The Double Date I Ditched

In my sophomore year of high school, I learned that being popular isn’t what’s most important in life. A friend of mine, Lissa, was dating Aaron, one of the most popular guys in school, and they decided to fix me up with one of Aaron’s good friends, Ray. Aaron and Ray were both jocks, big stars on our school’s varsity basketball team, and Lissa was quite taken with them both. Needless to say, most of the girls were, and I was no exception.

Ray had the reputation, though, of breaking girls’ hearts, which made me a little uncomfortable. He dated many girls and often, so that was why, when Lissa asked me if I wanted to go out with him, I felt puzzled. Why would he be interested in a date with me? I was a nerdy brainiac and budding drama geek. Unlike Lissa, who had curves galore, beautiful dark hair and eyes, and the clearest of complexions, I was considered plain. Most of the boys at school thought of me as a friend but not quite date material. So it was hard to believe that Ray could be any different.


Still, I was flattered to be asked out by such a popular boy, and Lissa’s excitement over our future double date was outdone only by mine. We proceeded to make our plans -- who would pick up whom, who would drive, where we would go. Drive-in movie theaters were the big rage, and that was where the guys decided to take us. At this decision, my initial discomfort returned. This wasn’t my first date -- I had gone to both freshman and sophomore homecoming dances -- but it was my first date outside a school function, outside a group setting, and it was my first date with Ray. I wasn’t exactly loving the idea of the four of us in a parked car in the dark, an obvious make-out scene.

I also didn’t tell my parents where we were going because I knew they wouldn’t approve. I’d just turned sixteen that summer, and they were pretty strict. It was the magic dating age in our family, sixteen, as if sudden maturity came at the flip of a calendar page. So I told my parents we were going to a movie, minus the drive-in part, and as Saturday night loomed, I grew more nervous.

When Ray picked me up that night, he was the perfect gentleman, chatting with my parents, holding open the passenger door for me. As we drove to pick up Lissa, and then Aaron, I was beginning to feel that maybe this date would turn out okay. Maybe Ray would genuinely like me, and maybe I’d be the one to break the cycle of his endless parade of girls.

Once all four of us were in the car together, we headed directly to the drive-in and settled into our space. It was one of those last mild nights of autumn, the air crisp with wood smoke. With the front window rolled down a little, you could smell that wonderful woodsy smell. It reminded me of my grandfather’s fireplace, and I started to relax.

Until a few minutes into the movie, that is. That’s when Aaron and Lissa decided to grab a blanket and go outside.

Fear welled within me. I tried telling myself that I was being silly. Ray had been nothing but a gentleman all evening, but with Lissa and Aaron gone, it left just the two of us. The car was very dark by then, with only the reflected light from the movie screen shining in, and Ray didn’t waste any time making his move. Seemingly before I knew it, he had me wedged up against the passenger door, his hands everywhere, his mouth everywhere, his kisses far from gentle. After a few moments, I finally succeeded in fending him off. “Okay, I get it,” he said. “Guess we need to slow this down.” There was no apology, no attempt to hide his intentions. “Don’t worry, all the girls do it with me. All the girls love it.”

I realized in that moment that I represented just one more conquest for Ray, and I wondered how many other girls he had coaxed into this same situation. How many girls had complied, and how many, like me, had tried to tell him no? I decided right then that if this was what it took to be popular, I wasn’t having any of it.

Soon, Ray tried again, and after a bit of struggle, I threw open my car door and stumbled out. “Hey,” he called after me, “Stop. Where you going? Wait!”

But I didn’t stop and I didn’t wait. I rounded the car, found Lissa and Aaron spread out on their blanket, heavy into their own routine. I told them I wanted to leave and I’m sure they could see how distraught I was. We were all whispering, not wanting to attract the attention of other movie watchers -- a moot point, since the place was pretty empty. Lissa pulled herself together, sat up, and glared at me.

It was Aaron who made a lame attempt to smooth things over. “Hey, look,” he said to me, “Ray can be kinda... fast. Why not stay a little longer, and if you still want to leave, we’ll take you home.”

By this time Ray was also out of the car. He tried to hold my hand, but I pulled back. “That’s okay,” I told Aaron, my voice deceptively calm. “I’ll call for a ride.”

I bade them all goodnight, I made my way to the concession area, found a pay phone, and called my dad. When my dad arrived, he didn’t scold me, as I thought he would, for being at the drive-in. Nor did he try to pry as to what specifically had happened. I suspected he knew.

I never spoke to Ray or Aaron again after that night, and hard as it was, when we passed in the halls at school, I held my head high. Lissa and I became distant, which did really hurt, but I suppose I found out that she wasn’t the friend I’d once thought.

As for my dad, he never brought up that night again. I’m sure he knew how hard it had been for me to call him. It had been embarrassing and I’d felt like a dork. I worried for the longest time about gossip at school, about what the boys were saying in the locker room, what the girls were saying behind my back. It sure hadn’t been the most popular thing to do, calling my dad. But at least I hadn’t allowed myself to be pressured into something I’d later regret. At least I hadn’t compromised myself for the sake of popularity. I’d stood up for myself and I’d kept myself safe.