Step 3: Connect With His Heart
Connect with his heart using feeling messages.
When a man does withdraw, it creates all sorts of feelings inside us. We feel neglected, uncertain, and angry. And when he comes back, it’s easy to feel resentful. We want him to know that we felt hurt. We don’t want him to think it’s just okay for him to pull away.
But there is power in your words, and the words you choose can deepen the connection you share so that he is more mindful of your feelings when he does need his space. The trick is to talk to him in a way that expresses your feelings without blaming him.
So, instead of saying, “Why haven’t you called?!” try, “I feel so happy to hear from you!” Show him that being with you is a fun, positive experience. When he sees that you didn’t let your emotions overrun you and senses that you didn’t place such a high importance on his actions, he’ll be motivated to stay close and connected with you. He’ll recognize that he’s with a woman who respects his needs while taking care of her own feelings. And he’ll appreciate that you didn’t blame or criticize him.
When you create a positive experience with him, he’ll also gradually realize that being close and connected with you is a valuable part of his life he won’t want to live without. He’ll see that being with you does not mean he needs to give up his sense of self or his independence, and the bond you two share will become even stronger.
Rori teaches women how to effortlessly attract the right man and have the secure, close relationship they want. To learn specific words that will help you connect with a man’s heart at every stage of your relationship, subscribe to Rori’s free e-newsletter. You’ll also learn how to handle your feelings when a man becomes distant from you and how to respond to him so that he can’t help but want to be connected with you again.
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