I Shopped for a Church...and Found Spirituality Instead

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Woven through my questioning was The Artist's Way, which I have read as both a student and a teacher. In the winter of 2003, I enrolled in a 12-week course based on the book--designed to unblock and unleash creativity via a spiritual path--and taught by its author, Julia Cameron. The class was held in a spacious, airy room on the Upper East Side through the Sacred Center for Spiritual Living; it took place on Sunday afternoons. Each week, as I attended my class, I began to notice people leaving a worship service as I was arriving. One day I decided to check it out.



That first Sunday, I watched with fascination as Rev. Gold delivered her message. I had never seen anyone command a room like that. I returned the following week. Truly, I had no idea what kind of service I was attending. I just knew it felt right in a place that rarely lets me down--my gut. In the weeks that followed, I listened to Iyanla Vanzant and Audrey Kitagawa of the United Nations give meaningful messages.

Once my Artist's Way class ended, though, my attendance at the Sacred Center began to drop off. It was only after the big questions I mentioned earlier-the ones that had emerged through those discussions at the bookstore--that I started to crave the feeling of rightness I had found at the Sacred Center. So it was nearly a year later, in the spring of 2004, that I returned full force.

Finally, I took the time to learn that I was in fact attending a New Thought church. I have since read up on it and, with the help of a wise friend who also attends the Sacred Center, am just beginning to understand why it speaks to me so. According to the Affiliated New Thought Network, "New Thought...is a modern spiritual philosophy stressing the power of right thinking in a person's life, the idea that our thoughts and attitudes affect our experience and that God (or whatever other name a person might have for a Higher Power) is within the individual." Each Sunday, about 100 people come together for energizing song, guided meditation and a sermon-like message.

Perhaps most significantly, I have begun to form answers to questions that seemed to pelt me like big, fat raindrops when I first left the Catholic church. So here goes:

We are all divine. Christianity may be based on a belief I can't accept, but does any of us really know? I certainly no longer feel that worshipping or thinking like a Christian is positive or sensible for me. As for the Bible, it is filled with wisdom, but it was not written by the hierarchical God espoused in Judaism and Christianity. I will not go to hell for living a positive, purpose-filled life in which I take responsibility for my actions. In fact, the concepts of heaven and hell now seem contrived and man-made to me.

What I know unequivocally is that I feel deep peace when I attend the Sacred Center. New Thought doesn't ask me to discriminate, feel guilty, dwell on suffering, judge, worship a punishing God or be anyone I'm not. When Rev. Gold--or whoever else is delivering the message--stands at the front of the room and speaks, I settle in and enjoy the ride. I have begun to heighten my awareness of "right thinking" by reading books that augment my weekly experience. All of this has made me richer spiritually, more effective as a life coach, more likely to engage in healthy questioning, and essentially more evolved as a person.

I guess you could say that I set out merely window-shopping for a church and have emerged instead carrying a shopping bag filled with deeper spirituality. Assuredly, shopping for cashmere never felt this good.