A Reason to Smile

A Reason to Smile


Q&A: “Am I subconsciously racist or just have a certain type?”

posted by B. Dave Walters

My Hero(es)!

Question submitted via Formspring:

“My friends say I’m racist because I’m not sexually attracted to certain races. I have friends from all races and treat everyone equally but I’m just not sexually attracted at all to a couple races. Am I subconsciously racist or just have a certain type?”

No, not being attracted to certain types of people does not make you racist…as long as you aren’t thinking thoughts like “I’m not attracted to those people because they are all criminals”; or some sort of negative judgment about all those types of people.   If you truly have friends of all kinds, and don’t automatically lock your doors or grab your purse when certain types of people are nearby, then it’s probably nothing.

Since everyone has things they like and don’t like, yours just happens to break down along racial/ethnic lines.  I know there are things that I don’t like at all; it doesn’t matter how wonderful the person is, if certain things are there (or not there) then there is NO chance of ever having a romantic relationship.  The big distinction is you shouldn’t feel like people with certain skin colors/body types/bank account sizes are ‘less’ than someone else’s, or something like that.  If THAT is happening, then yes you might actually be a little racist/sexist/classicist.

I had a friend who was dating someone who was not their ideal physical type.  My friend kept trying to rationalize that they SHOULD be attracted to this person, but the spark wasn’t there.  Long story short, they wasted a lot of time trying to convince themselves something was there that just wasn’t before they finally broke up.  Imagine what would have happened if they’d waited 20 years to admit it?  What if they’d had children stuck in the middle of it all?  It’s much better to be honest with yourself about what is and is not attractive and acceptable to you, and go with it.

As for what your friends say…it doesn’t matter what they think.  If you know in your heart you’ve got nothing against certain races as human beings, it’s just that they don’t ‘ring your bell’ as it were, you don’t owe them any other explanation.   You are the one that has to spend time with this person, wake up next to them, and maybe spend your life with them; as long as you are happy with your choices (and so is your potential mate), then nothing else matters.

You are great, and I love you!

And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!

B. Dave Walters

Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me:
http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything:
http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha  — Interfaith dialog

Gnostic Theism — Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

Love One Another —  A safe place to come find more reasons to smile!

       



Previous Posts

The bad news about pursuing your dreams
We talked recently about what to do to have you breakthrough, and soon afterwards a friend contacted me about a hang up he’s having.  Essentially, he’s been in action towards achieving his

posted 1:13:09am Oct. 27, 2014 | read full post »

A full moon, a Blood Moon, and a Hunter’s moon; oh my!
Starting on October 8, his week will have a particularly powerful alignment when we have a Blood Moon, a Hunter’s Moon, AND a full moon in Aries will be happening all at once!  This is a particularly powerf

posted 2:44:05am Oct. 08, 2014 | read full post »

What to do to have your breakthrough
“Believe and act as if it were impossible to fail.” – Charles Kettering As of this week, I’ll have been writing these articles for five years, and to celebrate, I want to share with you so

posted 4:09:20am Oct. 06, 2014 | read full post »

How to make use of the Autumnal Equinox
September 23, 2014 marks the Autumnal Equinox, the second day of the year when day and night are exactly equal. The Fall (Autumnal) Equinox is important, since it signifies the transition into the 'dark cy

posted 5:35:26am Sep. 23, 2014 | read full post »

3 Simple rules for a happy life
"You always own the option of having no opinion. There is never any need to get worked up or to trouble your soul about things you can't control. These things are not asking to be judged by you. Leave them alo

posted 4:38:45am Sep. 20, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.