “one” person, your “romantic love.” That is true. What’s also true is that you have many soulmates. In fact you have thousands of them in the form of all your relationships you during the course of your life.

In fact, you are even your own soulmate because after all, you do have a relationship with yourself…

And like I said earlier this is the most important relationship you’ll ever. Having this all important relationship with yourself allows you to realize the magnificence and brilliance of who you are.

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This in turn gives you the opportunity to inspire others to realize the same about themselves.

So make that connection with both yourself and others. Pass that torch of brilliance and give others the opportunity to believe in their own magnificence.

Stay connected, love yourself, love others, and appreciate all that you and the wonderful people that you’ve come across in your life do…

Because you all make a difference in the world.

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Do You Like Or Love Your Significant Other?

posted by cweiner

Here is something that most people are not aware of when it comes to their most important relationships they have with others.

Not only is this often overlooked, but in most cases it is the determining factor as to whether or not you have the type of loving relationships you want.

Before I reveal what this is, just know that this is involved in any relationship that matters most to you, whether it is through marriage, a new mate, and even with a very close friend.

What I’m referring to as being vital to the success you have in your relationships comes down to answering a critically important question:

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“Do you like or love your significant other?”

Now at first you may say, “well what is the difference?”

There’s actually a huge difference and I’ll be discussing this further in your weekly wealth tips:

1. Liked ones vs. loved ones- As the two words imply, there is a difference between “like” and “love.” Taken a step further, there’s a huge difference between “liked ones” and “loved ones.” In fact, this is something that is very subtle that you may never have been aware of…until now.

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You’ve heard me say before that there is a difference between when you say, “I should”, “I have to”, “I’m supposed to” versus saying, “I love to”, “I’m inspired to”, “This is what I’ve always dreamed of.” The same thing applies here except now we’re talking about relationships.

What I mean is that, do you “like” or “love” your significant other?

And yes there is a huge and relationship transforming difference.

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One of the biggest ways you can tell if you “like” or “love” someone is to ask yourself if you appreciate the person you’re with when they have both positive and negative moments.

In other words, do you appreciate when they’re mean, cruel, greedy, sad, and warful, just as much as when they’re nice, kind, generous, happy, and peaceful towards you?

If you do then you “love” rather than “like” this person.

Just know that when I speak of being mean, cruel, greedy, sad, and warful, that these traits serve you and the relationship in varying degrees.

For example, your spouse may have been greedy with you regarding a conversation you had with them where they took over the conversation because they had an insight that was of benefit to you in a conflict you were having with your boss at work.

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So when I speak of those negative traits above, I want you to look at them from a higher level of awareness because when you perceive others in those ways, it does benefit you.

The point here is that the strongest, longest lasting, and most loving relationships will have a balance of both sides, positive and negative, to include those traits in each of you.

Contrary to what most people are selling and having you believe, every relationship is going to have peace and war, giving and taking, up days and down days, happy and sad moments, and so on.

Once you realize this and know how each side is vital and healthy to the relationship, then you’ll appreciate that person more, and you’ll truly “love” rather than just “liking” them.

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2. The vows of life- I’m sure many of you are familiar with the marriage vows. In general they go something like this…”I ________, take you ________ to be my (husband/wife). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for better and for worse, and so on. Most people are not aware of something very important that is mentioned here…and it is two words I want you to pay close attention to…

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“True” and “And”

Why are these two words important and how do they relate to “liking” or “loving” your significant other?

When you are “true” and truly love your significant other (or anyone for that matter) you’ll embrace both sides of that person equally. This is where the “And” comes in. Notice in the wedding vows that it’s “in sickness AND in health, good times AND bad? It doesn’t say “Or”, it says, “And”…

But yet most people are still trying for the “Or” in their relationships and life by trying to live a one sided (an “Or”) life and be more happy than sad, more nice than mean, more kind than cruel, more peaceful than warful.

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Trying to have a relationship in this one sided manner will eventually either end the relationship or at the very least turn it into a “liking” relationship rather than a “loving” one.

So what can you do to have the type of loving and long lasting relationship you’d love to have…embrace both sides of the person.

Even with that, there is one more very important piece I want to bring up right now.

3. Significant others- Every human being has a set of values or something that is most important to them. Another way to say this is that every person has a set of their highest priorities, things that are most important, second most important , third most, and so on to them.

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Along with that is the fact that each person has a different set of values. No two people have exactly the same values as someone else.

This is important in your relationships because it is your ability to know how to communicate what is important to you in terms of what is important to your significant other that determines the quality and duration of your relationship.

When you realize this, along with knowing that your significant other has two sides to them, and that it serves you and the relationship, you’ll “love” them instead of “liking” them, and you’ll be well on your way to having what many call the “dream” or “ideal” relationship.

And since you’re a reflection of what you see in others, you’ll also realize your own brilliance and magnificence along the way. In fact that is the ultimate purpose of your relationships.

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When you love others for who they are, they turn into the one you love. This in turn is trying to get you to love yourself for who you are so you can turn into the one you love.

Be sure to thank your significant others for who they are and how they contribute so much to your life…

And certainly be sure to thank yourself for all that you do and contribute to the world with your uniqueness.

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Would You Change Anything About Your Past If You Could?

posted by cweiner

As humans we quite often find ourselves tempted by certain things, some more than others.

One of the things I’m referring to is about going back in time and changing certain events in our lives.

The reasons for wanting to do this at first seem to make sense. For example, you may have made a decision and taken action on doing something in the past that didn’t go the way you wanted and just the thought of being able to change that would somehow help.

The other part of this involves those decisions you made and actions you took in the past which may have you regretting what you did or didn’t do.

What this ends up leading to is carrying around emotional baggage and let’s face it, no one wants to be carrying that around and having it run their life.

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If this applies to you in some way I have a question for you:

“Would you change anything about your past if you could?”

While we can’t physically just jump into a time machine and go back in time, we can do so in a perceptual way via our mindset.

So with that being said the question remains…

“Would you change anything about your past if you could?”

1. Blast from the past- Let’s face it, as humans it is natural to have the tendency to want to go back in the past and come from the mindset of, “If I had just changed that one decision I made or didn’t make things would have been different…I would have been happier and better off.”

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Really? Are you sure about that?

Now at first you most likely would say yes. We’ve all been in those situations, myself included.

It is very tempting to say that if you changed just one thing from the past that things would have turned out better.

On the flip side along with this is also the tendency to say, “I don’t even want to think about what took place in the past, I just want to forget about it altogether.”

Really? Are you sure about this too?

Here’s the deal…

There’s nothing wrong with looking back in your past, it just depends on how you do so.

Looking back on any moment(s) in your past and thinking that if you changed something your life would have been happier and better off is an unwise thing to do.

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The reason is, because by changing just one thing, even what seems like an insignificant event can and does change everything else that follows…and it can certainly do so in ways that you may not want.

Therefore it is wise to be grateful for what has taken place in your life no matter what it was and see how it has helped you.

2. Back to the future- Many people feel that our past shapes our future. Along these lines there are people who will say that what others have done in the past will continue to be a pattern that shows up in the future. The question here is, “Is there any truth to this?”

The answer is “yes” and “no.” It depends.

I’m sure it’s obvious that some people will just have a tendency, no matter what they say, to just continue to repeat and do the same things over and over again…even though they may say, “I’m sorry” for things they’ve done before.

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Take a look at this and you’ll see it quite often. Of course this isn’t true with everyone but those who have a high tendency to say, “I’m sorry” will have a high probability of doing that very thing they’re apologizing for again and again. Take a closer look and you’ll see this much more than you originally
thought.

Then of course you have some people who will apologize for something and they’ll stay true to their word. This doesn’t happen as often as most people would like to believe.

Where am I going with this?

Just know that whatever you’ve done or not done in the past is something that has served you and others whether you’re aware of it at any point in time or not.

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The idea is to realize this and be grateful for it so you can be in a poised, present, and purposeful state of mind without having unnecessary emotional baggage weighing you down.

This is yet another reason why you wouldn’t want to go back in time in any way and change the past.

3. Here in the now- There is this real cool picture I’ve come across and it is of a clock that has the word “now” in place of the numbers one through twelve. Of course this is to mean that no matter what time it is that time is “now.” I love the concept but the bigger question is…

“How do we maintain being in the now at all times?”

The truth, which is surprising to many people, is that no one is able to always be 100% in the “now” all the time.

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However, we can train ourselves and certainly be able to get into those states of presence during very specific moments.

The fact is that we as humans are always oscillating in some way emotionally, and certainly some more than others.

Those who go on what some call an “emotional roller coaster” will have very frequent up and down mood swings, while those who are more poised, present, and in the “now” will have very little emotional mood swings.

Why is this important?

Because in order for you to realize the magnificence and brilliance of who you are it is very important to be able to control and manage your emotions to the point of being poised, present, and in that “now” state.

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And a big part of being able to do this involves what I’ve been discussing with you today, knowing how to go back in your past and use it to your (and others) advantage.

Once again, it’s not about wanting to change your past but to see how it has helped you become the wonderful and amazing person you are.

So the next time you think about that clock and that the time is “now” just know that your time is now to shine and to show the world how much of an important person you are.

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Who Are You?

posted by cweiner

There are 3 things that come to mind as I write this…

  1. The Rock band, “The Who”
  1. The album they came out with in 1978 entitled, “Who Are You” (which is also a song on the album)
  1. My actual question to you…”Who are you?”

Of course it is the last choice above that I’ll be speaking about today.

Now you may be thinking about why I’m asking you this question.

The reason is because this is something that is very important for you to think about that can and does determine the type of life you want to live.

While this may seem like just some 3 word question, it goes way beyond that.

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As interesting and quite often surprising as it may seem, many of the situations we find ourselves in has to do with not knowing who we truly are.

Even though at our true core selves we do know, our actions say otherwise.

What do I mean by this?

If you find yourself saying, “I should”, “I have to”, “I’m supposed”, “I need to”, that is a sign that you’re not doing what is true to you.

Now of course you may be in a situation in a certain part of your life currently that has you in this type of situation, such as working a job you may not like or just doing something you don’t want to be doing.

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This is understandable. We’ve all been through this. I’ve been through it.

What I’m getting at here is if this becomes what seems like a life time pattern of it.

Also involved in this is comparing yourself to someone else and think that they have a better deal than you.

I’ll be straight forward about this…

Even though it may seem on the outside that someone else has it “better” in their life, you do not ever want to come from the mindset of, “I wish I could trade places with them.

The reason is, because even though they may be doing something that you would love to do, you don’t know what else is going on in the different areas of their life.

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An excellent example of this is someone you see who is very financially wealthy. Yes, they may have the financial wealth but what about the other areas of their life.

They may have the money but they may also have a major physical health issue. Or a major family issue. Or they may have a major mindset issue that is running their life.

What if you are in excellent physical health, have the type of loving family you want, and have a very strong mindset? Yes you may not have this other person’s financial wealth, but the others areas of your life I mentioned are solid.

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You see my point.

The main point here is to just be yourself, whatever that is for you.

Look for living your life by, “I love to”, I’m inspired to”, “I’m blessed to”, “This is what I’ve always dreamed of”, and your energy shifts and so to with it the rest of your life.

Talking about this always brings me back to the Oscar Wilde quote

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“Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”

No matter what you do in life you’ll always be dealing with the supports and challenges, the pleasures and pains, the giving and taking, the ease and difficulty.

Even though there’s no getting around this for anyone, wouldn’t you enjoy it more if you’re doing what you love and being true to yourself?

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So I started off today talking about the rock band, “The Who” and am finishing up talking about Oscar Wilde…interesting how certain things play out.

The same is true in your life.

What may seem like a low point in your life currently may be the very thing you need to breakthrough it.

At first things may not go as planned but as long as you stay with it, while being true to yourself along the way, you have a very high probability of living the type of life you’d love to live.

And you’ll also show how magnificent of a person you are and the tremendous amount of value you contribute to the world with your uniqueness.

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posted 2:34:41pm Jul. 26, 2015 | read full post »

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posted 4:21:23pm Jul. 12, 2015 | read full post »

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