Are You Lonely Tonight?

According to a study featured in USA TODAY, we used to have several confidants. Now we have one. Yes, America, you're lonely.

This is not exactly a surprise. The great Philip Slater, way back in 1970, showed us all the ways this culture had it backward. Add 35 years, several idiots in the White House, the ever-present TV set, time-wasting blogs like this (just kidding), and it's worse.

Americans are lonely for any number of reasons. See if you recognize any of these...

WE WORK TOO MUCH: I read somewhere that we don't take our full vacation time. And, if we do, there's a Blackberry in our pocket. [In Europe, August is a non-month. On the other hand, most Europeans don't work two or even three jobs. But they're Socialists, right? I mean, they have guaranteed health care and stuff.] What, exactly, is it that's so glorious about work? And why aren't the people we meet there our friends?

WE HAVE NOTHING TO SAY: In the great play, Stuff Happens, someone says, "America changed after 9/11." And someone shoots back, "Yes, you got stupider." And it's true. Everything's at a 4th-grade level now. You have your choice between two equally dumb black-and-white political parties. You watch TV far too much. And then you want someone to talk to? Really? What, exactly, do you want to talk about?

MOBILITY IS NOT A GOOD THING: The people you want to talk to are elsewhere.

THE INTERNET: Yeah, we have friends. We have no idea what they look like, but.... Query: If you have cybersex with someone you have never seen, is he/she a confidant?

LONELINESS IS THE TRUTH: The existential position. We're all alone. Now more of us grasp that.

I find myself strangely unsympathetic to the so-called lonely. I want to shake them: "Hey, fools, turn off the TV and power yourself out of that chair! Join a book club! Feed the poor! Take up a team sport! Go to a museum!" And so on.

A big ship can't dock in your port if you don't send out any little tugboats. Tired of being lonely? Send out some little boats...