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If he 'just wants to be friends'...LEAVE HIM

(Unedited) Questions submitted via Formspring:
“Been dating this man who has been living with me for 8 months. One minute he is talking about the future with me & next he is saying he is not in love with me and he just wants to be my friend. We still kiss, hug & hold hands. What should I think or do.”

 

 

This one is complicated, since you live together; so things are probably going to get messy whatever you choose.

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This guy is obviously confused, which means 1. there is someone else, 2. he has commitment issues, or both.

Think about it: the line between ‘oh my God, I am so in love with you’ and ‘hey buddy’ is pretty clear; so if he can’t choose there is something else at work.

My suggestion is back off; back waaaaay off, and do it fast!
Don’t necessarily try and have the ‘what’s going on with us’ talk, since if he says the wrong thing there will be a lot of tension in the house. Just stop acting like his girlfriend, and let him pursue you; don’t try to get him to spend time with you, don’t initiate contact; let him do all those things.

He’ll either realize you are slipping away and get himself together, or whatever is really going on with him will be revealed.

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Don’t just keep going like you are going now, though; it will only lead to a bad place as you get more and more attached and he gets more and more indecisive. Remember: words lie, but actions tell the truth; you don’t have to confront him, since what he does will reveal how he feels.

What do you think they should do? Feel free to comment down below!

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B. Dave Walters
Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me:
http://about.me/BDaveWalters

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