Spiritual Friendship

I dislike being brought to tears. I stubbornly refuse to choke up during sad movies. I sit stoically reminding myself that I am being manipulated by the movie director. So when I first met with another kind of director--my spiritual director--I just knew she would say something that would make me cry, and so I braced myself.

Sure enough, about half an hour into the meeting, she gently suggested that perhaps God wanted to communicate with me just as much as I wanted to communicate with God, and the tears welled up. Not for long though, because I changed the subject to the safer topic of general theology.

God is a master of subtlety--no bolts of lightning, only quiet reassurances...a feeling of peace.

That was six months ago. Now when we have our monthly meeting, I reach for the tissue and keep talking through the tears as we explore the possibility that God might want me to feel comforted, encouraged, and even loved. Together, we look for ways that God might be communicating this message to me.

I've decided that God is a master of subtlety--no bolts of lightning, only quiet reassurances, words spoken through a stranger, a feeling of peace with a decision made, an inner nudging toward a life focused on the spiritual.

My spiritual director listens as I grapple with my own resistance to God's intimate presence. Sometimes, she points out a correlation between my journey and that of Christ when I ask her for help in seeing my struggles in a larger context. I want to be brought out of the isolation chamber of my own self-centered mind and into God's presence, and she companions me along the way.

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