All Pro Dad: 7 Gifts to Give Your Kids

Seven Essentials to Win

Dads, want to be a hero to your kids? According to author Mark Merrill, in the National Football League, any good coach will tell you it’s not the spectacular highlight-reel type things that make you a Super Bowl winner.

“It’s knowing and executing the fundamentals day in and day out. That’s how you win. That’s how you become great. In my new book, All Pro Dad, you’ll learn that just as knowing and executing the fundamentals of football are the key to a player becoming a champion, knowing and executing the fundamentals of fatherhood are the key to a dad becoming a champion.”

And the two most important fundamentals for a dad are love and leadership. To effectively execute those fundamentals, every father must know these seven essentials — Makeup, Mind-set, Motive, Method, Model, Message and Master. Here, from Merrill are the seven gifts every father should give his child.

Know Your Mind-set

What should be a dad’s mind-set in raising his kids? The mind-set of many fathers is thinking that their job as a dad is to be just a provider and protector. But that’s not enough. An All Pro Dad needs to have a new mind-set. Let me illustrate. Navy SEALS are physically and mentally tough. Their job and their mission are all-important. That’s their mind-set. A dad’s got to be mentally tough too. He needs to have the mind-set that being a dad is his most important job and that his mission is all-important. What’s that mission? To love and lead his children. To accomplish that mission, an All Pro Dad must also establish clear goals for his family, undergirded with patience and kindness.

Know Your Motive

Why is it so important for a dad to know his motives in raising his kids? As a leader in your home, motive is so important. If you don’t have good motives, you will make bad decisions for your children. Winston Churchill once said, “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” As a dad, I need to constantly ask myself, “Am I living my life to give or to get?” When it comes to my kids, I need to ask “Why am I making this decision?” “Is it best for my child long-term or just a short-term fix that’s convenient for me?” “Is this activity something my child will enjoy or just something I want to do?” When you have selfless motives in raising your kids, you’ll greatly expand your capacity to love and lead them.

Know You’re a Model

Dads, do you have breach in your fatherhood fuselage? A number of years ago I became a private pilot. During training, I learned that a critical responsibility of a pilot is to do a pre-flight inspection. That includes inspecting the integrity of the plane to ensure that there are no cracks in the wings or fuselage. Even a minor breach can spell disaster. Likewise, a model dad must ensure that he is living a life of integrity. To compromise, even in the slightest, could be devastating for his child. Integrity is what you do when no one else is looking. Dark secrets and addictions in your life can cause a dangerous breach in your fatherhood fuselage and keep you from growing as a leader, especially in your home. Men, bring to light what you’ve been hiding. Be a man of integrity.

If you really want to love your kids well, be a worthy model of integrity for them to follow.

Know Your Message

Men, what is your message? Our message is what we have to share with others. Our message is often born out of what gives us pain. We all experience pain. The question is, “What will I do with pain?” “Will it make me more focused on myself or on others?” In my new book, All Pro Dad, I share how pain can be a “relational bonding agent.” The pain you’ve experienced in losing a job, in losing a child, in divorce or alcoholism can be used to help others who have gone through the same thing. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., said, “Everyone can be great, because everyone can serve.” Dads, we need to show our kids that loving and serving others is our great and eternal duty.