A Reason to Smile

A Reason to Smile


Q&A: I caught him cheating and we broke up; but has he moved on?

posted by B. Dave Walters

(Unedited) Question submitted via Formspring:

Yes, it really is that simple

“I’ve broke up with my boyfriend for kissing and texting another girl and recently i wanted him back but he said he didn’t want a

relationship. I’ve recently found out that he is meeting up with girls and texting them. Does this mean he’s moved on?”

First, let’s break this one down into pieces:

  1. You caught him cheating.
  2. You broke up with him (the right move).
  3. You wanted him back, for some reason (?).
  4. He doesn’t want a relationship with YOU now.
  5. You have been checking up on him (“I recently found out”).
  6. He is now texting and hooking up with multiple girls.
  7. And now, you are wondering if he has moved on.

Yes.

Yes he has moved on.

A better question is: why do you care anymore?

Since according to what you wrote, he moved on way before you broke up with him!
Consider: you only broke up because you caught *him* cheating, which may have been the first time, or the 100th time; there is no way to know for sure.  Since you broke up, he has continued doing the exact same thing, and he seems unwilling to stop.

And he TOLD you he doesn’t want to stop, aka he doesn’t want a relationship.

So I ask again, why would you be upset by a guy who cheated on you, and by extension you cannot trust who has told you directly he doesn’t want to be together has moved on?

What is it that has made you think so little of yourself that one, you deserve to be treated like this by someone; two, you can’t find any better, and three, you’d actually CHASE such a person?

Not only has he moved on, but in the process he has done you a HUGE favor, by not jerking you around for years, and giving you the opportunity to put some time in working on yourself.

Instead of trying to figure out why he doesn’t love you, use this time to start truly loving yourself, since how much you love yourself is not only the limit of how much you can love someone else, but how much you can let them love you in return.

And as you begin the process of truly loving yourself, you’ll recognize you don’t deserve to be treated like this by anyone…because until you realize that you’ll almost certainly find away to keep attracting cheaters.   You’ll also need to learn how to forgive yourself  for everything that has happened up until now, and the people who have hurt you up until now…him included.   Only then will you have created the space for the type of open, loving relationship you truly deserve.

Because  I’m here to tell you: you deserve much, much, better than this.

What do you think ? Feel free to comment down below!

You are great, and I love you!

And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!

B. Dave Walters

Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me:
http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything:
http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha  – Interfaith dialog

Gnostic Theism – Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

Love One Another –  A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!

    

 

 



Previous Posts

Q&A: I love him, but I’m afraid all he wants is sex
Question submitted via Formspring: “Mr. Walters, I've been seeing this guy for about two and half months now. We spend lots of time together, sometimes he’ll call me just to chat and to see

posted 7:21:18pm Mar. 30, 2014 | read full post »

It’s okay to not be okay
“Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body.” ― Seneca On a recent episode of Rise UP with B. Dave Walters: Simple Answers to Life's Hard Questions we talked about getting up after fall

posted 5:10:14am Mar. 08, 2014 | read full post »

How to love again
“To be rejected by someone doesn't mean you should also reject yourself or that you should think of yourself as a lesser person. It doesn't mean that nobody will ever love you anymore. Remember that

posted 4:04:09am Feb. 06, 2014 | read full post »

Resolving to do better in 2014
Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right. -Oprah Winfrey Every year around January 1, we take out a piece of paper and list our resolutions; all kinds of things we are 'resolving

posted 12:58:03am Jan. 02, 2014 | read full post »

Why you can’t sleep at night, and how to fix it.
In my Coaching work, one of the most common complaints I hear is of people not being able to sleep at night.  Whether it’s not being able to fall asleep, stay asleep, or not being able to get your

posted 5:27:42am Dec. 09, 2013 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.