How to Dump Disappointment

One of the most difficult things to contend with in life is disappointment. It’s the reason why we hold back our emotions, why we’re consistently indecisive and why we’re afraid of taking big risks.

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One of the most difficult things to contend with in life is disappointment. It’s the reason why we hold back our emotions, why we’re consistently indecisive and why we’re afraid of taking big risks.

Once upon a time, a very long time ago, there was a little child who had BIG dreams and saw the world as a limitless well of opportunity. That is, until one day someone stole his/her hope away. Not only that but they took it and like a delicate flower, crushed it carelessly in their hand. The hurt and pain of witnessing such brutality and cruelty were so painful that the child never recovered and vowed that he/she would never ever let them him or herself dream again.

It goes something like this…

Although the story may be subtly different in your case, you may recognize a little piece of yourself in it. For me as a child, it was the heartbreak of learning about Santa Claus. As I grew older, it became the job I didn’t get, the relationship I thought would go somewhere, the realization that I had less control of things than I thought I did.

With every great hardship, comes deep disappointment. But how we respond to it, how we perceive it, determines our strength, our courage and ultimately the way we live our lives.

A friend once told me that growing older meant watching one dream die after another. It was a depressing statement. One that I decided to dump along with disappointment.

Dealing with Disappointment

Whenever I fall into the trap of disappointment, I remind myself that expectation is an illusion. We can only be disappointed if we had a grand perfectly planned outcome in our minds to begin with. Instead of resisting life’s mysteries as an attack on our dreams, why can’t we take ourselves out of the equation and be open to the idea that God has a better, bigger plan for us?

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Maybe you didn’t get the promotion you wanted or the home you dreamed of owning, and right now you’re feeling like every decision you’ve ever made was wrong. You’re not just disappointed with one thing. You’re disappointed with the way you’ve planned out your life.

I’d like you to consider the following. Remember a time when something went exactly the way you planned. Now think of a moment in your life when something wonderful happened (a new love, a friendship, a job opportunity) that you hadn’t expected. Wasn’t the latter an even greater blessing than knowing what to expect? Remind yourself that life isn’t something to be controlled. Just because life isn’t working out the way you want it to, that doesn’t mean it won’t work out in the end.

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Brandi-Ann Uyemura
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