A Reason to Smile

A Reason to Smile

Q&A: Is it too late to work things out?

posted by B. Dave Walters

Sometimes you just have to let go

Question submitted via Formspring:
My husband and I are separated and “trying” to work it out – although it is very one sided. Sometimes I fear that if things were to work out, I won’t feel comfortable being intimate with him anymore…like a bond has been broken. Can it be repaired?

Even though you haven’t said it here, it seems like there was some form of infidelity involved that caused your separation; since he is trying to work it out (i.e. make it up to you), and you still care enough to try. Yet the trust has been breached too much to be willing to be intimate now.

Two things:
First, forgive him. Forgiving him doesn’t mean whatever he did was OK. All forgiveness means is you are giving up whatever negativity you still hold in your heart towards him and/or the situation; it’s a gift you give to *yourself *, not to him.

Secondly, you have to be willing to start from absolute scratch. Whatever happened, or if there wasn’t a ‘thing’ at all but you’ve just grown apart; either way your old relationship is dead. The covenant has been broken, and can not be reformed.

If you are going to have a future of any sort, you would have to wipe the slate absolutely clean and begin at the beginning. Go out on dates for a while before you move back in together, so you can decide if you even want to be together anymore.

And, when the dust settles, if you are done, you are done. If you have been hurt too badly to get past it, if you can forgive him but not forget it, then your relationship may truly be at it’s end. He can apologize all he wants, but somethings once they are broken can not be repaired.

If you look into your heart you know which one it is: start from scratch or move on. Here is a previous article on how to let go of someone that can help you make that transition, if that’s your choice. Keep us posted on how it turns out.

What do you think she should do? Feel free to comment down below!

You are great, and I love you!
And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me: http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything: http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha – Interfaith dialog

Gnostic Theism – Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

Love One Another – A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!

 

 

Q&A: ‘Why didn’t the Law of Attraction work for me?’

posted by B. Dave Walters

Let it out…and then keep moving!

Question submitted via Formspring: “How can I tell the difference between inspired action and action to “force a result”? I was feeling good and confident on manifesting something into my life, took what I thought was inspired action only to have it blow up in my face. What happened?”

We talked about this question on a recent episode of my radio show, Rise UP with B. Dave Walters, along with: Hitting Rock Bottom.
What to do when you don’t know what to do, how to pick yourself back up again, getting over an abusive past, can sex ever have no strings attached, how men and women see love differently, the Law of Attraction, Q&A, and more!

We have talked before about how the Law of Attraction does not fail, ever.  So the better question is what do you mean by ‘blow up in your face’?

The ‘secret’ to the Law of Attraction is to stay in alignment, and keep taking those inspired actions until the result arrives.  If you allow yourself to get distracted, or discouraged when it doesn’t work the way you think it should, then in those moments you are pushing your goal further and further away.  If you look at the lives of most people who’ve been successful at anything, they have worked hard for a very long time.  They get knocked down, but they get back up.

Being a conscious creator doesn’t mean you have a magical wish-granting genie at your disposal.  It doesn’t even mean that things are always going to go your way, or that you’ll never have any problems.  What it does mean, is that you are the captain of the ship, rather than a passenger.  The ‘sea’ around you may be smooth, or may be choppy, but you direct your energy, and by extension you direct your life.

So, if you really did take inspired action, and yet your goal did not manifest, the thing to ask yourself is: What do you need to learn from this situation?  Is it possible that the thing you want to be, do, or have, is still in the process of coming to you?  Were you unrealistic in your time table? Did you really do ALL you could do to help it show up for you, and what can you do next?

Remember, it took your entire life for things to become who you are and have the exact life you have right now, and it will take time for things to change in a new direction.  As long as you stay focused, and in action, it will show up as fast as it possibly can, but no faster.  Every time you give in to fear, doubt, or frustration, you just make the whole thing take that much longer.

You are great, and I love you!
And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me: http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything: http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha – Interfaith dialog

Gnostic Theism – Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

Love One Another – A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!

 

 

How to get up when you hit rock bottom

posted by B. Dave Walters

Always accept what’s so.

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but thought about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral. It is as it is.  Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.”
― Eckhart Tolle

Does it every feel like everything is going wrong?  Like no matter what you do, or no matter how hard you try, things never seem to go your way?  If so, you are not alone.  Many, many, people have felt like you feel right now, and the good news is: There is a way out.

Generally speaking, our challenges fall into one of two categories: Lessons sent to use by God/The Universe to learn and grow, and situations we create for ourselves, that still give us a chance to learn and grow.  Life, above all else, is a school.  We get the people and situations we need to learn what we need to learn to continue growing and reach the next level.  And we will continue repeating those types of situations until we learn what we are supposed to learn.

The first thing is, don’t even think of your problems as ‘problems.’  Remember that everything lives in language. And this isn’t vague positive thinking, it is concrete neuroscience.   The words you use to describe your situation literally change how you feel about it.  This applies to all your ‘problems’, obstacles, challenges, hurtles, opportunities, or anything else. Consider, instead of saying ‘I am so broke,’ you could say ‘I’d like to make more money.’  Or, instead of ‘I hate my job,’ think ‘I am ready for a new job that I really enjoy.’

The next thing you need to ask yourself is: What’s so?  What is actually happening?  Often times we get upset about things that aren’t actually taking place; if you find yourself feeling anxious or overwhelmed, chances are you are looking too far into the future and dreaming up new things to fear.  Always bring your thoughts back to the present moment, since that’s all that really exists.  Once you cut through the mist of fear, and can see things as they really are, you are free to take the actions you’ll need to take to start changing them.  Remember, you can worry, OR you can have faith, but not both.  Either you trust God/The Universe to have your back, or you don’t.

So the next question you need to ask yourself is: What can you learn from the situation you find yourself in?  And I’ll give you a hint: It’s never something dramatic like “I should never trust people,” or “no one will ever love me.”  Instead, maybe the lesson is you should stop picking abusive men who will use you; or clingy women who’ll emotionally manipulate you.  If you are having health issues, maybe there are changes you can make to your diet and exercise routine.

As we said at the beginning, there is another kind of lesson that comes our way.  Sometimes what we experience is the total collapse of our previous life, so that a new one can rise in its place, through an experience known as ‘the dark night of the soul.’   Trying to cling too tightly to the old way of being will only prolong the process and cause you more and more pain.  We talked extensively about how to deal with the dark night of the soul in a recent episode of my radio show Rise UP with B. Dave Walters, along with why you suffer, how to stay positive, how to KNOW you are on the right track, how keep your head up, how to start reinventing yourself, how you know when you’re in love, why age is no big deal, and much, much, more!

So in conclusion, look at how you are describing things, even in your own mind…especially in your own mind.  Then focus on what’s so, the concrete reality of the situation; the present moment is the one and only place where you can use your power to make any real change.  And then figure out what the lesson is, since once you learn it, you’ll be able to stop repeating it.  Remember, your pain is the cracking of the shell that contains your understanding; hitting bottom only means you can bounce back higher.

You are great, and I love you!
And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me: http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything: http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha – Interfaith dialog

Gnostic Theism – Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

Love One Another – A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!

 

 

How can you create the life you really want?

posted by B. Dave Walters

The time is now!

Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.
-Oprah Winfrey

Every year around January 1, we take out a piece of paper and list our resolutions; all kinds of things we are ‘resolving’ to do better.

My question is: do you know where this year’s list is? And if you do, how many of your resolutions did you keep?

In these articles I talk quite a bit about change, gratitude,  and optimism but ultimately it’s just words if you don’t have a system and structure in place to apply it to your life.

As I sit down and look at my own life, I have to admit something painful: it’s not working like I want it to work.

Don’t get me wrong, I own a few businesses that keep a roof over our heads and food on the table, but I am not succeeding on the level I’d like to be succeeding at. So in the interest of ‘practicing what I preach’ I’d like to share with you the exact same steps and tools I am using for myself, in the hopes that you might gain something, too.

Step 1. Decide what you don’t want.
For example, are you tired of struggling to make ends meet? Perhaps you are unhappy with your body, or are tired of being alone. Write down (ideally on paper, but computers are fine) everything in your life you are unhappy with.

Step 2. Decide what having things they way they are is costing you.
What this means is, if you are overweight, that may be keeping you from going to the beach because you’re embarrassed. Or not having the right relationship leaves you feeling lonely and incomplete. For everything you listed that you don’t like, list all the negative repercussions you are experiencing.

Step 3. Decide what you DO want.
Don’t hold back here, really write out your dream life. You may not make it there in a year, but you can still make progress every day. More importantly, you’ll NEVER get there unless you know what you want and start working towards it.

Step 4. Decide what you’re willing to give in order to have your goals.
I’ve realized an amazing thing: I have these talks with people, and they get all excited about how live can really be; we make a plan and they leave all excited.

And then they don’t do anything!

Realize that you’re going to have to do things differently to get a different result. If what you’re doing now was going to get you your goals, you’d already have them! So what are you willing to commit? Is it turning off the TV an hour earlier to work on writing that novel you’ve always wanted to write? Is it getting up an hour earlier to go to the gym before work? Is it joining a singles group so you can get out and meet new people?

A word of warning though: don’t commit too much too quickly. You may be able to jump into 3 hours of meditation or lifting weights every day, but if it’s too hard or too much you won’t keep up with the program. Your brain works similar to a thermostat in a room, it is designed to keep you within a comfortable range. So if you try to do too much, too fast you’ll find your desire evaporates and you go back to doing the same old comfortable things.

It’s better to do a little bit every day then do a lot and give up after a week.

Step 5. Do it!

I think you see the logic in this plan: if you truly understand what you want, why you want it, and why it’s better than your current situation, then you’ll be able to get it for yourself.

If you see changing as too hard, too much work, or not worth the effort, then you won’t (which is why most people’s resolutions never happen).

One other thing:
Some people say you should tell everyone about your goals, some say tell no one. Some people say to think about them all the time, some say put it out of your mind completely. So which is it?

Here is the answer: do whichever seems right to you.
If you are so excited you want to tell the world, do it. If sharing your plan with others makes you feel insecure, then don’t.
And think about it as much as possible without resorting to worry. The goal is to stay excited and enthusiastic; if you start feeling anxious or doubtful, put it out of your mind (but keep following the plan!)

It’s as simple as that.

You are great, and I love you!
And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me: http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything: http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha – Interfaith dialog

Gnostic Theism – Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

Love One Another – A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!

 

 

Q&A: ‘How can I get another chance?’

posted by B. Dave Walters

One more chance….

Question submitted via Formspring:

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but I am really trying to change.  The problem is my family and friends don’t believe it, and keep treating me like the same old me; how do I show them I’m different?”

All of us have made mistakes, and done things we aren’t proud of.  And unfortunately sometimes it’s the people we care about most who get hurt.  So, if you are looking for another chance to prove that you’ve changed, what can you do?

Step one: Actually change!  The people who don’t believe you have changed, have probably heard you say you’ve changed before.  Or maybe you did try to be different in the past, but slipped back into your old habits.  So, if you want them to believe you are different: Actually be different.  If you know your temper gets you into trouble, work on controlling it.  If you get into fights every time you drink, stop drinking.  Don’t try to convince people how different you are, until you actually start *doing* things differently.

Step two: Forgive yourself for the past.  Yes, you may have done some things you aren’t proud of, but they are done.  All you can do now is learn from it, try to make amends, and work to do better next time.  Remember that no matter what you’ve done before now, you can ALWAYS choose to do something differently next time.  You don’t *have* to get caught up in the same old patterns, habits, or conflicts.

Step three: Try to make amends.  Apologize for what you’ve done, and if it’s possible to fix what you’ve done, try to.  If it’s not possible, try to do something good for someone else, like working with youth to help them avoid making the same mistakes you did.

One important thing you have to remember, is depending on what’s happened in the past people may not want to give you another chance.  It may be that they are still too hurt from what’s happened in the past, and trying to push too hard will only make it worse.  Remember, the best way to prove you are different is to *be different*.  While there’s life, there is hope; the person who won’t talk to you today may feel different a month, or a year, or ten years from now.

Everything that has happened in the past has brought you to where you are…but where you go next is 100% up to you!

You are great, and I love you!
And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me: http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything: http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha – Interfaith dialog

Gnostic Theism – Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

Love One Another – A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!

 

Q&A: ‘Is being negative just as good as being positive?’

posted by B. Dave Walters

Which way will you go?

Question submitted via Formspring:
“One of my friends actually believes being negative is as ok as being positive. He is constantly desolate and sad due to victimizing himself and not trusting anyone. Am I not able to convince him because I am not positive enough?”

A couple of things: First, it isn’t up to you to convince your friend of anything; all you have to do is be there for him when he needs you.  Of course, how positive you are may have an impact on him, but we’ll come back to that in a minute.

The other thing is, he doesn’t really think that being negative is just as good as being positive; but his life experience has caused him to believe negativity is the safer bet.  Since if you always assume the worst, you can never be disappointed, right?

Unfortunately, that is not the case, since not only does assuming the worst not make the worst any easier to deal with when it arrives, it robs the present of its joy. And of course, the Law of Attraction teaches us that the more negative emotion we put out into the Universe, the more negativity we’ll attract back to us.

Chances are extremely high that there is some unresolved baggage, issues, and trauma from his past that you may or may not know about that is holding him down.  And as long as there are things that he has not forgiven himself or someone else for, it will be difficult for him to be truly happy, since you have to learn how to forgive before you can learn how to trust.

Which brings us back to what you can do for him, and that is this: Be a good example.  It doesn’t matter whether or not you are ‘positive enough’, since it’s not a competition; it only matters that you are consistent.   It also doesn’t matter how many times you watch The Secret or post positive quotes, if you get angry or disappointed when things don’t go your way, because he sees it.  If you get all excited about manifesting a new Ferrari one moment, and give up after a week, he sees that, too.

But above all else, remember there is nothing wrong with him; he’s doing the best he can, just like everyone else.  He has to do some inner work and start making different choices to get different results, which is something you cannot do for him.  Focus on being the best friend that you can, and building the best life that you can and everything else will fall into place.

P.S.: My holiday promotion has been extended through the end of the year; you can get access to my book, audio programs, PDFs, and coaching service easier than ever before.  Visit my website to learn more!

You are great, and I love you!
And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me: http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything: http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha – Interfaith dialog

Gnostic Theism – Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

Love One Another – A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!

 

A love letter from your true self

posted by B. Dave Walters

To me, you are perfect.

Beloved,

I’ve been trying to talk to you lately, but you’ve been so busy; hopefully writing this letter will get your attention.  I just want you to know something very important: I love you; I really, truly, do.

I know it’s been hard for you lately; you’ve been hurt, and disappointed.  But you know what else?  You have survived.  It may seem lonely now, but you are not alone; you never have been, and you never will be.  You have me, the small bit of peace in your heart that never quite goes away.  I am the voice that that whispers to you that you are so beautiful, so brilliant, so creative, so loving, and so strong…because you are.

Lately, I notice you’ve been giving too much of your power away.  What I mean is, you have been letting what people say and do, or don’t do, get you down.  But you don’t have to; people only have what power over you that you give them.  And you don’t have to be angry at them, either; they are just choosing to give their power to their own baggage, issues, and trauma.

But you aren’t doing that; you are different. I know you hear my whispers, and that you know it’s the truth.  I have some good news and some bad news for you: Nothing and no one outside of yourself can stop you, but nothing outside of yourself can save you, either.

Trust God, trust the Universe, trust Life, and above all else, trust yourself.  Follow your heart, but remember to take your brain with you!  You always know the truth, even though sometimes you don’t want to admit it. As long as you speak and act from love, you are doing everything right; even if it sometimes seems like everything is going wrong.

But when you get to where you are going, this will have all made sense.  Until then my love: Keep your head up, otherwise your crown will fall off!

Until that day, I love you and I’m here for you.  When you see in yourself what I see in you, you’ll be unstoppable!

You are great, and I love you!
And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me: http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything: http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha – Interfaith dialog

Gnostic Theism – Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

Love One Another – A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!

 

Q&A: ‘How can I give up stress and feel more centered?’

posted by B. Dave Walters

The Center is where you find it

Question submitted via Formspring:
“I have had some amazing changes take place in my life. I have been very blessed and grateful for the things that have been taking place. However, I recently have been feeling uncentered. I pray, I worship, I read scripture, but I still feel off. What can I do to center myself again? I need some suggestions, help or something!

And here is a follow-up to my question…is it possible that someone really close to you can feed on that same energy and have the same thing happen to them? I was talking to my 17 year-old son this morning, and he just recently made the basketball team. However, over the last couple of weeks, he has been off his game. He did really well in try-outs and practices, but then all of a sudden everything was off. He can’t hold on to the ball, not making layups, just not doing anything as normal. So I was telling him this morning how something similar was happening to me with feeling off. I made a comment about how he might be feeding off of me…is that possible and if so, what should we both do?”

Before we begin, one quick note: I have extended my holiday sale on my website! For a short time you can get a huge discount on all the programs and podcasts I’ve done on spirituality, relationships, abundance, coaching, and more.  Visit my website, PeaceLoveMoney.com to learn more.

The answer to the second part of the question is simple: Yes, it is very possible he’s feeding off of you.  Parents have an incredible impact on their children; especially mothers to their sons.  The first part is takes a bit more explanation.

In my Coaching work, I have worked with many successful people, both at the beginning and end of their careers.  And, the saddest thing is to see someone who’s gotten everything they ever wanted in life, and yet they are still miserable; but why does that happen?

There are many reasons why a person might feel ‘uncentered’, but the most common one is this: Doing the right thing, for the wrong reason. For instance, I’ve known many people who pursued fame and fortune in order to make themselves feel ‘worthy’.  But the fact is, worthiness is a feeling that comes from inside you, not outside.  So, when they made it to the mountaintop not only did they still feel empty, but actually felt MORE empty because they had everything that should have made them happy, but didn’t.

So, if you are feeling out of alignment, stop and ask yourself why it is you are doing what you’re doing.  Why the new job, why leaving the old relationship, or why any other changes that you are making.  Yes, many blessings may have arrived out of the blue, but if you aren’t firmly rooted in what you really want, they’ll still feel unfulfilling.  Remember, you can do anything…but not everything!

If you have trouble figuring out what you want, then start by figuring out what you don’t want, that is always much easier.

The next thing is to give yourself some credit for all that you’ve accomplished, and how far you’ve come.  You’ve had to climb quite a hill to get to where you are now; have you given yourself any credit for it?  I have a coaching client who sets big goals to go after, to prove that they are ‘worthy’, and, they accomplish these goals more often than not.  But when they do, rather than feeling like they’ve accomplished something, this person chooses to believe that the goal must not have really been worthwhile.  After all, if they could do it, it must not have been worth doing…right?

Wrong.

One of the biggest sources of misfortune I’ve ever seen is allowing yourself to mentally jump from crisis to crisis without allowing yourself to feel relieved when things actually work out!

The bottom line is: If you want to feel centered, focus on things that make you feel centered.  Look at all the blessings you’ve been given, and truly take time to thank God / The Universe for every single one of them.  For all the goals you had that happened, for all the plans you had that didn’t happen; for all the pleasant surprises you’ve had, and all that are still to come.  Go to bed thinking about how excited you are for the blessings of tomorrow, and wake up giving thanks for the new day and it’s infinite potential.

If you are rooted in how good you’ve had it up until now, how much better it’s going to be in the future, and especially how bless you really are in this very moment…that’s as centered as you can get.

You are great, and I love you!
And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me: http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything: http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha – Interfaith dialog

Gnostic Theism – Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

Love One Another – A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!

 

Q&A: ‘How do I get over my breakup?’

posted by B. Dave Walters

*Always*

Question submitted via Formspring:
“My brother got dumped and he’s been listening to all kinds of break-up songs ever since. I told him to listen to more positive music, but he’s being emo and says that these bitter break-up songs are making him feel better. Are they really, or do they drag it out?”

I have done an entire program on how to get over anyone or anything fast, which just so happens to be on sale this weekend; visit my website to learn more.

The first question is: How long ago did he break up?  Was it a week ago, a month, or a year?  If it hasn’t been very long, then it’s somewhat understandable that he is still feeling down.  Especially when you consider that he is the one who got dumped.

Leaving is ALWAYS easier than being left, even if you know in your heart the relationship is over. And if he didn’t know it was over, he might still be trying to find some form of closure.

Except, as we’ve talked about before, closure is an illusion; we always want to know ‘why’, but there is no why.  It doesn’t matter what they say, since if they tell you “I left because you feet stink,” or “I left you because your best friend is hotter than you are,” it won’t make you feel particularly better!  The fact is, a relationship takes *two* committed individuals; when one of you checks out, it’s over.  Even if you try to keep going through the motions, it’s done.

So as for your specific question as to whether or not it’s good for him to listen to sad songs, the answer is: Maybe.  The Greeks had a concept known as a ‘catharsis’, which was the foundation of the Greek Tragedy style of storytelling.  The idea is pretty simple; you watch, read, or hear something so sad, so tragic, and so heartbreaking that all your negative emotions come out of you.  Basically it was a way to force a good cry.  So, if he genuinely does feel better when he listens to a sad break up song (I personally recommend Black by Pearl Jam), then let him.

Even if he curls up in a ball and cries afterwards, that’s probably good, too. The fact is, healing of all kinds takes as long as it takes, and you can’t rush it.  You are trying to help him by encouraging him to listen to positive stuff, but he may not be ready, willing, or able to; and quite frankly that’s ok.  If he’s not suicidal, let him grieve in his own way, and in his own time he’ll get over it.

Rent him the movie Swingers, or even better: Buy him my program!

You are great, and I love you!
And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me: http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything: http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha – Interfaith dialog

Gnostic Theism – Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

Love One Another – A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!

 

Q&A: ‘Why didn’t the Law of Attraction work for me?

posted by B. Dave Walters

Which way are you going?

Question submitted via Formspring:
“Dave, I went 21 days of Law of Attraction for 2 hours a day 20 minimum (sic), i went to buy my ticket and everything had all the faith why didn’t i win it?”
First, I assume you meant you bought a lottery ticket, which didn’t win.  Second, you are saying you spent 3 weeks preparing, at least 20 minutes a day (?), and as much as two hours?

The answer is simple: The Law of Attraction did not fail; it does not fail, ever.  Second, one of two things happened, possibly both: The other person believed it more than you did, or way deep down inside you didn’t really believe you’d win.

Consider, it took your entire life to get to the place you are in life right now.  You have a lifetime’s worth of beliefs about money, about wealthy people, about ‘working hard’, and everything else.  It takes a lot more than 3 weeks of concentration for a couple minutes a day to uproot all that.

The real test is, when you didn’t win, what was the first thought that went through your mind?  Was it “I knew I wouldn’t win,” or, “they were right, this is silly,” or ANYTHING other than “that’s interesting.  Something better must be coming my way,” then you weren’t thinking as positively as you might think.

This is a common mistake people make with the Law of Attraction, thinking that it’s a sort of magic wish granting genie, and anytime you don’t get exactly what you want it has “failed”.  But the exact opposite is true; the Law of Attraction shows you what you are really thinking and feeling, ALL of the time.

Now, we have already talked extensively about how to make the Law of Attraction more effective, but here are a few pointers.  First and foremost, don’t be too attached to HOW your goal will come to you.  For instance, you are fixated on winning the lottery, but the reality is you aren’t interested in winning the lottery, you are interested in having more money come into your life.  The lottery is one way, but it could just as easily come through a new job, a gift, or a multi-million dollar idea. So as you are directing your energy and emotions, direct it towards that.

But here’s the catch, you don’t really want the money, either; you want how the money will make you feel.  So focus on what you would do with that money.  Where would you go? What would you do? Who would you help? And how would that make you feel?

And above all else: Never give up, never give up, never, ever, ever give up.  Water boils at 212 degrees; if you get frustrated and turn the heat off at 210 degrees, you’ll get: Nothing.  Every time you allow yourself to become frustrated or distracted from your goal, it gets further away.  And you are also sending a message to God/The Universe saying you don’t really believe it’s on your side, either.

Start with smaller, faster goals to build up your faith and confidence.  Don’t try and manifest millions of dollars; manifest a cup of coffee, or a nice lunch, or an extra $500. As you start to accumulate small victories, it becomes easier and easier to manifest bigger ones.

Once you have the faith of a mustard seed…you can move mountains.

You are great, and I love you!
And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me: http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything: http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha – Interfaith dialog

Gnostic Theism – Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

Love One Another – A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!

 

 

Previous Posts

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