One morning a helicopter crew from my squadron got an order to pick up a mental patient and deliver him to an aircraft carrier. The passenger boarded the copter unescorted, but when it landed on the carrier, four Marines charged in, restrained the bewildered passenger and unceremoniously delivered him to the ship’s doctor. Then the flight crew received another message: “Replace mental patient with dental patient.” The poor guy had a toothache.
— Michael Kvicala