(Unedited) Question submitted via Formspring:
“I’m 30 female..but there is a child soul inside me,,, it makes me happy,,,but people dislike it,, they keep saying you are old old old girl you are not pretty to act like that… no one will marry you cos you are expired so grow up …tell me what to do?
Well first, I can’t ‘tell you what to do’, I can only offer my opinion!
So let’s break this down into pieces:
- You are a 30 year old female.
- You are unmarried.
- You have a ‘child soul’ that ‘makes you happy’
- ‘People’ (what people?) say ‘you shouldn’t act like that’ (act how?)
- ‘They’ say no one will marry you because you haven’t grown up.
- It looks like you *want* to get married, or you wouldn’t have asked the question.
It also appears that you are not from the United States, so there may be a lot of pressure on you to act a certain way in order to get the approval of your parents, family, or community.
There is a world of difference between being youthful and care-free, and being immature.
If you are 30 years old and you like ALL the same things you liked in High School and still dress that way; if your favorite singer is Justin Bieber and your favorite book is Twilight, those might be red flags…since those things are designed for children.
Yes, I said it ladies!
However, if you have a job, pay your own bills and have your own home (if your culture allows it), AND you just happen to like those type things, that’s not all bad. It’s fine to like simple pleasures (I know 30 year olds who watch the Care Bears…by themselves), but only as long as you taking care of your responsibilities first.
The true definition of being an adult is when you stop relying on other people, and people start relying on you. You’re not being taken care of by your parents; you are taking care of yourself. If you want people to perceive you as an adult, make sure you are someone who can be counted on to do what needs to be done. If you are not working, or don’t have your own place, then you can help with the chores around the house…or do them all. Try having dinner ready for everyone when they come home; or if cooking isn’t your thing try having the house clean and tidy. If neither cooking nor cleaning are for you, then start working to bring in extra money in to pay the bills. At 30 you should be more than able to run a household. If you realize you aren’t, start learning how to do it, since when you do get married you’ll have a house to run!
Once you start doing these things, or if you are already doing these things, then you have nothing else to worry about. If you have a child’s heart but an adult’s brain; if you know how to have fun while knowing how to get things done, then you have nothing else to worry about.
You are great, and I love you!
And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!
B. Dave Walters
Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host
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