Advertisement

A Reason to Smile

A Reason to Smile

Q&A: Do opposites really attract?

Ok...SOMETIMES opposites attract!

Question submitted via Formspring:
“Do you think opposites attract?”

The short answer is: no.

One (dis)advantage of life in Los Angeles, is everyone is working to be absolutely identical. It may appear like they are so different, but if you look close at the carefully manicured ‘shabby chic’ look, the preppy look, or one of a hand full of others, you’ll see the similarities.

Advertisement

So, why don’t opposites attract?
Realistically, you are not going to find your absolute twin out there; and in truth, you wouldn’t want it! If you totally agreed on *everything * you’d have nothing to discuss, and get pretty bored pretty fast.

The key, then, is to be in agreement on the IMPORTANT things.
For instance, if one of you is a raging Atheist, and the other is an evangelical Creationist, you are in trouble. If one of you thinks that sex is gross and sinful, and the other one frequents sex clubs, then you are in trouble.
If one of you wants to get married and have kids, and the other is afraid to commit, you are going to have problems.

A few pivotal areas you need to be more similar than dissimilar are:
*Marriage: do either of you want it, at least eventually?
*Children: do either of you want them, at least eventually?
*Religion: is it going to be a big deal in your house, and if so which one(s)?
*Politics: can you agree to disagree, or not?
*Finances: what are you working for?
*Home: do you want to own a home, and if so, where?
*Happiness: what does a good life look like to you?

Advertisement

There are many things you need to be in agreement on, but these are probably the bare minimum.
Now, it doesn’t mean you have to be IDENTICAL in belief on these topics, but you need to be able to respect each other’s opinions and differences. If one of you likes action movies and the other likes ballet, you need to be able to compromise and do both from time to time.
As I said before, if one of you wants to have 10 children and live on the planes of Wyoming and the other wants no kids and a 10 million dollar penthouse in Manhattan, you have a problem.

As in anything, there is room for compromise; but that other person needs to volunteer to give up what they want, rather than be nagged or convinced to. Since they may say they don’t want to have that Mercedes Benz if you think think it’s a bad idea, if you aren’t careful you set yourself up for decades of buried resentment that tends to manifest as affairs and wrecked marriages down the road.

Advertisement

Make sure you and your mate agree on the fundamentals and can respect each other where you disagree. Don’t let either one of you make ALL the decisions, and let everyone have an opportunity to do what makes them happy. And as always, COMMUNICATE, since if you can’t communicate, you don’t have a relationship.

You are great, and I love you!

And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!

B. Dave Walters

Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me:
http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything:
http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Advertisement

Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha — Interfaith dialog

Gnostic Theism — Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

Love One Another — A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!

 

 

 

Previous Posts

Q&A: I love him, but I'm afraid all he wants is sex II
  Question submitted via Formspring: “I need advice. I've been seeing this guy for about 8 months now. We started out with a very casual relationship. We would hang out and we would have sex. That's it. It was fun at first but as ...

posted 2:38:37am Apr. 13, 2015 | read full post »

An Eclipse, an Equinox, and a Super Moon, oh my!
Friday, March 20, 2015 will mark a very powerful alignment of energies that will burn you up if you’re not careful, or propel you like a rocket if you make use of them! Three major events are taking place, with several other events ...

posted 6:14:17pm Mar. 19, 2015 | read full post »

Are you growing, or just growing older?
“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was ...

posted 4:27:15am Feb. 18, 2015 | read full post »

How to feel happy, and be at peace
“You always own the option of having no opinion. There is never any need to get worked up or to trouble your soul about things you can't control. These things are not asking to be judged by you. Leave them alone.” ― Marcus Aurelius, ...

posted 11:14:28pm Jan. 19, 2015 | read full post »

How to motivate yourself…finally!
“It's a New Year and with it comes a fresh opportunity to shape our world. So this is my wish, a wish for me as much as it is a wish for you: in the world to come, let us be brave – let us walk into the dark without fear, and step into ...

posted 10:59:22pm Jan. 02, 2015 | read full post »

Advertisement


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.