Anyone familiar with my story knows I suffered from depression for years and was pretty miserable and suicidal. I have learned to retrain my mind so I can be happy no matter what is happening in my life.
While writing my latest book on angels, saints and ascended masters I had the opportunity to do a lot of research on Saints. I created a file for each saint, compiled all the information and then one by one I would spend time with each saint.
agatha One morning I was sitting in my car waiting for a friend. I opened the file for Saint Agatha. She had her breast cut off and was rolled over hot coals and broken pottery. I apologized to her and closed the file. I told her it was too early in the morning for so much suffering.

When I finally got in touch with her I was deeply moved. I learned a lot from all the saints. Yes, they endured physical torture but as I got to know them I realized they never suffered. They had such a profound connection with their spirit, with their divinity, and with God that they were sustained by that connection.
The magistrate had Saint Agatha’s breasts crushed, cut off and then had her thrown back into prison. She prayed and St. Peter came to her in a vision that night and healed her breasts. The magistrate was enraged that she had healed so he had her rolled over hot coals and she died. My first reaction was to the physical suffering and my thought was why do pious people get persecuted?
Then I meditated with St. Agatha and I realized she never suffered. She didn’t feel persecuted she was filled with peace and love. She just loved God. Witnesses mentioned the look of peace in her face when she died.
Life is and then we tell ourselves a story. We spend most of our life thinking about life instead of experiencing what’s really real. This world is a vast energy system and we are all connected. We are one but when we believe our mind we feel separate. We have what I call a filter system – a collection of beliefs, agreements and assumptions.
When I was depressed I believed my filter system was reality. My inner dialog would have made anyone miserable. When people tell me they are unhappy I ask them what they are telling themselves. No matter what is happening around us we can reconnect with our spirit and see life through the eyes of love.
St. Agatha was so connected with her spirit and able to see everything, even the magistrate through the eyes of love. Her love was so powerful and her spiritual connection so deep that people who have connected with her have experienced miracles in their own lives.
From the perspective of our spirit we are limitless beings and anything is possible. When we see life through the eyes of our filter system and listen to our inner dialog we are often miserable, lonely and depressed.
We can live life like the Saints and experience bliss. We can live in heaven or hell – it is all up to what we tell ourselves moment by moment and as nothing to do with the events in our life.
So how do we battle depression? How do we create happiness? Moment by moment, thought by thought we choose love instead of fear.
With love and aloha,
Susan
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