“He who angers you, conquers you” -Elizabeth Kenny
I have a confession to make: Los Angeles can *kind of * get under your skin.
When you come here, it seems like it’s full of negative people, but that’s not really the truth. The fact is, the people here are all MASSIVELY self absorbed. So, once you realize that no one really cares about you because they are too busy caring about themselves, things become much easier!
The point I am making, is that in general, people aren’t really out to get you.
They are way too busy dealing with their own baggage and difficulties to be focused on you one way or another!
In the video below I explain several ways to deal with ‘negative’ people, and how to become everyone’s favorite person in the process.
For this article, I want to explain a few things I may have left out of the video.
I’m going to explain to you one the absolute biggest keys to attaining freedom and peace of mind. It’s very simple; a single word actually.
Bill Cosby said it best: “I don’t know the secret of success, but the secret of failure is to try and please everyone”. Sometimes, you won’t be able to make everyone happy. In fact, you’ll almost never be able to make EVERYONE happy; the important thing is to make sure *you * are happy.
That means turning down things you don’t really want to do in the first place. That means not always agreeing to other people’s demands without standing up for yourself.
It means having the courage to say no.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not saying to become a jerk; far from it. I am saying to make your word your bond; absolute law. When you commit to something, follow through all the way, 100% of the time.
But choose carefully before you commit.
People ask me all the time, ‘isn’t it selfish of me to pursue my goals when I can be pleasing everyone else?’. Yes, yes it is; think of it as a Divine Selfishness. The more you give to yourself, the more you will have to give to others!
So as you decide what you want out of this life, as you decide to follow your bliss, people may not understand why you can’t go to the bar with them like you used to. Or why you can’t help them reorganize their garage because you are studying for your Masters. Decide what you need for you, and do it.
There is one exception to this, however: your spouse and your kids.
If you need to carve out more time for yourself and your goals, that is fine; but sit down with the family and work out a plan everyone can agree on. If you can’t be at every little league game, explain to your children why you’re doing it and what you’re trying to create; decide together what games they really need you to be at and COMMIT to it. Don’t let them down!
If you don’t communicate with the people you love and compromise a little, you can end up being the person who’s made it to the mountaintop, but made it there alone.
And one other thing:
There is only one way in which every single human being on Earth is completely equal, and that is time. We all have the same 168 hours in a week. Jesus Christ, Buddha, Alexander the Great and Bill Gates did what they did all with the same 168 hours you have.
I know this seems like a contradiction, I just told you you can’t do everything for everyone, and then I said you have enough time to do anything!
The point is you have all the time in the world to get what *you * need to get done, done. To meet your goals and your obligations; to fulfill your mental, physical, social, emotional and spiritual needs. There is time to make it all happen, but you may have to reschedule Wednesday poker night to one Friday a month.
Does that make sense?
Combine the ability to relate to people I discuss in the video with the discernment and time management I am discussing here, and you have everything you need to take over the world!
What do you think ? Feel free to comment down below!
You are great, and I love you!
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B. Dave Walters
Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host
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