Ever notice how easy it is to call on Jesus when life gets tough? This morning I had a good laugh at myself for this very reason. I’m about half way through this pregnancy and had my first encounter with a contraction over the weekend. It scared me to death. One, I had never in my life felt anything like what I was experiencing. Two, because of the unknown I automatically jumped to the worst possible scenario in my head, which in this case could have been pre-term labor. My first response: PRAY!
I know God hears those prayers and answers them all the time, but I have to imagine that if I were Him, I would find myself pretty fed up with the idea that my family only calls when they need something or when something is going wrong. I do pray everyday, but not like I pray when I’m scared, or hurting, or in trouble. When I’m in those compromising situations, I pray frequently. I’m in constant conversation with God. I’m begging, pleading, and trusting Him with my whole heart, because I know He can make everything okay. But when life is peachy, and everything is going right, our conversations get shorter and shorter. And I don’t always ask for His input as I go through my day. I find myself really only talking to Him when I wake up and before I go to bed, because everything in middle “I can handle”.
After this weekend, I realize that I can’t handle any of this on my own. This morning when I woke up, thankful to have another day with this beautiful child growing in my belly, I realized this takes more faith than I have. This takes more courage, strength, and trust than I can muster. Although the pain and fear have subsided, the tough stuff seems to have left a residue this time. I’m kind of okay with that. That residue is the reminder I needed to say, “I’m not supposed to do the ‘everyday’ alone.” I’m meant to live it with the same scared-silly, hem-clinging faith that I embraced yesterday.
So today I’m striving to keep my conversation with God open, even if it’s just to say THANK YOU 12,000 more times. I want Him to know I want Him, because He so obviously loves and wants me.