We have come to believe that men should never display any type of weakness. We should never experience business failure. We should never be subject to emotional and psychological pain. And, of course, real men should never get depressed.
Shame, according to the popular lecturer Malcolm Smith, is the “leukemia of masculinity.” It makes so many men determined to hide their fears and their faults. If we believe we do not have what it takes to be a man—that we are not adequate and we do not measure up— it invalidates our sense of manhood. Shame is what destroys men’s lives.