The Beliefnet Community Shows Sympathy and Support for a Grieving Mother

One Beliefnet member's question prompts a flood of sympathy & advice

Earlier this month, Beliefnet member sadgryl posted a plea for advice on dealing with one of life's most difficult sorrows: the loss of a child. The community has responded with an outpouring of sympathy, wisdom and personal tales of loss and healing. Read a sampling of their posts and add your own.

If somebody out there can tell me the best way to deal with the death of my child. He has been gone for 10 months and 7 days he was 11 yrs old. I have no ability left to cope with life and would like nothing more than to die, but am having doubts as to that. I seem to have lost the ability to move on or to help anybody else with this. If anybody has any ideas I would love to hear them.

-- sadgryl

Hi I too lost a child my sons twin brother July22,2000, It is one of the hardest things to deal with losing a child, just when you think your finally starting to deal with it, wham you have another day filled with tears. Try to find a support group where you can express your feelings, one for grieving parents, grieving moms something like that.

-- mom25boys (Post #3)

Hello dear one...I am so sorry for your loss. I am still recovering from the shock of the traumatic birth of my first baby, Jeremy who was stillborn-full term this past December due to an umbilical cord accident.I light a candle for Jeremy every evening when I go to bed and say my prayers and meditate. It makes me feel like I've communicated my warmth and love to him and I sleep better (after I blow the candle out!) knowing that I've sent positive energy to him.

--jablab (#4)

After over 20 years it still hurts. My son was 16 years old when I lost him. It seems to take about 2 years to begin to feel alive again..If you have other children remember that they need you now more than ever. If you continue in a state of mourning--those children have lost not only their brother but their mother as well. Surviving children often feel as if their parents would have preferred losing one of them rather than the one who died.

--spete63077 (#8)

Perhaps mythology is right, life is a heros journey. All I understand is that we seem to be unable to embrace pain or darkness. Loving what is beautiful and light flows naturally.

Through coming to terms with our loss, we learn to somehow return the experience to light. We learn to develop within the meaning we give to the loss, a meaning that is useful. It seems to be that if we can find something useful, something good, we find a means to go on.

My wish for you is that in your loss you will continue to hold within you the love you have experienced. My wish is that this beauty will not be taken from you internally, as it has externally.

-- FireRaven (#22)

.The advice that a mother of a deceased child can give you is to stay in prayer, ask God for the streng[th] to help you accept the things that you can not change, ask God for the courage to make it through each day, ask God, and believe that only God can make it better for you.

-- myhearts (#23)

Continued on page 2: »

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One Beliefnet member's question prompts a flood of sympathy & advice

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