Swap longing reverie for gratitude—by whatever means you can. A photo of your dog or cat. Photos of your kids, an upbeat song without a history to it. Something to look forward to—a ritual you enjoy. Try having a book on tape to stop the tape in your head. Books work better than music because they are intellectually captivating and pull you into the moment. Music can do the opposite, drop you right into the past.

Keep a tape in the car, which is a place we’re particularly vulnerable to romanticizing. The left- brain act of driving puts your “logic brain “ into neutral and gives your right brain a chance to wander down memory lane. Best book to get on tape? “How to Break Your Addiction to a Person” by Howard Halpern.