This room is crowded, much like my intestines at this moment.If I were to relieve myself of this pressure right now,the sound would startle small children,and if not, I'm sure the smell would sicken them and kill the plants.Please give a pass on this one.Help me to avoid letting one rip in this embarrassing setting.If I must, let it be silent.Limit the stench to a five foot radius,so that I can blame it on the sleeping dog.Thanks. Read next feature >