Funny Thoughts

BY: SusanD

dailychuckle

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to harm himself, is it
considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered
plant?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean
them?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain
silent?

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
(Isn't it already sour?)

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Today's Spiritual Quote
Today's Spiritual Quote
Perhaps there is no God or perhaps all of us together make up God, but with a guardian angel you don’t need anyone but yourself, and soon, if you pay attention, you don’t even need your guardian angel anymore. end quote
-A. Manette Ansay
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