First, losses and heartbreak can be cumulative. Every unresolved grief you experience throughout your life may be accumulating over time. While we may believe we can leapfrog over our losses, they can still take a toll on us.
Like barnacles, we become more and more encrusted with distrust, hurt and self-protection every time our heart is broken. We may think we’re getting closer to freedom from pain when we withhold ourselves from love, but we’re really just protecting ourselves from ever being truly vulnerable. We find more ingenious ways of keeping others out of our inner life and share only small parts of ourselves.
Take a good, hard look at your life and think about all of the losses that deeply hurt you. You can’t begin to heal until you know what’s broken.
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Learn From Your Losses»