No is such a little word and yet holds so much power. If we know how to use it, that is. Life is filled with so much possibility and endless opportunities. We don’t realize just how much possibility is available to us because we are bombarded by the thoughts and ideas of what others are saying. We say yes to what our limited mind believes is possible rather than taking a stand for what our heart truly desires. Perhaps you don’t know what your heart truly desires and that’s ok. I’ve been there and I know that feeling all too well. When I didn’t have the clarity on what I desired, the one thing I did have the clarity on was what I did NOT desire.
With the willingness to be honest with ourselves, we can always get clear on what we don’t want.
Just pure honesty.
Take an inventory of your life. Make a list of everything that doesn’t make you feel good, uplift you, support you, or inspire you. And then say No.
You might say, “Oh I can’t do that.” And then we move on and look back a few months or years later and say, “Why am I still here?”
We remain where we are simply because we listened to the louder voice of our fear rather than the softer whisper of our heart.
We don’t realize that saying no requires that we muster up the courage to make changes in our life. It takes the willingness to step into the unknown and allow the ground underneath us to shake for a bit. It requires becoming comfortable in the discomfort. We don’t realize that on the other side of that discomfort are miracles waiting for you. Some of these miracles include
discovering your inner strength
discovering your own personal truth – what inspires you
discovering your gifts
remembering what brings you joy
allowing your destiny to unfold rather than handing your power over to fate
You have choice. You get to choose between your head and your heart. This is where we hold the power. Our true divine power.
I know the struggle of keeping myself in situations that were not for my highest good. I also know the freedom I experienced when I allowed myself to let go of the struggle and simply say no with love. The truth is it doesn’t have to be a struggle. Saying No frees us. Saying no empowers us. Saying No provides clarity. Saying No makes room for our true desires to come forward. Your desires are your truth and you are here to awaken and live your truth. That is why you are here.
I actually don’t believe in “wrong” stories. I do believe however, that every story we create about ourselves and every story that we find ourselves in is a doorway to our fullest potential. They are here to challenge us, to help us grow, evolve, expand and ultimately teach us how to live more aligned to our truth and our soul. None of this is possible if we believe our stories have the final say. Our stories are nothing more than false interpretations of our passed experiences and lies that we bought into about ourselves and the world around us.
Rather than taking the time to get to know our story so that we can make choices that feel aligned to who we really are, we live like a hamster on a wheel, replaying out the same scenarios over and over again.
I know this all too well. Until I looked at my own story, I remained in countless relationships way past their expiration date and remained in an unfulfilling career for many years all because I was believing in stories that didn’t serve me. Our stories usually sound something like…
“I should stay because this is all there is”
“I should stay because it is safe”
“I’d rather stay than be alone”
“I am unworthy of anything else”
“I’m not good enough”
“I’m not lucky enough”
“It’s not possible for me”
There are countless more and each and everyone of them keep us confined and limited. Our mind is so invested in these beliefs because its only job is to keep us safe. It has no interest in our growth. It has no interest in allowing us to take risks or step out of our comfort zone. The mind would much rather keep us in our comfort zone even though our comfort zone is really creating tremendous discomfort in our lives. Nothing beautiful can ever grow in our comfort zone. Just look at a caterpillar. That caterpillar needs to go through some serious discomfort to transform. I’m sure it would rather stay in its cocoon. That is until it experiences what it’s like to be a butterfly. It has no desire to leave its cocoon simply because it has no awareness of what kind of experiences it will have as a butterfly. It doesn’t realize that it will grow wings and those wings will take it places far beyond its wildest dreams.
Our stories work very much the same way. They keep us stuck and confined in a cocoon. We don’t take the time to image what our experiences would be like outside of our story. We believe that what we currently see is the only possibilities that exist. That’s what living in a cocoon will do. It leaves no room for expansion and growth and I have some serious news for you. THIS IS WHY WE ARE HERE. It’s really time that we GET this. Why would we come here to replay out old experiences over and over again? It’s very funny when you take a moment to think about it. Our stories control us when we allow them to. They run our lives and we find ourselves frustrated, discouraged and confused if we don’t take ownership of them. Either they will own us or we will own them. The truth is we get to create our lives and we get to choose our story each and every day. We get the final say. Although we are given this gift, most of us never receive this gift. Not because we don’t want to, but because just like the caterpillar, we aren’t aware that it is a possibility. I’m here to tell you it’s a possibility. We are all given choice. We are all given free will. It’s not our stories that define us, it’s what we choose to do with our stories that define us.
So if you are finding yourself in the wrong story, first take the time to get to know what your story is telling you. Is it telling you…
“I’m too old”
“I have no other options”
“It’s too late for me”
“Nobody will love me”
“I’m too scared”
“Nobody will approve of me”
“It’s just not possible”
Get honest. Get real. Discover. Get Curious. Only the truth will set you free. Nothing else will. Not a job. Not an experience. Not a house or a car or a person. Only the hard truth can offer you freedom.
Choose to learn from your story and uncover the gifts in it. And then…with much gratitude and your gorgeous wings, exit gracefully with the knowing that just like the butterfly you get to transform your story anytime you choose.
Now is the most powerful moment that exists.
Now is when we get to create anew.
Now is when we can choose exactly who we wish to be.
Now is what is real.
Now is creating your tomorrow.
Now is loving all that exists without judgement.
Now is being free to be the authentic you.
Now is when we say what we need to say.
Now is when we feel what we need to feel.
Now is the moment to do what your soul has been longing to experience.
Now is the time to express all of who you are.
Now is the time to show up as your most truthful self.
Now is the time to get really honest with yourself.
Now is the time to own your real desires.
Now is the time to release your past.
Now is when you open the door to unlimited possibility.
Now is the time to move towards your dreams with grace and commitment.
Now is your chance to love with your whole heart.
Now is your chance to heal.
Now is the time to learn the lesson that needs no more repeating.
Now is the time to step into your power.
Now is the time to be bold and courageous.
Now is the time to let your soul lead.
Now is all there is…
If not now…then when?
When life appears to be going wrong or we are left feeling confused or lost with the direction of our where our path is headed we are often convinced that there must be something wrong with us and therefore, there is something about us that we need to fix. And so the search begins. We venture into the world of personal development and self help looking for where we are broken and how we can fix it. Perceiving ourselves as if we are flawed in some way because we can’t seem to get “it” right can lead us down a very long road that brings us in circles never to reach a destination that feels authentically fulfilling and true to our soul. Believing that there is something to fix within us or some destination that we need to reach outside of us only continues to take us further away from the truth of who we are and keeps us falling into the trap of self judgment and shame. This occurs because under the all the attempts of striving to fix or reach an outcome is the belief that states, “I am not enough just as I am” This belief carries deep shame based energy and living in this vibration keeps us believing that in order to feel better we must fix some internal or external problem that continues to show up for us. What’s really happening is these so called problems are simply a reflection of the lack of self love and acceptance that we are not offering to the whole of our being. We may tell ourselves a good story that says, “If only I reached a certain outcome I would be accepted and more importantly feel accepted.” It doesn’t work this way. Ever. You can even reach the end of your life with everything checked off your list, but if this list was being checked off with the intention to prove your worth, you are setting yourself up for tremendous disappointment.
What if this were true instead?
What if we are all perfect just as we are? Flaws and all. What if every single thing that life handed to us was exactly what was needed so that we could experience profound expansion and growth? What if every human being that was placed on our path was there for a purpose and all the experiences we encountered with them were the perfect opportunities to bring us towards our calling, our purpose and ultimately our destiny? What if we were all here to serve each others growth even in what looks like the most horrific circumstances. What if every experience wasn’t looked at as “Why did this happen to me? but rather “thank you for this experience and what can I learn from it?” What if every pain, disappointment and perceived failure was an opportunity to dive deeply into the depths of your being so that you could stop listening to your mind and begin to hear the wisdom of our soul? What if it is all meant to unfold just as it is so that you could reconnect and more importantly remember who you are and why you are here? What if what appears to be going wrong is the very thing we need to open us up to the truth of who we are? What if it’s all the so called mistakes, challenges and obstacles that actually lead us down the path that our logical mind could have never imagined. What if the universe has everything taken care of and knows exactly what it is putting in our path so that we could fall down, fall apart and then return with more gifts than we could have ever thought were possible? What if life is just trying to get our attention so that we could dig up our most powerful qualities that we once thought were better to bury within us? What if it’s all happening to show us that we indeed have a choice in every moment to see that life is happening for us and not to us? What if we simply forgot our brilliance and our perfection and life is giving us the opportunity to remember again through our challenges?
Let’s look at this for a moment. When life appears to be going smooth, we are not forced to go within. Instead we succumb to extremely superficial lives. We play by the rules and travel through life with an extremely limited mindset. We follow the herd. We refrain from taking leaps and risks that will nurture our soul. We settle for what life hands us because we don’t have a reason to grow or change. We remain in a box that feels extremely confined and suffocating. We believe we are the victim of our fated experiences and therefore close ourselves off to the destiny that is meant for us. We believe that the only thing possible for us is what we were taught to believe.
Our challenges are here to honor. It’s time that we know that every part of us has purpose and meaning. There is nothing to fix. There is nothing to prove. When we honor all aspects of ourselves, we begin to see that everything has meaning and purpose. There is nothing that we need to hide, deny or shame. There is only that which we need to embrace and bring light to so that we may grow into our fullest potential and open up to the amazing possibilities that our destiny is calling forth in us.