Ask Pastor Paul
(your word not mine),
Where have you been hiding? Don't you know that virginity is in? Everyone from Britney Spears to Jessica Simpson to Brendan Fehr ("Roswell") is speaking out about, or is pledging to maintain, their virginity until marriage. It is totally cool and OK not to have sex if that is what you are comfortable with.
It sounds like you are comfortable with it, and that makes the boyfriend question easy. No person is ever worth compromising your own integrity. Without being self-righteous (nobody likes that!), set your personal moral standard and make sure your friends and boyfriends live up to it--or find new ones who will.
As far as breaking it to the boyfriend, put what you are offering him in the positive. Think of all the things you are going to offer him in this relationship: your friendship, your beautiful presence, someone on his side, your love, your affection--all these things he gains by staying with you.
If your boyfriend is just after sex, then he is going to take off and wasn't the right guy for you. Fear not and be patient--there are plenty of guys who are looking for exactly who you are.
I feel your pain. During those hyper peer-conscious years, anything out of the ordinary in your household (like a "kooky" Mom) can be painful.
However, I can't help but wonder how you would feel if the shoe were on the other foot--or the crystal was in the other hand. If you decided that you wanted to go on a spiritual/musical/fashion road trip, wouldn't you want your mother's support? Of course you would. Your mom is a real live person who has spiritual needs, and her pursuit of those needs is legitimate and honorable.
Talk to your mom. Ask her about her newfound spirituality. During a positive discussion about what she's learning, mention to her what your friends are saying and how it makes you feel. Hopefully, she will understand and will tone down the chanting while your friends are around. If she doesn't, don't invite your friends home, and she will have to deal with the fact that her newfound spirituality is losing her time with her daughter.
So you met a guy you like and you started dating. You and the guy seem very similar at school and hanging out around town, but it turns out you return to homes with different cultures and traditions. His parents start raising "constant" objections that your friend feels compelled to relay to you, and I am wondering what your parents think about the situation.
If someone has not already told you, I will: All relationships require sensitivity and commitment. Interfaith relationships require extra sensitivity and commitment. You, my Kansas friend, are in an interfaith relationship.
The question is: At your stage of life (14 years old), is this relationship worth the extra work?
If the answer is no, then cool off, hang out, and just be friends.
If the answer is yes, then start by asking your friend about his religious beliefs and practices, and share your own with him. Explore what you really feel about an interfaith relationship and ask him what he really feels. He may be trying to understand his own identity as a member of a religious minority in this country (and certainly in Kansas). Perhaps he is telling you about his parents' comments because he is still trying to figure out how he feels about this very question. If his parents are rude to you, simply avoid spending time with them. Try not to let this relationship be a form of rebellion for him or for you. AND HAVE FUN! That is what dating is supposed to be about at your age. When it is no longer fun--call it quits.