What is it that brides-to-be should be mindful of in between appointments with the caterer and dress fittings?This is about you going from being a single woman with a boyfriend to becoming a married woman with a husband. This is about growing up and growing into the kind of commitment you once only dreamed about. It is about taking two complete and whole individuals with their greatness and their flaws and merging into a partnership that is beyond any union you have ever had in your life. It's about stepping up to the plate to say, "I do," and being ready to step up to the plate in marriage. The details of planning and the sometimes blinding stress that comes along with planning, I think, are often a diversion from the feelings related to this commitment. Fear and occasional panic are not uncommon.
Yes, even picking out napkins can be a rite of passage.Sometimes we bury these by worrying about the color of the napkins and yapping at the bridesmaids about their shoes. What is at the heart of the worry may be, "Whoa, we are really having a wedding here, I am marrying this guy, this is for real. Am I ready? Is he ready? Can we handle it?" So a bride may focus on the details of the external experience rather than the internal. We all do that. Forgive yourself if you get lost there for a while and come back to the inner journey soon as you can.
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What are some ways a bride-to-be can make the planning process a rite of passage?
Treat every step of it as sacred. From the day you become engaged to the moment you say "I do," make every moment count as a special occasion to be savored. The first time you try on dresses, the meeting with the caterer, the day you get your license--these are all the small steps you take to the Big Moment. Cherish them. They are just as important in getting you ready for marriage. You need all the things that happen in between the engagement and the wedding day to get your soul ready to be in a committed relationship that will become the foundation of your life.
What are the most important spiritual and emotional issues that brides-to-be need to address? Use the wedding planning experience as a study of and exercise in family dynamics, relationships with friends, how you handle stress, and the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship with the man you will marry. There is plenty of fodder for growth! Weddings can be a healing for everyone involved. The journey is different for each of us. For you, it could be owning your power as a woman, and making firm decisions with your mate instead of following everything Mom and Dad want. It could be giving yourself permission to not be perfect and recognizing you are not going to fix all your flaws before marriage--rather, you can decide to blend them into your union and be loved, despite them. It could be strengthening your spirituality and weaving your beliefs into your ceremony and into your marriage.
First off, you want to make sure you are in this for the marriage, and not just the wedding.