5 Fruit For a Blessed Fall

Family Matters

The family ideal—the cultural, social, and historical values--is the cornerstone of society

Rick Bragg begins his book, Ava’s Man, with a simple profound sentence. “She was old all my life,” he writes in the prologue, referring to his Appalachian grandmother, Ava. I remember that line as I pull on to the shell road that leads us to the top of a hill called Egypt Mountain. It’s here after the deer harvest that my mother’s family--those still around as many good Southern folk of this large family have passed--gather to talk and play and cook. All of us wait our turn to stir in the mashed potatoes to set with the tomatoes, pulled pork, corn, lima beans and a bunch of other stuff. It’s appropriately prepared in a large black caldron for the annual Halloween family gathering that has been charmingly known as the Boo Stew for as long as I can remember.

We’ve mended fences all summer and tended the hogs and raised cattle and October is a time we rejuvenate and enjoy the reaping of a hard summer’s work. And in that workload and daily business of a long hot summer, we sometimes find ourselves in need of repair. We’ve got to mend some fences: the relationship kind.

A large family comes with drama. And some of us are in need of hearing or saying a few more “I’m sorrys” than others might. As the New Year approaches, some of us will need a longer list of resolutions. As my grandfather said as he lay dying, “Son, it’s a short, short journey.” Indeed it is. Regardless of who was in the wrong and who did what to whom, the act of asking and receiving forgiveness must take center stage. Time waits for no one.

Forgive (and Forget)

“When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.”

Forgiving, according to editor Therese Borchard, is an eight step process.

1, Acknowledge the problem. What is the root of the disagreement? You might be surprised.

2. Don’t just share your dispute with the individual, tell them how it makes you feel.

3. Switch places. It boils down to the old wise saying that says, “Put yourself in their shoes.”

4. It is what it is. Accept it. Don’t wait for an apology or understanding. The quicker you find healing, an actual apology isn’t necessary, just an extra special bonus.

5. Don’t dwell. Move on. Rekindling flames just builds bigger fires.

6. Don’t let a bad situation win. Take the experience and become a better person.

7. Let it go. A repeat of step 5 is in order here.

8. Forgive. Forgive by faith, whether you want to or not. Trust God that the forgiveness will be complete.

Best Friends Forever

"The better part of one's life consists of his friendships."
- Abraham Lincoln

My Facebook home page claims I have WELL over 800 friends. But really, do I? Sadly, I can count on one hand the number of high school and college mates that I remain close with. My mother has great friends. She doesn’t need a Facebook page either. And there’s nothing electronic about her friendships. She actually sends them notes and letters. It’s old school, but it is classic. And classy. So, while on vacation, I couldn’t resist purchasing a few cards for Mom to send along to a few of her quirkiest pals. I remember one in particular. “A friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway” it read across the front in big, bold typography. It’s taken from the American writer and philosopher, Elbert Hubard. It’s so true. If you could tell those around you all about any skeletons you have in the closet, would they still like you? Cherish you? Think nothing of it? Better yet, still respect you?\

Have friends that pass this test. Better yet: be that friend to someone else. It’s likely to come full circle.

Fellowship of the Ring

Bob Gilliam of Bible.org defines fellowship as it exists between us and the Father. Fellowship, he says, is a relationship of inner unity among believers that expresses itself in outer co-participation with Christ and one another in accomplishing God’s will on earth.

No Christian can claim he or she doesn't need ministry from other believers. In Corinthians Paul writes: And the eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you"; or again the head to the feet, "I have no need of you." Paul clearly understands that we have all been given gifts for the edification of others.

Friendship requires fellowship. Families grow closer and bond tightly when they come together more often. And, as I John 5 and John 14 reveal, Christians in a true fellowship with God enjoy a love for the brethren, victory over the world, verification of Christ’s credentials, assurance of eternal life, guidance in prayer, and freedom from habitual sin.