How Can I Help My Husband? (Contributing to Your Husband’s Healing Environment)
Explore issues of sexual intimacy
When a troop returns from combat after many months of sexual deprivation, it’s quite normal for passions to be running high upon his return. But if he is struggling with Combat Trauma at some level, he may quickly begin to experience “performance” problems as a common symptom of his disorder. Anti-depressants can also cause impotence as a side effect. For most men, this is a very embarrassing development, and it may cause them to avoid having sex for fear that they would continue to “fail.” Or he may shun personal contact with his wife as a manifestation of “avoidance” symptoms.
Too much: For some wives of combat vets, the problem is the opposite: their husband insists on having sex a number of times a day. Sex becomes imperative, and when their wives refuse them, they feel desperately unloved and rejected. For these men, it’s not a matter of seeking sexual release in the sex act, but of finding security, self-esteem and “victory.”
Solutions: Sexual problems between married couples are very complex. We recommend you both make it a matter of prayer and communication if you’re having problems in this area, but in such delicate and multi-faceted matters God will often work through the wise counsel of a trained therapist or counselor. Time, space and the insight of an intermediary will be useful. As you work through many of the other issues addressed, many of your sexual issues could be resolved as well.