As the magnitude of trauma and its effects sink in, a person in crisis asks a lot of “Why” questions. These questions are normal, typical and expected. No one faults you for asking them.
As universal as they are, the frustration of the “Why” questions is that most of them will never be answered this side of heaven. We don’t ask those questions lightly and we really do expect answers. But they just don’t come.
When you start asking the "How" questions, that will be a good sign that you are making good progress. These questions look to the future, rather than the past. They spark action, rather than mere contemplation. They invite help from God and from others.