Just like you learn in a 12-step groups for friends and families of alcoholics, the only person you can totally control is yourself, so it’s best to begin there. Theoretically, no one can make you feel a certain way unless you allow them to. Theoretically (because I, for one, would not be able to do this), if your boss screams at you for being incompetent — the biggest idiot she’s ever worked with — you don’t have to claim that insult. You can let it float over your head, missing your brain altogether. I think that just knowing you hold the helm of your sympathetic nervous system (which rings the alarm bells of panic in your brain) is going to give you some relief and empower you.