The cycle of emotional states demonstrates the roller-coaster ride of activity and passivity as the hurting person wriggles and dodges in her desperate efforts to cope with the trauma, avoid change and finally be reconciled to it.

The person starts out in a state of relative stability and then the bomb goes off. Over an unspecified period of time, he or she progresses through these states:

·         Immobilization stage: Shock. It takes a while for the enormity to register and sink in.

·         Denial stage: trying to avoid the inevitable.

·         Anger stage: Frustrated outpouring of bottled-up emotion.

·         Bargaining stage: Seeking in vain for a way out. Make promises to God if He’ll fix things; setting conditions for healing.

·         Depression Stage: Final realization of the inevitable. Finally resolved to the fact that he or she won’t be able to restore life to the way it was.

·         Testing stage: Seeking realistic solutions.

·         Acceptance stage: Finally finding the way forward. They are now fully acknowledging the trauma or crisis.

No one can say for sure how you will deal with your unique trauma. Therefore, don’t compare your grief process with someone else’s.