Awake in the World

Awake in the World

The Aftermath of Big Change: When the Heroine Takes Stock

Big change on the hero’s journey is one of the hardest steps. All through a story the hero or heroine is faced with incremental changes that lead to making a big decision – one that will change his life forever. A heroine stands up to an ogre and she defeats him, or a knight finally slays the fiery dragon that taunted him for years. In fairy-tales we celebrate the success once the battle is won. But I wonder how the hero feels once the celebrations end? 

In the lives of everyday heroes these kinds of changes appear – breakups with a partner who is no longer the right one; leaving behind a house for financial reasons; sending adult kids out into the world to live on their own, and many more. Once the decision is made and the change occurs an expectation exists that we’ll automatically and immediately feel relieved, happy, and content.


The everyday heroine like you and me might actually feel comforted once the ogre-like ex moves out, or the hero-knight might hit an adrenaline high after standing up to the fire-breathing boss and saying, “I quit.” But big changes can also lead to feelings of shock, depression, despair, grief, and a loss of faith as we ask “Why me?” or simply, “What happened?” or “Oh my god, what have I done?!”

When the higher-self calls us to make big changes and be true to our Self some of the changes can lead to feelings of temporarily being lost or in a dark night of the soul. Faith in one’s Self and the Divine connection may seem dim. Meister Eckhart wrote, “Truly it is in darkness that we find the light.”

So be aware of this moment as a passage, a hallway to something better and don’t despair. It may take time to release the emotions around the changes and process the experiences. It’s not unusual to feel temporarily worse and somewhat confused before finding a new equilibrium. Life is a bit like a teeter-totter – with emotional ups and downs. Seeking the middle point closest to the support of the teeter-totter assures the least movement or drama and the quickest recovery. That support point that keeps us closest to peace is the Divine. So as you weather the changes applaud yourself for your courage, stay in close contact with your soul-Self, and know that better and richer experiences lie just ahead.


Bio: Debra Moffitt is the award winning author of Awake in the World: 108 Practices to Live a Divinely Inspired Life and “Garden of Bliss: Cultivating the Inner Landscape for Self-Discovery” (Llewellyn Worldwide, February 2013). A visionary, dreamer and teacher, she’s devoted to nurturing the spiritual in everyday life. She leads workshops on spiritual practices, writing and creativity in the U.S. and Europe. More at and on Facebook at:

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