Aperture of Light

Graduating college and now being in a place where I am “free” and have billions of possible directions to go in has been teaching me a lot of things.

First off, I went through a period of obsessing over what in the world God was calling me to.  I just wanted to know so bad.  I spent a lot of time in prayer (which is definitely a good thing, don’t get me wrong) but I suppose I was praying for the wrong things.  I asked God basically to reveal his ultimate goal (will) for my life so that I could start taking steps to get there.

I also started thinking, If there weren’t so many options, it would be so much easier to know where to go, what to do, etc.  We live in a world of endless possibilities.  We have the freedom to live almost anywhere and be almost anything we want to be.  I juggled possibilities for months.  Should I go to grad school now?  Should I go travel the world?  Should I try to get a full time job?  What should I go to grad school for?  I love so many different things!  How can I combine them all??  But then, are these selfish ambitions?  What does God want me to do?

Well for one, God has shown me so much more of who I am and I have a better idea of what He may be calling me into, but I also know that I’m not supposed to know the whole plan!  How can we possibly trust God to lead us through everyday if we are obsessing over knowing the outcome?

I know that God put me where I am for a reason.  He has work for me here and now.  I am discovering one small piece at a time and I believe that is how God planned it to be.

Instead of focusing on where we can go next to do better work for God, why not focus on the work that we are doing where we are now.

We also do not have to be missionaries or pastors to do good works for God.  Some are called to be missionaries and pastors but some are not.  We are all given different gifts and God is making each of us into the man or woman that He planned us to be BUT this does not happen overnight.  We will continuously grow into who God is making us to be throughout our entire walk with Him.

The most important thing that I have learned is to focus on the way that God has called us to live.  You are always in the will of God no matter how many “wrong directions” you think you go in.  He uses every decision we make in a way that further makes us into who we’re meant to be.  I’m not saying just to do whatever you want, though.

If we are living our lives following Jesus and his teachings and commandments, we are free to make decisions based on these, prayerfully.  It’s just not right to blame God for “not telling us what to do” when He did give us a free will.  I believe that we are to read His word and pray about every decision but most times we have to be the one to make the decision based on what we feel God is calling us to.

The world may also make you think that you have to do certain things or you are inadequate. Like..getting a “respectable” full-time job.  Respectable meaning “well paying” and “well utilizing of your skills” in most cases.  Well, yes I agree it would be nice to have a job that utilized my skills.  But maybe now is not that time.  God knows His plan for us.  Where we are now is making us into who we are meant to be.  So, with this in mind, I have come to accept, be content with, and very much enjoy my current jobs, where I live and everything about the future.  I am focusing on how I can best serve God while I am here and with the people that I meet.  I don’t have to “be in ministry” to be in ministry.

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