What You Can Expect To Experience – “Normal” Grief
• Fear: You may fear that loss will occur again, that you won’t be able to care for yourself, that you’ll be alone, that your friends will reject you.
• Anger: You could be mad at yourself, your circumstances, your friend who dies, your CO who ordered you into battle, at God for allowing your trauma, the paperboy for bringing more bad news from the front, your neighbor for being intrusively helping and caring.
• Rage: Sometimes you feel better afterwards. Sometimes you don’t.
• Weeping: You may cry some and then more at other times. Your tears may range from controlled to uncontrollable.
• Guilt: You may blame yourself for what happened, even though you didn’t cause it and couldn’t do a thing about it.
• Loneliness: You may feel that no one can understand what you’re going through now – and that no one wants to, either.
• Blaming: The blame can range from yourself, to others or even to God.
• Running away/numbing. You may try drugs, alcohol, work, travel, ministry, sex, food shopping – anything to get away from your difficult environment.
• Other symptoms may consist of: loss of appetite, loss of sexual drive, dehydration, sleeplessness, nightmares, overly talkative, no feelings at all, emotionally overloaded…
If these symptoms persist for a long time (many months or years) it means something has “hung up” the process. But for now, it’s OK! What you feel is normal and you need to welcome these feelings, not try to fend them off!