A Reason to Smile

A Reason to Smile


Q&A: Is it too late to work things out?

posted by B. Dave Walters

Sometimes you just have to let go

Question submitted via Formspring:
My husband and I are separated and “trying” to work it out – although it is very one sided. Sometimes I fear that if things were to work out, I won’t feel comfortable being intimate with him anymore…like a bond has been broken. Can it be repaired?

Even though you haven’t said it here, it seems like there was some form of infidelity involved that caused your separation; since he is trying to work it out (i.e. make it up to you), and you still care enough to try. Yet the trust has been breached too much to be willing to be intimate now.

Two things:
First, forgive him. Forgiving him doesn’t mean whatever he did was OK. All forgiveness means is you are giving up whatever negativity you still hold in your heart towards him and/or the situation; it’s a gift you give to *yourself *, not to him.

Secondly, you have to be willing to start from absolute scratch. Whatever happened, or if there wasn’t a ‘thing’ at all but you’ve just grown apart; either way your old relationship is dead. The covenant has been broken, and can not be reformed.

If you are going to have a future of any sort, you would have to wipe the slate absolutely clean and begin at the beginning. Go out on dates for a while before you move back in together, so you can decide if you even want to be together anymore.

And, when the dust settles, if you are done, you are done. If you have been hurt too badly to get past it, if you can forgive him but not forget it, then your relationship may truly be at it’s end. He can apologize all he wants, but somethings once they are broken can not be repaired.

If you look into your heart you know which one it is: start from scratch or move on. Here is a previous article on how to let go of someone that can help you make that transition, if that’s your choice. Keep us posted on how it turns out.

What do you think she should do? Feel free to comment down below!

You are great, and I love you!
And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me: http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything: http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha – Interfaith dialog

Gnostic Theism – Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

Love One Another – A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!

 

 



Previous Posts

The Spiritual Lessons of Superheroes
As of the time of this writing, San Diego Comic Con is starting up.  I'll be appearing on a panel on Spiritual Themes in Comics on Saturday at 6 PM in room 4...stop by and see me if you're in town!

posted 5:58:23am Jul. 24, 2014 | read full post »

Expectations and the Law of Attraction
“There were two ways to be happy: improve your reality, or lower your expectations” ― Jodi Picoult Question submitted via Formspring: “How can I use the Law of Attraction to remove nega

posted 2:54:31am Jun. 30, 2014 | read full post »

How to Avoid Disappointment and Feel at Peace
“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but thought about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral. It is as it is.” -Eckhart To

posted 10:43:30pm May. 31, 2014 | read full post »

A Message from Your Future Self
"The biggest human temptation is to settle for too little." -Thomas Merton Beloved, Once again, it has been ages since we last talked.  Too long. Of course, I have been here watching, and I see

posted 1:29:58am Apr. 28, 2014 | read full post »

Q&A: I love him, but I’m afraid all he wants is sex
Question submitted via Formspring: “Mr. Walters, I've been seeing this guy for about two and half months now. We spend lots of time together, sometimes he’ll call me just to chat and to see

posted 7:21:18pm Mar. 30, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.