Perfectionists often fall into the trap of contingent self-worth. If you feel like your value as a human being depends on how someone else sees your accomplishments, you are bound to feel anxiety, shame, and out of control. If you have to be perfect and you won’t allow others to see your mistakes, you can’t be real. Your energy goes into impression management instead of task completion. What you imagine others think of you is bound to be far worse than is the case. When important people do judge you harshly, consider the source. Their negativity reflects their own issues. Give yourself permission to sever the bonds of contingency.
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