Confessions of an Imperfect Mom

Motherhood is loaded with guilty moments. Fortunately, angels abound.

"You can forget about being a perfect mom," my mother said to me over the phone when my husband and I arrived home from an emergency clinic where my two-month-old daughter had received a shot of strong antibiotic for a bacterial infection she'd caught on the plane a few days earlier, and my two-year-old son had been diagnosed with yet another ear infection.



He had screamed several times the night before, but I fought my instincts and let him cry it out because a friend insisted it was the only way to teach him to sleep through the night.

My list of mothering mistakes was growing by the day: I shouldn't have flown with Katherine so young. I should have cut out caffeine during my first trimester--maybe that was the cause of Katherine's irregular heartbeat, detected when I was pregnant.

And would David bill me twenty years from now for his counseling sessions to work through the time his mom ignored his desperate cries at 2 A.M. in an effort to try to teach him how to sleep?

Of course that was nothing compared to the guilt I felt when one-year-old David wandered into the utility closet and squirted some tub and tile cleaner into his eyes. After I flushed out his eyes, a neighbor drove us to the emergency room since I hadn't a clue if he swallowed the stuff. Five hours later I learned he was okay.

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But by far my biggest mistake to date was publicized on the front page of the Annapolis paper on my birthday this year for everyone to read.

I tried to do a good thing for a friend on Ash Wednesday. She asked me if I would watch her two-and-a-half-year-old after preschool for an hour or two. I readily accepted, feeling that I owed someone a work of charity, especially since I hadn't made it to Mass yet.

"No problem," I said, as I strapped her son's car seat between my son and my four-month-old. "It'll be fun. We'll get lunch, ice cream, and then feed the ducks."

It was a perfect day for that: sunny and in the 40s. So after the two guys fueled up on sugar (mistake number one), we headed to the city dock to feed the ducks what was left of the boys' grilled cheese sandwiches. I had the baby strapped on to me in order to manage the quick movements of two-year-olds with both my hands, which is why I couldn't do anything but scream when my friend's son fell into the frigid water. As I frantically tried to unstrap the baby from my chest, a man sitting nearby dove into the water and rescued the boy.

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