It’s been well over a decade since I accepted my diploma under hot stadium lights among a crowd of proud parents and excited friends. And when I look back on that momentous day, I remember the following: 1) how nervous I was that my two worlds (friends and family) would collide and I was anxious about the repercussions 2) the heat from the lights, the summer weather and that ugly gown I swore I’d never wear again 3) worrying about falling flat in front of my face in front of everyone as I walked up toward the podium to receive my diploma.

It was just like my wedding. There was a lot of preparation, but not much discussion about the real life changes that accompanies all rites of passage. In other words, it was all ceremony, but not a lot of substance. If I was able to go back in time and talk to my 17-year-old self, there are a lot of things I wished I could have said. Things like…

Brandi-Ann Uyemura is a freelance writer who specializes in psychology and self-help articles. She has a MA in Counseling Psychology and writes for several publications and websites.