Schooling Tim Russert

He's too much of a hack to learn, but let me show you how it's done--or how it could be done if the lords of media didn't think that journalists need politicians more than pols need journalists. Or if I got a TV show. Or if "House" were a real person.

As you may know, there was yet another definitive report released on Friday: NO connection between 9/11 and Saddam. On Sunday morning, Dick Cheney went on Meet the Press." And there he said:

CHENEY: You’ve got Iraq and al-Qaeda, testimony from the director of CIA that there was indeed a relationship, Zarqawi in Baghdad, etc. Then the third...

RUSSERT: The committee said that there was no relationship. In fact...

CHENEY: Well, I haven’t seen the report; I haven’t had a chance to read it yet, but the fact is...

And that was it. Russert moved on--it's his crowning skill. What should he have done? This:

Really, Mr. Vice President? It's Sunday morning, 36 hours after that report was issued. Surely you knew I'd ask about this. And by the nature of your job, this is important information. Were you not briefed?

(Cheney responds with some evasion.)

Well, then, perhaps you could tell us: What's a day like in your office? Take us through your day.

(Cheney blows more smoke.)

Don Corleone--I'm not making an analogy--always wanted to hear the bad news first. Considering how often the administration has linked 9/11 and Iraq, this new report sure looks like bad news. Is there someone in your office who has the job of telling you what you don't want to hear?

(Cheney does whatever.)

So let's see. Not much interest in a dialogue with the media. No intrusion of bad news. Tell me, Mr. Vice President, what American institutions do you respect?

(Cheney blathers.)

I've got some other questions to ask, but I'd rather explore this. Let me read you the relevant passages from the report, and then perhaps you'll comment....

I know: too much to hope for. Cheney would never appear again. Gee, wouldn't that be just awful?