“Condemnation without investigation is the height of ignorance.” — Albert Einstein
Despite all the time we’ve spent talking about Change up until now, we have tiptoed around the real foundation of change, and what it takes to make it.
Everything you are in life, is a combination of your genetic, such as your height, weight, race, and basic personality; your experiences, and your beliefs, either that you have been taught, or chose to adopt.
In the video below, I share several important points, such as:
Where your beliefs come from, and how they define you; how to know what your ‘limiting beliefs’ are, and how to over come them, and how to change your thinking in order to change ANYTHING in your life!
So, this is one of those times that I have got some good news, and some bad news.
The bad news is, everything that is ‘wrong’ in your life, EVERYTHING that you don’t like, was created by you. You may blame someone else for it, but it’s totally and 100% because of you.
I’ll give you a second to process that before we go on.
The GOOD news, however, is because you created it, you can change it at any time. At *any * time.
So many people resist this idea, that they are the cause of all of their own problems, since it is so much easier to blame someone else, or circumstances, or fate, or God, then look in the mirror.
Remember: attachment is the root of all suffering!
It isn’t what happens to us, but how we *respond * to it that matters.
But here is the #1 thing you need to understand if you are ever going to have a truly joyous, successful and fulfilled life:
You can control everything, or you can’t control anything.
Let me repeat: you can control EVERYTHING, or you can’t control ANYTHING.
This is the real secret to using the Law of Attraction, and any other form of goal setting, personal development, or anything else; you have to begin by believing it is truly within your power to create whatever it is you want. To cultivate that sense of ‘positive paranoia’ that God and the Universe are on your side, and that forces are conspiring to make you happy and successful.
So, then, what is it that you believe?
Look at any area of your life that is working well, and see what you believe there. Then, look at some area that isn’t working, and see what you believe there.
If you’re not sure, look at your results. Whatever you are manifesting in your life is what you REALLY believe in your subconscious mind, no matter what you *think * you believe.
One of the main things I have found in my Life Coaching work, is that the vast majority of our problems are rooted in our relationships with our parents. Not because of what they actually DID, but because of what we made what they did (or didn’t do), *mean *.
For instance, if your father was abusive, chances are high that you decided one of two things, if not both: that people who love you are abusive, or you aren’t worthy of true and genuine affection.
Or if your mother cheated on your father, maybe you adopted the belief that women can’t be trusted, and that marriage was pointless because everyone cheats.
As a general rule, anytime you believe that ALL (blank) people / situations are ALWAYS (blank), you’re in trouble. Nothing is true of everyone, all the time, no matter what.
But here is the thing: many of the things you hold to be absolutely and completely true in this life were things you were taught as a child, or rooted in experiences you had as a child. But, those were decisions made BY a child, that you are continuing to play out in your adult life!
You are living based on the world view of a 5, 10, or 12 year old!
But you know what? You don’t have to.
“Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.”
Any idea you’ve held, anything you believe, is not set in stone.
The definition of a limiting belief, is anything you believe that does not serve you; that does not make your life better by believing it.
A lot of our religious programming is to blame for this, but I am pretty sure that God’s idea of what sin is, is probably wildly different from yours. Or cultural ideas that things just HAVE to be a certain way. That you HAVE to marry (or not marry) a certain type of person of a certain race, religion, or creed.
As I have said before, I try not to be ‘too American’ when I talk about these things, but there is only one person who’s opinion of you matters: and that is YOURS.
So, then, let us start adapting new beliefs about ourselves, about each other, and about the world.
First, start off by thinking: how would you LIKE to believe the world is? Put aside your own past experience and conditioning, and just dream, how would you like the world to be?
And once you have an idea of how you’d like the world to be, start looking for proof that it already IS that way. For instance, if you currently believe people are ‘bad’, and want to believe that they are ‘good’, learn about the charitable acts of people like Mother Theresa. (Or, learn more about how and why people do what they do).
Or if you believe that success can only come with hard work and difficulties, start learning more about happy, successful, and ‘lucky’ people, who things just work out for.
Once you start to convince yourself that what you want to believe is even POSSIBLE, then it’s repetition, repetition, repetition.
Repetition is the mother of skill!
What I mean is, when you run into a circumstance that would have triggered you, say your boyfriend or girlfriend gets a phone call that they step out of the room to take, and you instantly believe they are cheating on you. Remind yourself that this person loves you, and there are plenty of faithful guys and girls in the world, and relax.
Actually, this speaks to a deeper point that I almost forgot!
Look at what you believe about YOU!
If you are stuck in a toxic relationship, ask yourself what is it in you that thinks you deserve to be treated that way? If you are in a job that you hate, what is it that makes you think you don’t deserve better?
Look at your life, decide what isn’t working, and what it means you MUST believe already, in order to have it be this way. Decide how you’d like it to be, and what you need to believe in order to have that instead, and keep at reminding yourself and focusing on that until the new reality starts to manifest.
Keep at it; it’s simple, but not easy!
I actually want to leave you with one more quote (three in one article, a new record!):
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
—-from A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson.
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B. Dave Walters
Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host
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