A Reason to Smile

Nagging == not helping

(Unedited) Question submitted via Facebook :
“It’s 3 am and just post it something in my wall and the first person I wanted to say something was you. Is amazing how much you can help ppl that u don’t even know. My boyfriend and I have been having some problems and tonight after a short discussion it hit me that the way I am been is pushing him away and as much as he says he will always be there I know I have to change. We were together for 3 yrs and broke up and got back with each other after almost 3 yrs. I know he loves me deeply as I do too. I just need to change my insecurity and feel good about myself. We have been having intimacy problems but we hope that that will change. This is kind of embarrassing to say but he says my breath bothers him and it turns him off, so I went to get some help and it just really expensive I am just scared that he will never get over that even after the problem is fixed. This problem doesn’t help my self-esteem. I have been nagging a lot lately and I want to change really bad just don’t know where to start my head just goes round and round and I over analyze everything and I drive myself crazy and of course him too. I want to use the secret and my positive attitude to be happy it just my negative thoughts always overcome the good ones. I need help want to change I don’t want to loss this great guy that is patient and that I love. This is what I wrote in my wall: Is 3am and it just hit me how lucky I am. Life has giving me a second chance, kicking cancer booty wasn’t easy but I am here breathing. Life has given me a second chance to be with the man that I truly love, he is patient and loves me for who I am I have a family that sacrificed everything that they had so they won’t loose me. I have amazing friends. Sometimes we don’t appreciate what is in front of us thinking that it will always be there, I am thankful for all these people that make my life extra special. I am a lucky girl. I am here and can’t wait for life to show me what is in storage. Good things are coming!!!

Please help me give some tips on what to do. Sorry I just went off and told you everything prob it doesn’t even make sense It just felt right because I know you don’t judge people. I hope u can give me some ideas on how to fix this. And please send some positive thought and energy my way.”
Thanks for taking the time to read this.”

Thank you for sharing all of this, I really appreciate it.
If you were tough enough to beat cancer, than dealing with this will be easy!

Here in Los Angeles we get every type of insecurity; and it can’t be easy when there is something medical going on that isn’t helping.
Here are a few easy things you can do to resolve the breath issue. Don’t feel too bad, it happens to all of us at one time or another!
First, lay off of things that can give you bad breath, like milk, alcohol, coffee, or smoking (obviously). You can also:
Eat parsley.
Drink pineapple juice.
Use a tongue scraper.
Gargle with lemon water
Rinse with hydrogen peroxide before brushing (tough, but effective!).
Brush with baking soda (ideally) twice a day, or after every meal if possible.
Drink Fenugreek tea, or take capsules.
And, if you know you are going to be intimate, go hit the Listerine first…which is good advice for everyone!

Now that biology is out of the way, let’s look at what’s going on inside your head.

The first question I have: what is it that you are afraid of?
The Law of Attraction won’t help you until your mind is clear, if anything it will work against you if you are putting all your energy towards fear and anxiety. So YOU have to change before the Law will change.
When your mind starts wandering towards these negative thoughts, what is it that you worry about?
Presumably you are worried about losing him, but remember:all fear lives in the future. You are worried about something that hasn’t happened yet; the reality is, you have him NOW. Don’t sabotage what you have out of fear what might happen in the future.

The Second question is, what meaning are you attaching to things, and what beliefs have you chosen to form? For instance, maybe you think being a cancer survivor, or having a little breath issue makes you unworthy of love. Maybe you can’t truly accept his love and affection, since you don’t really believe you deserve it.

Remember, everything starts with self-love; he can’t love you any more than you love you. Start by realizing how great you are, how beautiful, loving, and strong you are. Stop trying to fill a gap you perceive in yourself with his affection or anyone else’s; the approval you are looking for can only come from within.

You are enough, right now as you are; you are good enough.
He’s there and loves you, and you deserve to be loved.
Just because a thought pops up in your head, doesn’t mean you have to believe it! When the fear pops up, let it go and direct your thoughts back to positive things. Focus on loving YOU, and *letting him love you *, and your fear, paranoia and insecurity will starve on it’s own.

Keep us posted on how it turns out.

What do you think ? Feel free to comment down below!

You are great, and I love you!

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B. Dave Walters

Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

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