To many people the idea of a love addiction seems far
fetched or something that is just made up to explain irrational behaviors. However,
love addiction is not a new concept. Early literature and history are full of
references to people, often very powerful and famous people, which allowed
their dependence on another person to cause their downfall or even death. Why some
people become so dependent on another is largely a factor of emotional needs
that are not met through positive relationships but are somehow met through
negative and destructive relationships.
Love addiction is more than just an emotional need that
isn’t met, there is a potential for serious injury and even death because of
this behavior. When a person continues in a relationship that is abusive,
either physically or mentally, there is a very real danger. Women and men are
abused in relationships, and unfortunately death by an intimate partner is a
very real concern in today’s society. Knowing when love has become an addiction
starts by asking the following questions:
- Have I been hurt, physically or emotionally, by my
- Do I make excuses or rationalize the abuse?
- Do I tend to choose partners that are
emotionally distant or do I have a history of being in abusive relationships?
- Is there a give and take in this relationship or
do I give and give but seem to get nothing or very little in response?
- Can I leave this relationship and move on in my
Answering these questions honestly is the first step in
determining if you may have an addiction to love that is potentially harmful or
dangerous. Most people need help with this very serious issue and greatly
benefit from talking with a therapist or counselor that specializes in
addictions and addiction recovery.