A Reason to Smile

A Reason to Smile

Q&A: ‘I love him, but he doesn’t want a relationship’

posted by B. Dave Walters

Sometimes, no means no.

Question submitted via Facebook:

“Mr. Walters, I hope you can help me: There is this guy whom I really like. I told him about my feelings but he says that he doesn’t want to get into any relationship right now. I have been using the law of attraction but not so well; sometimes I feel that he may be the one for me and I must wait. But sometimes I feel that I’m too attached to him and this is not too good for me, and i must forget him. What do I do?”

If he doesn’t want a relationship, then he doesn’t want a relationship!

The question, then, is: are you willing to accept what he’s giving you now, or not? Does he still want the sex without the attachment, or is he not open to any sort of romantic connection?

Using the Law of Attraction is all well and good, but remember it can not override another person’s free will; you can not MAKE him do anything, you can only create the space to make him want to choose you.

The best advice, is to move on and look for a new guy. There are plenty of other men out there who would LOVE to be with someone like you; there is no reason to keep chasing someone who isn’t going to give you what you want.

If you insist on chasing this guy, then the first thing is: Learn how men think. For the most part, men don’t want to be chased; make him chase *you *. The best way to do this is to start dating new guys, and let him know you are doing it; once he knows you aren’t sitting by the phone waiting for him, he’ll automatically start paying you more attention.

Also, if you know there are certain T.V. Shows or sports he likes, start watching them and mentioning them to him. If his favorite fighter gets interviewed online, email him a link. If he looks good one day, tell him; but mention it in passing like it’s no big deal.

DO NOT bring up how you feel about him again, unless *he * brings it up to *you *; you don’t want to make him feel guilty, that is just going to make him start avoiding you.

So, to be clear: move on, he isn’t worth chasing.

And if you insist on chasing him, then take the time to turn yourself into his Mrs. Right and let him come to you.

Keep us posted on how it turns out.

What do you think she should do? Feel free to comment down below!

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B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me: http://about.me/BDaveWalters

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  • Girl0000

    Well, firstly, I’ve learned to let the guy initiate everything past hi and bye in the beginning, this way you know that the relationship is truly progressing because he also wants it to. If you do initiate and he says he doesn’t want a relationship, just move on, especially if it’s because you don’t measure up to his expectations. Never change yourself because I guarantee he won’t do it for you or anyone else. Just stick to hi and bye, and if he wants to spark up a conversation, then you respond if you want. Also, do not have sex with him if you want a relationship and he doesn’t. You’ll just be mistaking sex for romance.

  • BCollins

    I’m dealing with somewhat the same thing. The guy and I have been friends for a few years and he acts as if he likes me. He even tells me he loves me. So, I decided to take the plunge and bring up how I feel about him (which he already pretty much already knew) and well, it ended up being a huge mistake! His words to me were that he loves me too much to have me hate him later on if things don’t work and that that is why he would/will never have a relationship with me. I know him saying he loves me isn’t about sex since we’ve never been intimate. So what gives? Could he really be so afraid of losing me that he would rather keep me in the friend zone than give us a chance? I really don’t get it!!

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