Advertisement

A Reason to Smile

A Reason to Smile

Q&A: “Why do all guys cheat?”

All these guys only have one thing in common....

(Unedited) Question submitted via Formspring
“Hello Dave, I must admit that I like your articles on beliefnet and will like you to keep it up. My question is why is it so hard trying to get involved with a guy that doesn’t cheat, because all the guys I have been with had cheated at one time or the other.”

Advertisement

First of all, let me say clearly: not all guys cheat, since I myself never have and I have several guy friends who never have.

That being said, though: *LOTS* of guys do cheat.   And there are two main reasons why you keep ending up with guys who do:

The first is rather simple, and unavoidable: it is impossible for a man to stop looking at other women; he can’t help it, it’s in his blood.  But that is NOT an excuse for cheating; being able to control our impulses is what makes us different from the animals.

The second, much bigger reason you are having problems: you pick the wrong guys.

Advertisement

It seems based on your statement “because all the guys I have been with had cheated at one time or the other” you have what Dr. Drew calls ‘a broken picker’.  For whatever reason, you gravitate towards the type of guy who ultimately cannot be trusted, and there is probably a very good reason why.

Look at your relationship with your father and his relationship with your mother.

Chances are extremely high that either 1. Dad cheated on mom, 2. Dad wasn’t around, or 3. Both.

It is very possible that you learned at a young age that ‘men who love me cheat/leave’, and you’ve been living into it ever since.  If the issue isn’t with Dad, if you look into your early life, there is probably someone close to you who violated your trust, or seemed to leave you when you needed them most.

Advertisement

The solution, also has two parts:  1. Recognize you have a broken picker, and that the first guy who gets your attention is probably not the best guy to get involved with.  I for my part am attracted to crazy girls with lots of baggage; once I realized this and started paying more attention I was able to find the right woman and have been happily married ever since.

2. Forgive the person who hurt you, even if you weren’t consciously aware that it hurt before now.

Since it is only after your forgive them for what they did (or didn’t do) that you can be free from this pattern and able to create something new.

Advertisement

Add to this truly loving yourself and recognizing that you are good enough and your problem will magically fade away.

You are great, and I love you!
And if you love me back, click subscribe over on the right hand side!

B. Dave Walters

Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me:
http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything:
http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Advertisement

Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha  — Interfaith dialog

Gnostic Theism — Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

Love One Another —  A safe place to come find more reasons to smile!

Previous Posts

How to let go of pain and move on
If you look at your life, you might start to notice a pattern emerge: Certain kinds of relationships, certain kinds of job situations, certain ...

posted 10:49:37pm Apr. 10, 2016 | read full post »

Q&A: Love, Death, and Magic with Tomas Prower
Tomas Prower is the author of La Santa Muerte: Unearthing the Magic & Mysticism ...

posted 7:08:01am Mar. 02, 2016 | read full post »

Exclusive interview with Radhika Vekaria of Temperheart
Radhika Vekaria is one half of the singer/songwriter duo TemperHeart. Ms. Vekaria left behind a successful career in England in order to move to Los Angeles and pursue her lifelong dream of being a professional singer.  In this exclusive ...

posted 10:29:10pm Feb. 07, 2016 | read full post »

Q&A: I’m struggling with online dating; help!
Question submitted via About.me/BDaveWalters: “Okay, your post said if I am struggling with online dating to message you. Here I am struggling with online dating! [caption id="attachment_1505" align="alignright" width="300"] It's time to ...

posted 6:14:12am Jan. 18, 2016 | read full post »

The Reason for the Season; Or, Would Jesus Celebrate Christmas?
On a recent episode of my radio show, Rise UP with B. Dave Walters we discussed the true meaning of Christmas, and how to deal with some of the negative emotions that can come along with it.  I got so emotional while talking about the meaning ...

posted 2:52:45am Dec. 23, 2015 | read full post »

Advertisement


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.