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Messages: 1 - 4 (27 total)

	kemeticwarrior 1/30/2001 9:00 PM	1 out of 27
	Hi! I mean everything I ask with the utmost respect and please don't take offense because I know these are sensitive issues. 1. How did you know you guys were gay,lesbian,bi,or trisexual,transgendered(Hope I got it all=)? Please share stories if you don't mind. 2. Do you think it was your choice (You chose to be like this) or it was something you are born with that you can't change? 3. How did you cope? How did you 'come out'? Were people supportive? Did they come around? 4. And, if any one else here that reads this that isn't gay but had a homosexual experience and thought you were....well, how did you know you weren't? And to those who are homosexual, what do you think about these types of people? 5. Are there any names you find offensive? I don't mean queer and stuff like that, but even gay, lesbian, trisexual, bi, and trangendered? Thanks for your time. I look forward to reading your answers and apologize if anyone took offense. Peace and Love, kemeticwarrior0=)_

	Human_Bean 1/31/2001 12:48 AM	2 out of 27
	KW- No offense taken.... 1. I knew I was a lesbian when I fell in love with a woman. I was 18 and every relationship I had with a man went bad after about a month. I never felt quite comfortable with them. 2. For me, there was no choice. Granted, I could have chosen not to act on it, but if I hadn't, I would have been alone for the rest of my life. I just don't find men appealing. 3. For me, there was no coping. I was always a little unusual, so it didn't shock my family much either. They seemed to think that as long as I was happy, not doing drugs, and going to school, that things were all right. 4. Sometimes after a gay experience, people find it is not right for them. There is nothing wrong with that. The only people that bother me are those that deny how they really feel or play with peoples' emotions by experimenting without letting the other person know they are just a plaything. 5. Well, my wife would tell you that she is not a lesbian - go figure. Just the idea of labels irritates her. As for me, call me what you will, as long as it is respectful. I'm not really sure what trisexual is, so....don't call me that. Did all of that make enough sense?? -Bean

	bleddynn 1/31/2001 3:28 PM	3 out of 27
	No offense is taken. :o) 1. I've known I was gay since I was fairly young. I just always wanted to be close to other guys, and it kind of went from there. 2. Hmmm... I never consciously chose to be gay. Now, I don't know if I would even be straight if the option was available. 3. I kept it a secret for a long time, and it was pretty detrimental to my overall health. When I came out to my friends, I only lost 1 friend over it. The rest of them were very supportive and happy that I told them. My parents didn't react well, but I had to live my own life. If they wanted to be a part of my life, it was going to be on my terms. 4. What's to think about? Many people have had homosexual experiences that are not gay. It's a part of exploring one's sexuality. :o) 5. Well... I have problems with all of the politically correct terms. I am not a card carrying activist, and I think way too many people take themselves way too seriously. They look for something to take offense at. It saddens me that we have so many terms to categorize the members of the homosexual community, but none offend me. I wish there wasn't such a strong feeling of separation between the various groups. If someone took offense, they so need to lighten up. ;o) Bleddynn

	nettl626 1/31/2001 4:37 PM	4 out of 27
	1. How did you know you guys were gay,lesbian,bi,or trisexual,transgendered(Hope I got it all=)? Please share stories if you don't mind. I was in a heterosexual marriage for 18 years but I fell in love with my partner after meeting "her" on line. {My partner is an unaltered transgendered female to male) However I didn't know that "she" wasn't a man (physically) until several weeks into our relationship. I was never attracted to women before this time and I'm still not attracted to women. 2. Do you think it was your choice (You chose to be like this) or it was something you are born with that you can't change? I was born heterosexual. When I fell in love with my partner I didn't know that what was on the outside didn't match what was on the inside. I fell in love with the inside before I ever knew the outside. 3. How did you cope? How did you 'come out'? Were people supportive? Did they come around? It was very difficult for me at first. I was married to a Southern Baptist minister and had been raised in a conservative SB home. My marriage was failing not because I realized I was a lesbian (I'm not a lesbian) but because I was in an emotionally abusive and controlling relationship with my ex-husband. Because of my denominational affiliation's adhearance to the idea that homosexuality is sinful, I was completely deserted by denomination, friends, and family. I lost everyone. It has not been quite a year yet since my divorce was final. I am beginning to see my parents come around some. However I believe that this is because my mother is dying of cancer and she doesn't want to die with our relationship in disarray. 4. And, if any one else here that reads this that isn't gay but had a homosexual experience and thought you were....well, how did you know you weren't? And to those who are homosexual, what do you think about these types of people? I don't really have an opinion concerning this. 5. Are there any names you find offensive? I don't mean queer and stuff like that, but even gay, lesbian, trisexual, bi, and trangendered? I don't find "lesbian" offensive. However, because I'm not really a lesbian I don't particularly like being labeled as such. I understand, however, that we live in a society that is fixated with what is on the outside. Humans have a difficult time seeing beyond the obvious. When people look at my partner and me they see a couple of "dykes". (Which is really funny! I still dress and look like a very feminine, conservitive minister's wife! hahahahahaha!!) But once people get to know us they quickly realize that we're a typical "straight" couple. The other thing that's interesting about this is that homosexuals seem to have more of a problem understanding us than heterosexuals. We have a particularly difficult time with fitting in. We don't really fit in with the heterosexual community but netiher do we completely fit with the homosexual community. It can be lonely for us at times. We have a hard time with the "transgendered" label simply because people confuse it with "transvestite". My partner has chosen to remain unaltered out of respect and concern for her mother and two sons. However, she does wear men's clothing and shops in the men's departments for her clothing. In our more intimate circles our friends even refer to her using male pronouns, which she does prefer. However, she understands when people don't. Her being transgendered isn't something we are going to stand on the street and announce. So we simply have to put up with being labeled as lesbians.

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