On this glorious Easter Sunday morning, I showed up at my regular spiritual gathering place called Circle of Miracles. There I find nourishment for my heart and soul. Today’s ‘speaker/spark’ as the presenter is called was Paolo Propato. Besides being a skillful healer, he is also a from-the-heart speaker who claims not to be particularly articulate. You could have fooled me. Sometimes (even for this prolific writer), less is more when it comes to the use of words. He began the message with the ideas that “It’s all okay. You’re already there. There’s nothing you need to do. The mind is supposed to be the servant of the heart.” It could not have been more perfectly stated for this recovering Type A workaholic who often zooms through life, feeling as if she has to perform to be thought worthy. Call it a lifelong condition and one I am (wanting to use the word working to, but that would be an oxymoron) desiring and intending to overcome. It takes so much awareness to even notice when I am in human doing, rather than human being mode. I work hard, play hard, live large as often as possible, little recognizing at times that this body, this mind, this heart needs rest and reprieve. My treasured friends remind me that I am not invulnerable and invincible as much as I would like to believe I am.
Lately, I have been confronting the just-don’t-knows of this human existence. I have railed against injustice; the ways in which events are unfolding on the planet with the new administration in the states taking over, the ways in which things seems to be falling apart and really they are falling together such that might not have occurred had we not faced such dire consequences. Maybe we have become complacent. Perhaps we needed to let our shake-ups be our wake-ups.
In the midst of this, I still have a habit of wanting to know the answers; the how comes? of circumstances as they unfold.
Perhaps I need just to let the mystery be and love it with all I’ve got.
Today’s theme is around relationships as I spent time on the phone speaking with friends about the roller coaster ride journey most of us are on with regard to one of the most important aspects of this human incarnation. One just ended a seven-month experience the second time around with a man and the other is in a polyamorous relationship with someone who has been in her life a brief period of time and there are issues that are troubling to her. Some friends have health issues that they are facing, others still, financial and career challenges.
All of these people are adept at summoning most of what they want in their lives. I find myself in those paradigms as well at the moment. They, like me, use the Law of Attraction to call to us our hearts’ desires. Even in the midst of this, each of us bumps up against human limitation. We cast desires out into what Abraham-Hicks refers to as ‘the vortex‘ and need to wait for them to return as if they were boomerangs. Sometimes they come back to us in the form we expect and at others, polar-opposite of what we have asked for. That’s what is referred to as a WTF moment in which we are left shaking our heads asking, “Who thought this one up?” That’s when I question whether it makes sense in any form. Only afterward, can I gain some perspective and understand THAT’S why that person or experience has come to me in the way they did. I still want it to be easy and flowing, especially when it feels frustrating and daunting. “Come on, God/Goddess/All That Is, can’t it just be easy? I promise to do my part, now you do yours.” There are times, as I view the Source as an external energy, that either gives me what I want or deprives me of my desires. When I am in that mindset, I feel limited and helpless. When I perceive myself as part of that divine force, the more control I have and know that is futile to resist what shows up since I have been complicit with its co-creation. It is also when I get feisty with the Universe, and almost demand to know why what I have asked for has not appeared as summoned. Another skill I have developed is creating in my mind, particular scenarios that play out step by step as I have seen it. With it come the cautionary thoughts that it be for the Highest Good and that all involved have free will. And, who doesn’t want what they want when they want it?
My friends and I all agreed that clearly, the Divine didn’t get the memo. After all, we have laid the foundation, provided the grunt work, planted the seeds, done everything we are told needed to be done and then surrendered outcome. Even so, we sometimes face what we perceive as unanswered prayers.
In my case, I find myself in existential dilemmas not always certain which way to turn. Since the cardiac event in 2014, I do live heart forward, as if each day could be my last. The quandary with that remains, ‘what if it isn’t?’ I don’t want to be irresponsible and leave a mess in my wake that someone else might need to clean up. Analytical at times and too much in my head, I ruminate over which way to turn. I ask myself if I can’t just enjoy the moment, reading the book page by page without feeling compelled to read the last one and see how the story ends. I query the wisdom of my choices….if this, then that. How about all the what ifs and if only second guessing that I do? Spinning my wheels ceaselessly as if I was stuck in a snow bank. It gets exhausting.
After all this time, I am still more in question than answer mode. Maybe I’m the one who needs to re-write the memo.
I love surprises as long as they are positive. When they are, I feel like a little kid in a candy store in which I am told that I can have whatever I would like. According to Deirdre Hade, author of the newly birthed The (not so) Little Book of Surprises, “a surprise is a doorway, an opening into something new. A new what? A new thought, a new reality, a new you.” The coffee table tome with glossy jump off the pages images offered by artist and photographer Endre Balogh ushers the reader in through that portal. It beckons with come hither fingers which assure that indeed pleasant peek- around- the -corner delights await.
The book was compiled by Will Arntz, who in addition to being the producer and director of the iconic film What the Bleep Do We Know? is Deirdre’s husband.
The author herself is referred to as “a Modern-Day mystic who uses the mediums of poetry, music, and art to impart wisdom from the ancient traditions and inspire others to connect to their soul’s purpose.” That is evident as both celestial and grounded energy pour forth in descriptions such as:
“We are here as mystics. If you are here, you are a mystic. You were born a mystic and you will die a mystic. And there’s no way you will get out of it.”
She challenges the reader with this invitation:
“You are at a choice point. One of the rare times in the incarnation of the human where you choose what the next million years are going to look like and your generation, and the generations of the next twenty years. You are the generation that has been given the duty to choose.”
Hade uses the metaphor of honey in a honey jar perhaps to speak of the sweetness of life, our essential nature and our connection with the Divine. The golden images of bees, honeycomb and the dripping nectar itself show up throughout the book.
‘Surprises’ inquires, “How do we know if it’s God’s voice or not?” and offers direction such as, “Now go clean up the mess.” This, Hade expresses has to do with her relationships, wanting to be in integrity with them. When she needs guidance, she turns to her Source and asks, “God, this situation is something I am going to have to revisit. Help me today to find clarity. Stay with me. Guide my actions. Walk beside me,” all words to which most readers will likely relate.
Hade came by her gifts naturally and from an early age and as a result, worked with her mother to create a healing modality that was put to use when her mother was ill. It contributed to her living 13 years longer than expected. That same energetic imprint is present in the book. When holding it, it feels as if love is pouring through.
Back in my take on the world, the heck with the consequences 20’s, I was a bit more of a physical daredevil than I am now in my fabulous 50’s. I still work out regularly, and earlier in the week, I had taken the risk of riding my bike in the rain. It didn’t start out that way, but once the drops started falling, it wasn’t like I could put the top up as I would have on my Jeep Wrangler. I had to weather the storm, wishing I had windshield wipers on my glasses. Fortunately, the brakes held and I didn’t skid out, even though they squeaked in protest. Three of my far more adept and experienced cyclist friends cautioned me about the perils of downpours. Grateful for the caring council of my ‘road angels,’ as I referred to them.
Somewhere in the late 70’s/early 80’s I went on a day skiing trip that began with intention and ended quite unceremoniously as a result of inattention. I was excited to hit the slopes and took perhaps a 30-minute break for lunch. Come 4 pm, the slopes began to get icy and I was having so much fun, that I kept telling myself, “One more run. One more run.” That final run landed me in a twisted heap in the snow and required assistance down the hill to the car where my cousin ferried me home. As a result of a twisted knee, my ski poles morphed into crutches that were my companions for six weeks. In my 30’s the injury was exacerbated and required arthroscopic surgery.
I am insatiable for life. I slurp the juice from the bottom of the glass and don’t miss a drop. I call in exciting adventures and people who light me up. I take flights of fancy and fantasy as I live out loud. Sometimes I stretch beyond my edge and have a difficult time rebounding, but I always do. I appreciate all of it and take none of it for granted. My friends and family are my treasures. I tell people how I feel about them, holding nothing back because we never know what tomorrow brings.
When I was telling a friend (one of the aforementioned road angels) about my ski-slope slide, this wise man responded, “Sometimes it’s better to accept and treasure what you have rather than pushing for the next best thing because sometimes the next best thing is right there beside you.” I couldn’t agree more even as I know that the adventurer in me is always on the lookout for the next experience that will delight me. For me, it is not an either/or, but instead a both/and. I get to cherish what I have and desire to drink in more.
A song about skiing for your listening pleasure.