Back in the cowboy days, a westbound wagon train was lost and low on food. No other humans had been seen for days ... and then they saw an old Jewish Rabbi, sitting beneath a tree. The leader rushed to him and said, "We're lost and running out of food. Is there someplace ahead where we can get food?"
"Vell, I tink so," the old Rabbi said, "but I vouldn't go up dat hill, und down de udder side. Somevun tole me you'd run into a big bacon tree." "A bacon tree?" asked the wagon train leader."Yah, ah bacon tree. Vould I lie? ..... Trust me, I vouldn't go dere."
The leader goes back and tells his people what the Rabbi said.
"So why did he say not to go there?" some pioneers asked." Oh, you know Jewish people don't eat bacon." So the wagon train goes up the hill and down the other side. Suddenly, Indians are attacking from everywhere and they massacre all except the leader who manages to escape back to the old Jewish Rabbi.
The near-dead man starts shouting, "You fool! You sent us to our deaths! We followed your instructions, but there was no bacon tree. Just hundreds of Indians, who killed everyone but me."
The old Jewish man holds up his hand and says, "Oy..... vait a minute." He then gets out an English-Yiddish dictionary, and begins thumbing through it. "Oy Vey, I made myself such ah big mishtake! It vuzn't a bacon tree. It vuz a ham bush."
A single request—excruciatingly simple:relieve me.The plumbing of a human beinghas pipes, valves and openingsworking in s
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"Joey Adams’ Encyclopedia of Humor"