Advertisement

A Reason to Smile

A Reason to Smile

Q&A: Do you believe that there is “The One”? Because I think I lost him….

(Unedited) question submitted via Formspring
“Do you believe that there is “The One”? Because I think I lost him. He was everything I ever wanted, I let him go and now I realize there is no one like him. I don’t want anyone else. I try to get him back. He is my “rock” it’s so hard without him…”

First, let us break this down into pieces:
1. You had a guy who was everything you ever wanted.
2. He is your ‘rock’ and ‘there is no one like him’.
3. You ‘let him go’…but ‘don’t want anyone else’.
4. You try to get him back, and you ‘think you lost him’.

Advertisement

First and foremost: people come and go in our lives, there is no ‘One’.
As long as you have someone you can trust, respect, love and grow with who can trust, respect, love, and grow with you, then the relationship makes sense.

Notice, love is number three on that list. The reason why that is, is you can love someone who is TERRIBLE for you! Contrary to popular opinion, love is *not* enough to build a successful relationship on.
Respect is even more important in a healthy relationship, and trust is most important of all simply because you can’t respect someone you don’t trust.

Now, to your specific question:
You need to pull back from him and work on loving yourself, first.

Advertisement

The issue is you are trying to use him to fill a hole in yourself; something that comes up all the time with the entertainment industry here in Los Angeles. So many people are looking for outside affection, when the reality is the love you are looking for can only TRULY come from within.

Remember, you can *never * love anyone more than you love yourself, and you won’t let anyone else love you more than you love yourself. Even if they try, you’ll block it; and if you just rush back into the relationship, you’ll do it again.

Even IF you were to end up getting back together, you’ll have to start over completely from scratch: ground zero, day one. Like you just met, and are dating for the first time, because whatever issues caused you to break up in the first place are still there.

Advertisement

If you both agree to begin at the beginning, then you’ll need to work on your communication because if you can’t communicate, you don’t have a relationship. Remember, you cannot nag, complain, or guilt a man to doing what you want for long…if you are going to be together, be together; if you aren’t, don’t.

But to be clear: the first, second, and third things you need to focus on are YOU and getting your self esteem up. Once you do, he’ll either be willing to try again, or you can let him go and move on to find a guy who will.

Keep us posted on how it turns out.
What do you think she should do? Feel free to comment down below!

You are great, and I love you!
And if you love me back, click subscribe over on the right hand side!

Advertisement

B. Dave Walters
Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me:
http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything:
http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Previous Posts

Exclusive interview with Radhika Vekaria of Temperheart
Radhika Vekaria is one half of the singer/songwriter duo TemperHeart. Ms. Vekaria left behind a successful career in England in order to move to Los Angeles and pursue her lifelong dream of being a professional singer.  In this exclusive ...

posted 10:29:10pm Feb. 07, 2016 | read full post »

Q&A: I’m struggling with online dating; help!
Question submitted via About.me/BDaveWalters: “Okay, your post said if I am struggling with online dating to message you. Here I am struggling with online dating! [caption id="attachment_1505" align="alignright" width="300"] It's time to ...

posted 6:14:12am Jan. 18, 2016 | read full post »

The Reason for the Season; Or, Would Jesus Celebrate Christmas?
On a recent episode of my radio show, Rise UP with B. Dave Walters we discussed the true meaning of Christmas, and how to deal with some of the negative emotions that can come along with it.  I got so emotional while talking about the meaning ...

posted 2:52:45am Dec. 23, 2015 | read full post »

Thankfulness During Difficult Times (Video)
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving here in the U.S., but I want to take some time out from cooking turkey to have a quick talk about what you're ...

posted 2:03:12am Nov. 26, 2015 | read full post »

Making use of the last Super Moon of 2015
October 27 will mark the last of three consecutive ‘Super Moon’ full moons of 2015. This month has already been a very high-energy time, which may have resulted in thin skins, and more than a few sleepless nights.  [caption ...

posted 1:52:51am Oct. 25, 2015 | read full post »

Advertisement


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.